Humble Formations

Help me God, my Father.

Help me.

I am in need of You.

Your presence. 

Your promises.

Your love.

You.

Now.

Here. 

I'm fading in the flesh.

____________________

Rising in Your Spirit. 

“Peace I leave with you. 

My peace I give to you. 

I do not give to you as the world gives. 

Your heart must not be troubled or fearful.”

John 14:27

Not the peace that the world gives which alleviates our present circumstances and provides instantaneous comfort by money, health, and safety.  

No, not that sort of peace ...

but one that transcends time.  

Peace that comes from knowing that the end is secured and finished for us, and that these present painful circumstances are bringing our hearts into humble formations.  

Humble formations are able to see the face of God as King and Father.  

Bowing our head in recognition of His authority and power, but being brought into a place of honor and glory as a son and daughter of God. 

Why do we forget so easily?

Our humility turns so quickly into pride as if we can't lose this last shred of dignity by recognizing our need and our weakness in some area. 

Why do the feelings leave us providing ample fuel for doubt to get the upper hand? 

When we start to feel unliked, unaccomplished, or left behind then the more we start to believe we are those things and then everything we learned and heard from God is suddenly out the window!  

Why do the days keep going on and on as they do? 

No matter how much I want to think this moment matters in getting what I want, which I can never truly actually pinpoint, it will eventually fade away into a distant memory weeks, months, and years from now.  I want something, but I'll want something again and again and again, because my heart outside of Christ is an endless pit of needs and wants....emptiness trying to fill up. 

What are You speaking Father? 

I'm waiting now, listening now, praying now. 

When will You make known Your heart to me? 

More and more I get thirsty and hungry for more of You, because where you are is where I am home and full of love, but apart from You I can do or be nothing. 

When will I be transformed by Your grace more fully? 

I get deflated by the sin sickness I see in me and around me and in others, but I know that at my funeral all that will be remembered are the things You produced from my life that were good.  Help me live a life focused on Your goodness. 

Humble formations: 

I acknowledge the childish heart in me that gets so cranky or upset at not having my way.  I fuss and throw these inner tantrums and I refuse to accept the peace You give me.  I cling so tightly to my thoughts, I start to hate You.  I don't want to listen to You, I don't want to believe that I don't have to be anxious or worry or rushed, I would rather be upset at You and blame You for when things don't go as planned, because I wanted things a certain way.  I can throw a fit and wail my arms and turn my back on you and roll my eyes and start to bubble up inside with stress and frustration...or I can cry.  

I can cry because at the end of all of that fighting with You, I'm just me and You are still You.

Humble formations is recognizing where I stand  at the foot of the cross.  Humble formations show me what I am and who You are.

But I hate it.  And then I hate myself.

I couldn't breathe and I couldn't gather my thoughts in a coherent way. 

My body aches and my mind is restless. 

What was then and what is now gets all mixed up.  

Some days there is no conclusive bridge to close the gap from my heart to my head.  There is only faith in what I do not see happening.  Only faith will bring me home at this point.  Only faith that feeds on humble formations.  

Jmegrey

Thought War

“For though we live in the body, 

we do not wage war in an unspiritual way, 

since the weapons of our warfare 

are not worldly, 

but are powerful through God 

for the demolition of strongholds. 

We demolish arguments 

and every high-minded thing 

that is raised up against the knowledge of God, 

taking every thought captive 

to obey Christ. 

And we are ready to punish any disobedience, 

once your obedience has been confirmed. 

Look at what is obvious. 

If anyone is confident that he belongs to Christ, 

he should remind himself of this: 

Just as he belongs to Christ, so do we.”

2 Corinthians 10:3-7

The battle is one of arguments, thoughts, and fought only by prayer and by faith in Jesus to fight our battles for us!  We just entrust ourselves to Him.  Cleave to Jesus!  Take cover in the refuge of His love and take refuge in the will of the Father being done today! 

What is obvious?

Have you looked at what you are worrying about?

Is that worry too heavy or too complicated for God? 

Have you looked at something hurtful done to you in the past?

Was that experience not guided by God's hand of love to bring about something good? 

Have you looked at your present circumstances?

Is God too busy to care for all your needs today? 

Look at what is obvious.  

And know God. 

The victor is the one who sides with the Victor. 

Obviously. 

Jmegrey

Two different daughters, two different healings

 Two "daughters" 

“When Jesus had crossed over again by boat to the other side,"

--because when you roll with Jesus you get to where you need to be no matter what.  You're getting to the other side with Him. 

"a large crowd gathered around Him while He was by the sea."

--imagine a large crowd, like the crowd at a football home game or the crowd in Times Square on New Year's Eve or just imagine being immersed in a concentrated group of people haha--

"One of the synagogue leaders (a man who had great influence over the people like Pastor or Samonim), named Jairus, came, and when he saw Jesus, he fell at His feet and kept begging Him, 

“My little daughter is at death’s door. Come and lay Your hands on her so she can get well and live.” 

--You know when you're desperate for something when all pride and image goes out the door and you get on your knees with tears and snot and persistence for what you want!  That's how you know what or who you love....it hurts to feel like you're losing it or that person, and the more it hurts the more you will do whatever it takes to keep it. 

--Some people beg God for money or beg God for health or beg God to get into the school they want, because begging shows how much we need and love something or someone.  That's why when we break down before God in worship it just shows how much we need and love God.  

--Jairus loved his daughter, so when she was sick and dying he got down on all fours because someone he loved was slipping away and Jairus wanted to keep his daughter with him.  

--When something we love feels like it's slipping away, our reputation, our money, our Beauty, our image, we can measure how much we loved something by how painful it is to let it go.  

--When it feels as if God is slipping away, or you are slipping from His presence do you cry out desperately?  Yet, even when we do not love Him He loves you.  And is relentless in chasing you because that's what love does, love never gives up.  God loves us because when we run from Him it hurts Him and He will do whatever it takes to have you back, even dying for you.  But love is not a one way street.  We love God back only when we first realize how much He loves you. 

"So Jesus went with him, (Jairus) and a large crowd was following and pressing against Him."

--Now, Jesus had a task to do.  He was set on seeing Jairus's daughter, they were on the move.  Sometimes we get a call during the day to do something, and we set our steps to get that task done, a program, a meeting with someone, homework, bible reading or hanging out with a friend...but sometimes God interrupts our task...

"A woman suffering from bleeding for 12 years had endured much under many doctors."

--Imagine if some part of your body never stopped bleeding and you had to somehow block it or get dialysis done every month to stay alive.  You went to doctor after Doctor but after spending $1000s of dollars none of them could heal your bleeding.  You just kept bleeding.  And people thought you were gross or unhealthy.  You were viewed as sickly and a sad case of what they would never want.  You were like trash to them, because what you were was something no one wanted to be.  (Especially in that culture where blood was viewed as unclean if exposed). It would be equivalent to someone with AIDS or warts all over their face and body.  So that wherever she went she was never considered pretty or valuable or precious.  That was the case for this woman.  Step into her shoes, for a moment.  Become her because we are her. 

"She had spent everything she had and was not helped at all."

--She turned to this and that hopeful thing or person trying to heal her brokenness.  Trying to get better, trying to be whole, trying to be happy....maybe for some of us we try to fill our selves with achievements or making our parents proud or having a nice body because we think "then I'll be happy"...but you will find out sooner or later that spending your time, effort and money on getting that wholeness outside of Jesus will lead to nowhere...because eventually your achievements will be outdone by someone else, your parents may never be satisfied or if they are they will eventually pass away and with them gone who will you live for to be proud?  Eventually your own bodies will become old and decay with age until your skin is a thin crepe like layer revealing your brittle bones and insides.  All the help she was searching for was failing, and these failings lead her to desperately reach for Jesus.  All she wanted was to be made well...maybe she stopped caring about what people thought and just wanted to live at this point or maybe she wanted to be well so that she could have more friends...we don't know for sure, but what we see is that she got to a point where she was desperate to be healed. 

"On the contrary, she became worse. 

Having heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His robe. 

For she said, “If I can just touch His robes, I’ll be made well! ” 

--Now step into her shoes.  Here's a person who is the unloveable reject among her peers and fellow citizens.  No one wants to be her and she knows this because she doesn't even want to be her!  Have you ever not wanted to be you? It's a really terrible feeling.  To not want to be you means you find yourself worthless and despicable.  Yet there is a clear desire in her to be loved and accepted, heard and held, understood and valued.  For that is the broken image of God in all of us.  We were made for fellowship with a loving God.  So she reached for Jesus in this moment of vulnerability.  Knowing she was unclean and that Jesus would probably treat her just as all her peers had she wasn't going to bother him for his attention, but if the rumors were true and he was the Savior of the world then perhaps if she just touched the hem of his robe as he passed by she would catch some of His saving power and be healed.  

Jesus was, after all, on his way to another sick daughter to heal her, the daughter of an important man of influence, a daughter who was so loved that her own father would beg Jesus to come heal her....but this woman, no one would beg on her behalf.  She came alone.  People probably were snickering and staring at her trying to touch the robe of Jesus like a crazy woman.  She didn't care, she was too broken to care, she was so broken it brought her to this place of doing whatever it took to touch Jesus because in Him she had hope that if He was the Savior then He might be able to save her too.  

"Instantly her flow of blood ceased, and she sensed in her body that she was cured of her affliction. 

At once Jesus realized in Himself that power had gone out from Him. 

He turned around in the crowd and said, 

"Who touched My robes? ” 

--Now, continue to be her in this moment.  You have suffered bleeding in your body for 12 years which means you have suffered being the leper in your society, someone people pitied and did not want to be...you were rejected for 12 years and hated being yourself because you were never good enough for the love of others or never valued as someone worthy of  anyone's time and care because you were gross to people.  You lived as an outcast for 12 years and on top of that you were dying!  You have been bleeding internally for 12 years spending $1000s of dollars in hospitals and seeing doctors who only left you worse than before.  Then all of a sudden, in that moment of desperation and hope in the man passing by said to be the Savior of the world, you reach for the hem of His robe and instantly you know you are healed.  What would you be feeling?  What would you be thinking?  You are healed!  Your 12 years of pain has stopped!  Can you imagine being her.  Because you are her, just not always physically but spiritually.  We were dying too, destined to utter darkness away from the only source of love, our Father who made us, because of sin in us.  What sort of Jesus have you encountered?  What sort of Jesus did she encounter? This woman who had been bleeding for 12 years and suddenly was healed just by touching the hem of Jesus's robe as he was passing by her on his way to heal a loved daughter.  First of all I would be shocked, speechless, and just dumbfounded for at least the first few minutes.  Then it would probably hit me: ...what just happened.  I got what I wanted....but now what?  I wanted healing....but was that all she wanted?  I think that was all she was aware of wanting because it dominated her life, but once she was healed its kind of like...reality check...life is still just as it was before.  But Jesus knew what she really wanted because He knows what is in all of us, that broken image of God in us.  To be whole.  To be loved.  To be God's child.  Even if she wasn't fully aware of that yet Jesus was and He cares for our needs even the ones we do not know about.  He knows what we need because He was with God in the beginning when we were being made. 

"His disciples said to Him, “You see the crowd pressing against You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me? ’ ” 

So He was looking around to see who had done this."

--Jesus was searching for her.  He knew very well who touched Him.  He's God.  He was asking and searching for her for her sake.

"Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came with fear and trembling, fell down before Him, and told Him the whole truth. 

--She told him the whole truth.  That she was unclean but she had the audacity to reach out and try and touch him.  That she did touch his robe, even though she knew she was doing this selfishly because touching his robe meant that he would be considered unclean, but all she wanted was to believe that He was the Savior of the world.  All she wanted was to be healed.  It says she told Him the truth in fear and trembling because she now knew that He was God.  And she had been a reject and undervalued human person for 12 years, if people rejected her then it made sense that Jesus would too...

“Daughter,” He said to her, 

“your faith has made you well. 

Go in peace and be free from your affliction.” 

--This is the only place in the entire bible and in the ministry of Jesus that It is recorded of Him calling someone daughter.  Because Jesus knew that more than healing her bleeding she was need of being healed of her rejection.  In this crowd all around them, looking straight at the woman who was the town reject for 12 years and who had a reputation of being gross and unloveable, uncared for, pitied and never valued as a person, Jesus, who is known and famous for being the Son of God ...people are crowding around him just to hear him speak and to get a look at his face, this Jesus turns and stops in his tracks, on his way to the daughter of Jairus the well known pastor, he stops and turns around.  Do you think He didn't know who touched Him?  I think he knew exactly who had touched Him.  He knew her well, and he wanted to make it known to all the crowd that this was His daughter.  She was not only healed of her physical bleeding but she was healed of the greater internal emotional bleeding of having never been loved.  He declared it before the crowd "daughter your faith has made you well."  She was no longer unclean, no longer unloved, no longer without a father.  The King called her daughter, claiming a new identity over her before all the people.  

"While He was still speaking, people came from the synagogue leader’s house and said, “Your daughter is dead. Why bother the Teacher anymore? ” 

--Jairus's friends came and said "well, too late now for YOUR beloved daughter Jairus.  She's dead.  While Jesus had stopped to help this woman, your daughter suffered the consequences and time ran out.  She's dead"

"But when Jesus overheard what was said,..."

--Say what?  What was that?  Oh heck no.  These guys think they know what's up.  Oh, you think I don't see what you're doing?  You think I'm just taking my sweet time as if I don't know what I'm doing?  As if death itself could stop me?  I'm Jesus.  Recognize.  

"He told the synagogue leader, 

Don't listen to these suckers....jk 

"Don’t be afraid. Only believe.”

Mark 5:21-36

Jesus knows what He is doing.  Whatever situation you may be in, maybe you're the bleeding woman who has held rejection and pain for most of your life or you're Jairus on the verge of losing something or someone you love, Jesus is the Savior of the world.  

Don't be afraid.  Only believe. 

--What I often pray nowadays, and this has become my practice or my dates with God, is to say: 

"Here's my situation God."

I will not fear it for You are the Savior of the world.

Here it is, here's the whole truth of it, and here I lay it down to you.  (Followed by snot and tears, most of the time haha because it comes from such a broken place of needing love.) 

You are getting to the other side.

He is making all things new, even things you didn't realize were in need of being made new or things you thought could never be made new again because it died a long time ago.  

This is Jesus.  

He is never a moment too late.  

Where you are when you find Him is where He intended to lift you up.  

Look at Your Savior! 

Some of you have kept your eyes on the things you see like your sickness, your addiction, your bad habits, your unloveliness, your rejection, your loneliness, or the impending possibility of losing out on something you want or someone you love.  Lift up your gaze higher.   

The Savior of the world has come and He has called you:

beloved sons and daughters.  

Don't be afraid.  Only believe. 

Discussion groups: 

Who do you relate with more and why? 

Jairus or the woman? 

What is the difference between the two? 

Why does Jesus call the woman "daughter"?

What would you do if you were Jairus and people said it was too late? 

Which daughter experienced the love of God more? How so? 

Jmegrey 

Unstoppable God

Though the violence befall me 

Though the killers approach me

Though fire and hell appear before me

Though my own thoughts betray me

Though my heart fail me

Though the world mock me

Though the cold strikes me

Though the pain overwhelm me

Though the burden weigh down on me

Though my sight scares me

Though the feeling leave me

Though fog threatens to swallow me

Though my hunger take control over me

Though the darkness cover me

Though discontent infects me

Though my friends abandon me

Though my own family leave me

Though the ones I love reject me

Though all may seem to hate me

Though the skies crumble over me 

Though the wall stand tall to stop me

Though my limbs lay limp beside me

Though I fall and the cause be only me

Though Your presence unsettles me

Though death itself finds me

I will remain in You.  

Safe and sound. 

You make all things new.

You turn the bitter into sweet.

You bless the broken pieces.

You give comfort to the crying.

You give joy to the sufferer.

You smile upon the servant.

You welcome the child-hearted home.

You sing me to sleep.

You give me a new song everyday.

Your mercies are new every morning.

Your kindness leads me to repentance.

Your grace is enough. 

You are always with me. 

You are for me.

You are my Father.

You are good.

Your love endures forever.

You are the beginning and the end.

You do not sleep or slumber.

You defend the poor and powerless.

You hear the prayers of the broken-hearted.

You accept a cheerful giver. 

You provide for all of my needs.

You see me.

You died for me.

You gave Your life to be with me. 

Remember the truth

Separation is preparation.

Pain is walking into the plan.

Faith is being uncertain. 

So many small anecdotes I have learned to help me -R E M E M B E R- because human beings have a brain that is so dang wildly mysterious and oftentimes out of control.  We forget certain things or we choose to hold on to certain thoughts or we twist certain truths into a lie or ugly lies into better looking lies to justify ourselves.  We must be good and right.  We must be found not guilty.  And we run from being found out or naked and exposed. 

So remember.  

There is only one truth and one way and one Life, and His name is Jesus. 

I've got a training method that makes more sense than the wild behavior of my brain being allowed run wild as if it always held on to the right thoughts and let go of the bad ones.  

All of that is connected to desire, and honestly I have some desires that are not good for me so I know the desire will subtly manipulate my thoughts to get what it wants.  Which makes it sound like my desires are not me, when of course they are me and they are my responsibility, but I'm more and more sure that I'm wrong.  So even though they are me, I am wrong!  This realization helps me trust myself less and trust the only truth, Jesus, more.  He is right and good and perfect in all of His ways.  

My desires are not always right.  For example, my desire to get perfect grades without having to study will twist my thoughts into somehow justifying cheating which I know is not good for me, even though good grades are good for me, especially if I manage to get them by using an optimal way of studying efficiently.  Howeevr, somewhere along the way things get real twisted.  I want to be skinny but I also want to eat a lot.  Meaning I should eat a lot of healthy food and workout because I can get what I want, but things will get twisted and I'll try to starve myself instead or overwork my body in ways that are not healthy. 

Desires that are not centered on Christ lead to destructive behaviors that harm us physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually.  

But when I -R E M E M B E R- I'm wrong I can  humbly bring my thoughts to be renewed by the Word of God.  He is the truth that rescues me from myself. 

About the plan I'm walking into: 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

-Jeremiah 29:11

About the impossible obstacle in front of me: 

"I will be with you when you pass through the waters, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. You will not be scorched when you walk through the fire, and the flame will not burn you"

-Isaiah 43:2 

When I begin to fearing losing or missing out on something:

"Don't be afraid, little flock, because your Father delights to give you the kingdom"

-Luke 12:32

When physical pain hits:

"For it has been given to you on Christ's behalf not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for Him,"

-Philippians 1:29

When I forget what love looks like and if that's what I'm showing to my friends:

"This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers"

-1 John 3:16

"No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends."

-John 15:13

When I lose hope in myself:

"Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Savior and my God."

-Psalm 43:5

When I can't feel God near me:

"And remember, 

I am with you always, 

to the end of the age."

-Matthew 28:20b

When I forget who God is: 

"Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen."

When I feel like there is no justice:

"Therefore, this is what the LORD says: I am about to plead your case and take vengeance on your behalf; I will dry up her sea and make her fountain run dry."

-Jeremiah 51:36

When I'm feeling weak as heck!:

"But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me."

-2 Corinthians 12:9

When I lose my way and think that God has abandoned me because things are so bad:

“And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. 

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.”

-Isaiah 30:20-21

When I forget just how much God gave up for me and that He is holding back good things from me:

"He did not even spare His own Son but offered Him up for us all; how will He not also with Him grant us everything?"

-Romans 8:32 

 When I get confused by what I hear/see/feel about who I am or what my circumstances mean: 

"Absolutely not! God must be true, even if everyone is a liar, as it is written: That You may be justified in Your words and triumph when You judge."

-Romans 3:4

All I do is win.  

When I'm unsure about taking on a new thing or taking a risk:

"so My word that comes from My mouth will not return to Me empty, but it will accomplish what I please and will prosper in what I send it to do." 

-Isaiah 55:11

It's all God!  He is sovereign and whatever I do will be His will being done as I only commit my ways to Him.  Through and through. 

So many good words of truth in the Word.  It's my food.  My breath of life again and again.  My resurrecting love.  

Sometimes we forget.

Actually everyday we forget. 

We are always receiving grace for our forgetfulness! 

But these truths bring us life.

They remind us: -R E M E M B E R-

When what you know in your head and what your actions reveal to be in your heart don't seem to match up, that's when we are being called to remember.  

I often pray this prayer: 

"God, what's going on in my heart?"

Then I open up every ugly thought and let Him show me what's beneath the anger or the busyness or the exhaustion or the boredom or the anxiety or the fear.

Then I pray:

"Remind me of the truth."

Because it is written: 

"When the Spirit of truth comes, 

He will guide you into all the truth. 

For He will not speak on His own, 

but He will speak whatever He hears. 

He will also declare to you 

what is to come."

-John 16:13 

Prayer is a pause to remember the truth, without which we live a lie.  If we are forgetful then prayer must be just as habitual as thinking.  

Jmegrey 

Christ-centered clarity

Christ-centered clarity:

Last night I had a dream that I was trapped in darkness, in my dream I reached for my phone for light but it wouldn't turn on and I had nothing.  The darkness felt so scary and lonely. 

I ran to find someone to be with me, to be a source of comfort for me, but the person I found was a person who was stuck in a nightmare of their own.  The person was half awake and half dreaming like myself and I was shouting for that person to wake up saying it was me, because that person was someone I was close to but that person couldn't hear me.  Instead, that person was trying to hurt me because that person was stuck in a nightmare too and thought I was trying to hurt them.  It was the weirdest thing, but I woke up (for real) and I began to pray.  When I woke up my body was so tired, but my mind was a violent storm making it impossible for me to fall asleep despite the weight of exhaustion heavy on my body and eyes.  So with whatever physical ability I had, which was so little, I prayed for God to help me in the name of Jesus.  I prayed for God to help me fall asleep in the name of Jesus, to calm the storm in my head, the violence in my spirit, and He did.  But before He did He spoke to me. 

I was so scared because in my dream the person I went to for safety and comfort became the killer, but I realized oftentimes when we are stuck in our own self-centeredness we don't mean to hurt others but we do because when Jesus is not at the center of our lives then destruction is automatically at the center because people are all then trying to take and take from other people.  When we live self-centered lives we, too, become hurting machines, expecting things from other people that only God can give us, stuck in our dark sleep state expecting other dark sleep-stated people to give us what they can't!  They are trying to take from us to help them but we are trying to get from them and two negatives do not make a positive.  We destroy each other unintentionally. 

I think I dreamt this because the night before I got so upset and hurt by my close friend.  God reminded me that if my friend (or any person for that matter) is not living a Christ-centered life then they are stuck in a sleep state of self-centeredness.  

I will never find comfort or safety in another person stuck in a nightmare of their own.  Only in Christ.  When we are all Christ for one another we can be a source of comfort and safety for one another, but we ourselves need Christ at the center of our own lives first.  What I needed to do was see that I needed to find my security in Christ again, and not blame my friend who could be stuck in a sleep state of their own and unable to wake up let alone provide for me what I could only find in Christ.  

I needed to wake up from my self-centeredness first.  Press into my source of Life which is Christ and then I could help my friend only by giving them Christ through my actions and words.  Treat them the way Christ has treated me, give them what Christ gave me.  Compassion.  Forgiveness. Grace. Unconditional love.  Mercy.  My life. 

The ones who are awake can help others, but when we are ourselves are stuck in our own self-centeredness we are like sleeping zombies.  Let's wake up so that we can give Christ to others instead of take and expect things from them....we won't find what we are looking for in another zombie if we continue to be zombies ourselves.  We will end up hurting one another over and over.  What we can do is wake up and realize that our help comes from God alone--our comfort, our love, our acceptance, our hope, and our life comes from God at the center of it all.  When we wake up we can then begin to help others wake up too and point them to the source of life, Jesus.  

I'm just a fellow woken-zombie bringing Christ to my fellow sleeping zombies; the only One who is able to wake them up and bring them back to life.  Not I, but Christ. 

Jesus is the only way, truth, and life. 

We come as we are because Christ knows our deepest darkest secrets.  We are like the Samaritan woman at the well who meets with Jesus and is exposed for everything she has done and tried to hide.  Jesus calls out her promiscuity or whatever shame it is that makes her lie about not having a husband, and He gives her the truth.  She starts to question Jesus about whether He is greater than Jacob, the man of God, and Jesus is like "Yep, yes, I am."  

Haha.  

Because He is God.  

None is greater than God Himself.  

 

“You aren’t greater than our father Jacob, are You? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and livestock.” 

Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again.  (When we try to find life in anything or anyone other than God we will end up thirsty again, eventually.) 

But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again — ever! In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up within him for eternal life.”

John 4:12-14

Let's wake up and give Christ to one another today, the only source of true life.  This is indeed the truth, and the only way.  

I was gently given the truth again to wake up from my self-centered life and put Jesus at the center of it all.  That is to have life everlasting.  Any other person or thing at the center of my life is eventually going to run out, and when it runs out it means the end of life: destruction.

"Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

-John 14:6 

Let's not remain zombies, but Christ is able to wake us up and live.  

To Him be all the glory and honor forever and ever, Amen. 

Jmegrey 

Sometimes I hate to think, but I do it.

I can't think or I don't want to think or I have no energy to think or I find it annoying to think.  

But I must think for that is all I have...to move on.  He won't let me give up. 

"What the heck" and a feeling of deep sorrow are my only two companions tonight.  For my sin, for my hurt, for my heart--a mixture of self-loathing and confusion and being hurt by others.  Being hurt by God. 

I'm floating away on a piece of driftwood into seemingly placid waters.  I see the fog of apathy creeping up on me, telling me that it will numb the hole in my soul.  Filling the brokenness with vapid thick air.  Cooing me to come and sit down in the nothingness of it all where nothing matters.  No point will mean no pain.  But no point will mean no plan, and no plan will mean no person.  I am called into the lie of being destroyed.  I cannot drift into that.  So I paddle back, away from the siren's song, with steady movements I fight the urge to forget the pain.  If the pain will mean a plan then it means I'm a person.  I matter.  When people stop having a point they lose their identity, people without a plan mean they don't really exist.  They're merely shells waiting to expire.  But I have a soul in me, I feel the plan like an ember, true as the pain.  

How many times have I asked:

"Where are You God?"  

The pain means I'm a person and there's a plan.  Without the pain there would be no love.

How was it in paradise?  Did Adam and Eve know love from having been dust and brought to life all of sudden by God's breath?  Were they aware of who or what they were before God breathed life into them?  Did they wonder ....who God was?  

How did they know Jesus?  Was Jesus the Word spoken to them by the Spirit telling them who God was?  The way He does for us now....?  How did they know God? 

They were human.  They probably didn't know much.  They were naked and unashamed. That's more human than what we know now...and Jesus came and He was unashamed, albeit clothed because of the world.  Maybe knowing right from wrong was not such an important part about being human, maybe it was walking with God and being loved by Him that made humans really human.  Completely naked with God, secure and sinless.  

Jesus restored what was broken by the fall of mankind.  He gave us that freedom again...to be sinless and naked before God, beloved again.  He gave us our humanity back.  

I did it.

The ugly truth about me.

Next to the beautiful truth about Jesus. 

The two intertwine like vines and branches.  

I am the recipient at all times because of who I am in Christ. 

I didn't do it. 

The ugly truth about me.

The beautiful truth about Jesus. 

The two truths open my eyes to unfathomable grace in new unfathomable ways! Haha 

I'll praise Him. 

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, 

and why are you in turmoil within me? 

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, 

my salvation."

-Psalm 42:5

Whether in much or in need I will praise Him.  In all circumstances, postures, and in every moment I am always a recipient of His love and shown amazing grace.  

You are always with me. 

Thank You Jesus for what You've given me.

 Spirit lead me out of my grievous ways into Your ways which are higher than my own.  Help me walk in the humility of knowing myself for who I am in order to walk in the glory of who God is!  

Father, speak.  

Hold me. 

Remind me.

Put me to sleep.

Sing Your song over me. 

Show me Your glory.

Bring me back from the drift.

Rescue me.

Renew my strength.

Refill my heart with Your Word.

Restore unto me the joy of my salvation.

Let me not live another second without You closer and closer. 

If tomorrow I go blind I would cry.

If tomorrow my life be found to be on edge I would cry.

If tomorrow I lost a loved one I would cry.

If tomorrow the world hated me I would cry. 

If tomorrow my friend left me I would cry.

If tomorrow I lost something good I would cry. 

The future holds much to bring me pain. 

But pain reminds me that there is a plan because we are having our humanity placed back on us by blood of another person.  

Pain is necessary for us to know truth.  

Knowing right from wrong is pain, 

but Christ is truth.  

We live with both, 

Jmegrey