Hosea (a brief moment with the Word)

“Promiscuity, wine, and new wine take away one’s understanding. My people consult their wooden idols, and their divining rods inform them. For a spirit of promiscuity leads them astray; they act promiscuously in disobedience to their God.

Ephraim is attached to idols; leave him alone!”

Hosea 4:11-12, 17

(This is still happening today, but what are the things you and I put our desires in?  What are your "wooden idols" that inform you of whether something is right or wrong?  Is it the presence of money, beauty, or comfort?  Where have these things taken you...have they brought you understanding of God or understanding of their own power in themselves?)

“Their actions do not allow them to return to their God, for a spirit of promiscuity is among them, and they do not know the Lord.

Ephraim will become a desolation on the day of punishment; I announce what is certain among the tribes of Israel.

(God will have the last word for what is certain about any given circumstance.) 

Ephraim is oppressed, crushed in judgment, for he is determined to follow what is worthless.”

Hosea 5:4, 9, 11

(What is worth our time and energy and money?  Is it God or is it whatever else we use it for?  How much time do we spend on God and how much money and energy do we spend on Him being praised?  Do we offer up our thanks with our money and energy or do we do things from obligation or routine or duty?  For us to follow God it must come from Him being worthy, and this means there is a sense of gain from giving to Him whatever He first gives us (time, energy, money, good looks, etc.  How might we give God our good looks, you might ask?  By giving our physical images in praise of Him and not for praise of others.  We delight in our physical makeup by thanking God for His craftsmanship, not by indulging in the praise of men or by worrying that we will lose some measure of our worth in beauty.  If it is for God and to God, like money or time, then it can be spent all on God.  You are beautiful for the purpose of praising God, not for the purpose of being praised.  When beauty takes a turn away from that purpose of praising God it turns into idolatry, which in turn becomes decay and death.). 

“Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, and He will heal us; He has wounded us, and He will bind up our wounds. He will revive us after two days, and on the third day He will raise us up so we can live in His presence. 

Let us strive to know the Lord. His appearance is as sure as the dawn. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring showers that water the land.”

Hosea 6:1-3

(We can return to God even after we have for so long indulged ourselves with our idols, even to the point of utter darkness and resentment.  This breach of decay is a gift from God to those that realize that we can return to Him that heals and restored to us the treasures of eternal life and glory!  Not a bad bargain at all considering that you trade in your decay for His glorious life!)

“What am I going to do with you, Ephraim? What am I going to do with you, Judah? Your loyalty is like the morning mist and like the early dew that vanishes.

For I desire loyalty and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Hosea 6:4, 6

(No matter what we do it is our hearts that God sees most clearly.  No amount of crying or repenting or confessing or giving will be able to cover the true state of our inner being.  God desires for us to know Him and to remain faithful to Him through every difficult season, not because it is easy and painless, but because we know how good and true and powerful He is, He that loves us with the same love that gave up His one and only Son to die for us.  Can we be faithful to that God in the midst of our most trying moments?) 

“They do not cry to Me from their hearts; rather, they wail on their beds. They slash themselves for grain and new wine; they turn away from Me.”

Hosea 7:14

(At the core of our anguish, what is it that we want?  Are the tears we shed for things we've lost or have yet to obtain (money, marriage, health, etc) or are they shed for God to heal us of such inferior desires compared to Him?  Have our hearts acknowledged that we need His help to help our unbelief?)

“They have installed kings, but not through Me. They have appointed leaders, but without My approval. They make their silver and gold into idols for themselves for their own destruction.

For they have gone up to Assyria like a wild donkey going off on its own. Ephraim has paid for love.

When Ephraim multiplied his altars for sin, they became his altars for sinning.”

Hosea 8:4, 9, 11

(This portion reminds me that we cannot fasten for ourselves any certainty, but that we remain constantly clinging to God who makes known to us the paths of life.  You can do this or that thinking it will help you, but if it was not from God it will be useless.  This is our reason to recognize our true state, that we are all beggars and weaklings in need of God to do for us what we could never do for ourselves.  Utterly dependent.  No amount of money or serving or actions could reward to us the faith needed to be kept, but even our good deeds become our miserable sins, or even become our own destruction unless God is directing us.  In this way, we remain humbled, and never too zealous that we know what to do, but that by grace what we end up doing is a gift from God.)

“Their hearts are devious; now they must bear their guilt. The Lord will break down their altars and demolish their sacred pillars.

Samaria’s king will disappear like foam on the surface of the water.

Sow righteousness for yourselves and reap faithful love; break up your unplowed ground. It is time to seek the Lord until He comes and sends righteousness on you like the rain. You have plowed wickedness and reaped injustice; you have eaten the fruit of lies. Because you have trusted in your own way and in your large number of soldiers,”

Hosea 10:2, 7, 12-13

(Soon enough our empires will crumble and vanish like foam on the seas, and all that will be left was the portion of our meager souls that clung to God and His promises.)

“It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them in My arms, but they never knew that I healed them. I led them with human cords, with ropes of love. To them I was like one who eases the yoke from their jaws; I bent down to give them food.

How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I surrender you, Israel? How can I make you like Admah? How can I treat you like Zeboiim? I have had a change of heart; My compassion is stirred! I will not vent the full fury of My anger; I will not turn back to destroy Ephraim. For I am God and not man, the Holy One among you; I will not come in rage. They will follow the Lord; He will roar like a lion. When He roars, His children will come trembling from the west. They will be roused like birds from Egypt and like doves from the land of Assyria. Then I will settle them in their homes. This is the Lord’s declaration.”

Hosea 11:3-4, 8-11

(This is the Lord's declaration, His unfailing Word, His truth that nothing can come up against:  his compassion is stirred! He is the healer, the feeder, the right teacher, and the one who settles us in our home.  It is Him who does all these things, as it is written.  To believe otherwise or to remain ignorant of these truths, that it was not God who gave us every good thing is to go up against His declaration.)

“But you must return to your God. Maintain love and justice, and always put your hope in God.”

Hosea 12:6

(We must return.  We must return, for we have all fallen away like sheep, but we must return.)

“Therefore, they will be like the morning mist, like the early dew that vanishes, like chaff blown from a threshing floor, or like smoke from a window.

I knew you in the wilderness, in the land of drought. When they had pasture, they became satisfied; they were satisfied, and their hearts became proud. Therefore they forgot Me.

I will attack them like a bear robbed of her cubs and tear open the rib cage over their hearts. I will devour them there like a lioness, like a wild beast that would rip them open.”

Hosea 13:3, 5-6, 8

(The necessary judgment of God is that sin is atrocious to Him for His holiness cannot suffer to be defamed by it.  All darkness and all sin experience death in the presence of the True God.  Whatever sin we carried will be necessarily and violently ripped from our bodies because it defies the glory of the Lord!)

“I will heal their apostasy; I will freely love them, for My anger will have turned from him.

Let whoever is wise understand these things, and whoever is insightful recognize them. 

For the ways of the Lord are right, 

and the righteous walk in them, 

but the rebellious stumble in them.”

Hosea 14:4, 9

(Amen and amen.) 

Jmegrey 

So good!

So good!

I really shouldn't be blogging right now because I have a pile of reading and reports accumulating on my lap (sigh....I still love the reading haha) but this morning I was sending the youth students a word from God's Word along with a note of encouragement and I looked back at the entire chapter I was reading from.  It.  Was.  So.  Good. 

“Therefore, 

leaving the elementary message 

(or basics)

about the Messiah, 

let us go on to maturity, 

(apart from basics)

not laying again the foundation of 

(the following are the basics that should already be established in order to move into maturity):

repentance from dead works, 

faith in God, 

teaching about ritual washings, 

laying on of hands, 

the resurrection of the dead, 

and eternal judgment. 

And we will do this if God permits."

(If you're at a place where the above is in need of re-learning, then ask God if you need the basics again.  You might not, but if you do then be sure to ask God if that's really what you need.  If we stay at the basics because we feel more humble about that then it's crap.  We must return to the basics ONLY if God gives us permission to, otherwise we move on to maturity in Him.  Our actions in our relationship with God must be one of submission, not assumptions.)

"For God is not unjust; 

He will not forget your work 

and the love you showed 

for His name 

when you served the saints — 

and you continue to serve them."

(Notice here that this isn't just saying that God will remember how you served others.  This is NOT about serving others.  This is about God.  It's always about God.  It says "the love you showed for His name when you served". In other words, this is not about how much serving you did, but how much love you had for Him that overflowed into your actions.  The thing God will not forget is your heart.  That you truly loved His name so much that it burst into the action of any opportunity you had to show it.  He will not remember you serving others without this.  So why serve if it's from anything but love for His name?  It's your heart, not the actions, that counts.  Then again, be submitting to God as the final decision.  What does He want and what is His will for you today?  That is the deciding factor in all things, which you can't know unless you ask Him.) 

"Now we want each of you 

to demonstrate the same diligence 

for the final realization of your hope, 

so that you won’t become lazy 

but will be imitators of those 

who inherit the promises 

through faith and perseverance."

(The same diligence is that diligence you had at the time of learning the basics.  Always going back to praying for faith, repenting, being at the cross, and believing that you have been saved from the pits you once lived in.  Here is reminding us to, with that same diligence, move into maturity which is explained as the final realization of your hope.  Do you realize the final hope you have?  Is it yours?  What is your final hope?  How would you word it?  If you can't word your final hope, it indicates that you probably have not fully realized what it is or that it is yours!  This final hope is our defense against laziness, it is what inclines us more strongly toward making decisions and actions based on faith and perseverance rather than impulse or circumstances.  What is your final hope, and if it is not enough to bring you up from laziness or toward faith and perseverance, I would firmly encourage you to ask God if your final hope is the one He gave you.  Be willing to be corrected for the sake of having the real thing!  This hope is crucial, so if it's been false or weak this entire time then who cares about the time you wasted in holding onto a false hope, better to let go and receive true hope because this hope is like the fuel to your body motor.  If you're running on fumes your body will stop and get stuck.  You need the hope the fuels you and your body to run this race with perseverance!  This hope is what God alone gives us, and it's right there in our reach if we will truly seek it!) 

"Because God wanted to show 

His unchangeable purpose 

even more clearly 

to the heirs of the promise, 

He guaranteed it with an oath, 

so that through two unchangeable things, 

in which it is impossible for God to lie, 

we who have fled for refuge 

might have strong encouragement 

to seize the hope set before us."

(God wants to show us.  Here is one instance where it's not so much about faith, or seeing the unseen, but it's about being shown God's unchangeable purpose.  This means that what He shows us is a certainty, for sure, without any changes now or in the future, it is set in eternity.  We have this shown to us more clearly when we know our hope.  Two unchangeable things: God's purposes and Himself (or His nature).  In other words, heirs of the promise flee to Him for refuge away from life's cruelty and distortions geared towards self-sufficiency or idolatry, and in there we seize the hope more firmly.  It is there that we find what our hearts are truly seeking.  You will be most encouraged to find hope here, in His presence, you must flee to refuge.  Just like how dark clouds bring about a more sure disposition for rain, fleeing for refuge as heirs to God's promises bring about a stronger disposition to grasp the true hope.  If you're holding a false hope you will soon find out, because it will not be enough for you to continue on toward the gift of life you have been given.  You may become begrudgingly dissatisfied or numb or apathetic about life.  You need true hope, the hope that only God can give you, and that you cannot give to yourself by any means or convincing thoughts.  You flee for refuge when you need to.  For there in the safe and secure place, protected and at rest, is the Father who will give you the hope you need that keeps you living--and not just living like a dead person, but living as someone so loved and cherished....to know with increasing certainty that someone is crazy in love with you.  I came across this psalm distinguishing the one who flees for refuge and the one who does not:

“Here is the man who would 

not make God his refuge, 

but trusted in 

the abundance of his riches, 

taking refuge in his destructive behavior.” 

But I am like a flourishing olive tree 

in the house of God; 

I trust in God’s faithful love 

forever and ever.”

Psalms 52:7-8

Are you like a flourishing tree or are you trusting in what you accomplish or have in possession?  At first they might appear to be the same, to flourish might look and feel like you are comfortably lavished in good things, but upon closer inspection the one who does not run to refuge is the one who relies on the comfort of things and circumstance which, when disrupted or threatened, is combatted by destructive behaviors.  The one who runs to refuge with God is trusting just on bare naked love.  Love that needs no proof in gifts or persuasions.  This person is like that one Justin Bieber song "as long as you love me" where it doesn't matter if they have to be hobos or if he gets beat up by the girl's dad, or anything else, he's willing to die for this girl based on this bare pure love!  Haha I saw the video recently and it just came to mind, but this is a glimpse of that love we all desire!  The only thing is that no girl or guy can give us what only God can.  When we flee to refuge we flee to this kind of love, and when we do it is enough.)

"We have this hope 

as an anchor for our lives, 

safe and secure."

(Without this hope we are like a ship tossed by the waves of the sea.  Without this anchor we are neither here nor there, but our disposition will be based on wherever the wind of circumstances blows us!  Our feelings and our temperaments rule our security when we live without this anchor of hope.  But we have this hope!  It is like an anchor for our entire lives, each hour and every day it is our stability and grounds us to what we know is safe, secure and unchangeable!  This hope is safe and secure, not doubtful and self-condemning.  This hope is our moving into maturity.) 

"It enters the inner sanctuary 

behind the curtain."

(This hope enters our soul, behind the layers of our body, our thoughts, and our assumptions.  This hope enters into the core of our identity.  This hope is at the root of who we are, our inner sacred place where only we have access to.  The truth about who we are and why we do what we do lays in this place.  This inner sanctuary is our true identity.  Hope enters into here, and a good question might be...but how?  How does hope get in there or how do we open our inner sanctuary to this hope?  What do we need to do to get this hope in there?  Is this hope a feeling or God's voice or the Spirit?  What exactly is taking place for hope to enter the inner sanctuary of our self?)

"Jesus has entered there 

on our behalf 

as a forerunner, because 

He has become a high priest 

forever 

in the order of Melchizedek.”

Hebrews 6:1-3, 10-12, 17-20

(As mentioned earlier, we can't give ourselves this hope that is so crucial.  Jesus has entered there, on our behalf, and he stays there forever making atonement for our sins whenever we need because He enters into our hearts as our priest forever.  Forever.  Meaning, anytime the Israelites sinned in the Old Testament they would go to the priest and have a sacrifice offered on their behalf to be made clean, otherwise they would be dirty and unfit for the community and for God.  This was something that God implemented in order to show the real thing!  All those priests and animal sacrifices were only styrofoam examples of the real thing!   They were models built by the Architect before the actual Priest and the actual sacrifice of atonement would be revealed!  This is Jesus.  He enters into our inner core sanctuary and gives us this hope.  What is this hope?....you receive it when you get it from Jesus.)

“(for the law perfected nothing), 

but a better hope is introduced, 

through which we draw near to God.

but He became a priest 

with an oath 

made by the One who said to Him: 

The Lord has sworn, 

and He will not change His mind, 

You are a priest forever. 

So Jesus has also become 

the guarantee of a better covenant.

But because He remains forever, 

He holds His priesthood permanently. Therefore, He is always able to save those who come to God through Him, 

since He always lives to intercede for them.”

Hebrews 7:19, 21-22, 24-25

Jmegrey 

So good. 

The spiritual discipline of Resting.

All about resting in Him

Desire:

to honor God and my human limitations 

through restful rhythms

Definition:

Entering into rest depends on honoring our God-given limits. By paying attention to the physical, mental and spiritual needs of the body, we learn when and how to rest.

Passage:

"Let the beloved of the LORD 

rest secure in him, 

for he shields him all day long, 

and the one the LORD loves 

rests between his shoulders.” 

-Deuteronomy 33:12

Lack of rest or burning out both ends of the candle, spiritually and physically, can lead one to:

1. lose sight of what we enjoy in our work

2. find even the things we enjoy doing become a chore 

3. fail to give people the gift of our attention and presence 

4. impair our ability to hear God’s voice and discern his movement in our lives 

5. become obsessive about the to-do list 

6. lose touch with the human limits that are meant to keep us in touch with God

Practice:

1. setting aside unhurried time to rest and be refreshed rather than work

2. Invite God in some Restful activities: cat nap, curling up on the couch to listen to music, taking a casual walk outside, having coffee or ice cream with a friend. 

Fruit: 

1. Keep company with Jesus and who He is, and avoid being a "busybody"

2. honoring the way God created you by living a healthy and intentionally rested life

3. Restore truth during Rest:  freedom from the compulsion to take your identity from what you do

4. take time to delight in God, family, the seasons, meals and all good gifts of creation*

*from the "spiritual disciplines handbook" by Adele Calhoun, pg 63-65)

From a biblical perspective, I found that as I sought God's Word to more fully unwrap what rest really does for us, I found the following definitions shown to me through different passages. 

Rest is presenting yourself to God.  

Rest is "here I am God, above the noise and the demands of people and the expectations I have put on myself to be this or be that, casting all of that aside, here I am, I lay upon the alter in surrender, nothing to lose, and everything to gain.  I rest.  

“Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.”

Romans 12:1-2

Rest is easy. 

Rest is going to Big Father, King Daddy, who is in charge of all, to securely nuzzle in between His shoulders as a beloved who belongs with Him where nothing can touch you. 

"Let the beloved of the LORD 

rest secure in him, 

for he shields him all day long, 

and the one the LORD loves 

rests between his shoulders.” 

-Deuteronomy 33:12

Rest is giving over your work or letting go completely. 

You take a moment to hand over control to God while you just let go.  

My cross country drive to Nashville with my friend took 29 hours, but we took turns driving and resting.  It's not that we weren't getting anywhere when we did that, even though one of us was resting, it was that the other person took the wheel and kept us going, not only kept us going but gave the other time to refuel and restore the energy needed to continue the rest of the way.  

When we rest fully in God, it's about the work still getting done, but now you're taking a freebie moment while God shifts into gear.  Now, the reality is that God is always working for your good (never shifting "out of gears") and eventually we will see that even while working we are actually resting!  So that work becomes rest!  Later I'll unpack more on that. 

For now, we must first learn and experientially grasp what rest truly looks and feels like for us as individuals.  We invite God to teach us how to rest by bringing Him into our discipline of intentionally taking rest as a way of remembering who is in control.  

Rest is a need.

"My soul finds rest in God alone.” 

-Psalm 62:1

Rest is needing God to take care of you. 

Needing a break.

A pause. 

A moment to catch your breath and just be still. 

The pressures off when you are resting in Him. 

Rest is genuine. 

“Love must be without hypocrisy."

Romans 12:9

In God, there is no hypocrisy or fake pretense.  There is just fully known, fully accepted rest that you take.. As you practice this discipline of resting, remember to watch out for traces of hypocrisy that might try and steal from your time in His love.  There is no fear in love, because perfect love casts that all out.  Where there is no fear in love, there is real rest. 

“For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out His good purpose.”

Philippians 2:13

Rest is holy. 

“By the seventh day 

God completed His work that He had done, 

and He rested 

on the seventh day from all His work 

that He had done. 

God blessed the seventh day and 

declared it holy, for on it He rested 

from His work of creation.”

Genesis 2:2-3

Rest and work go together. 

"Work! For I am with you” — the declaration of the Lord of Hosts. 

“This is the promise I made to you when you came out of Egypt, and My Spirit is present among you; don’t be afraid.” 

For the Lord of Hosts says this: 

“Once more, in a little while, I am going to shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all the nations so that the treasures of all the nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory,” says the Lord of Hosts. 

"The silver and gold belong to Me” — this is the declaration of the Lord of Hosts. 

"The final glory of this house will be greater than the first,” says the Lord of Hosts. 

"I will provide peace in this place” — this is the declaration of the Lord of Hosts.”

Haggai 2:3-9

Rest is remembering God. 

“Be at rest once more, 

O my soul, 

for the LORD has been good to you.” 

-Psalm 116:7

Rest is threatened:

“The Rabshakeh said to them, “Tell Hezekiah: The great king, the king of Assyria, says this: What are you relying on?

Suppose you say to me, ‘We trust in the Lord our God.’ Isn’t He the One whose high places and altars Hezekiah has removed, saying to Judah and Jerusalem, ‘You are to worship at this altar’?

But the Rabshakeh replied, “Has my master sent me to speak these words to your master and to you, and not to the men who are sitting on the wall, who are destined with you to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine? ” Then the Rabshakeh stood and called out loudly in Hebrew: Listen to the words of the great king, the king of Assyria! This is what the king says: “Don’t let Hezekiah deceive you, for he cannot deliver you. Don’t let Hezekiah persuade you to trust in the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord will certainly deliver us! This city will not be handed over to the king of Assyria.’ ” Don’t listen to Hezekiah, for this is what the king of Assyria says: “Make peace with me and surrender to me. Then every one of you may eat from his own vine and his own fig tree and drink water from his own cistern until I come and take you away to a land like your own land — a land of grain and new wine, a land of bread and vineyards. Beware that Hezekiah does not mislead you by saying, ‘The Lord will deliver us.’ Has any one of the gods of the nations delivered his land from the power of the king of Assyria? Where are the gods of Hamath and Arpad? Where are the gods of Sepharvaim? Have they delivered Samaria from my power? Who among all the gods of these lands ever delivered his land from my power? So will the Lord deliver Jerusalem.””

Isaiah 36:4, 7, 12-20

Rest is assurance.

“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; 

you will lie down, and your sleep will be pleasant.

for the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from a snare.”

Proverbs 3:24, 26

True rest brings you to sleep soundly because you're nestled in the arms of a loving and all-powerful Father who neither sleeps nor forgets what is perfectly good in everything He does. 

Rest is sinless and therefore guilt free. 

Rest is done without guilt or a feeling of laziness.  When you find rest in God there is no sin found in you, because if you are resting with God then by definition no sin is able to be in His presence.  You are given free access to sinlessness!  

"My yoke is easy and my burden is light"

-Matthew 11:30

There are two type of evils or burdens: one is internal and the other is external.  To be the one doing evil is an inner type, and the to be the one who has evil done to them is the external type. Both are a burden but which is the weightier evil? 

Which is worse:

Two friends are captured in battle, the torturer tells one man to either beat and kill his friend by a method of excruciating slow torture and agony, his own buddy in combat, his brotherhood, or be killed in that way himself by the executioner.  

We would probably all unanimously agree that for him to choose to kill his brother is the greater evil than for him to decide to take on the punishment himself.  

Rest is guilt free for us in this manner when we consider what Christ did for us, in that He took our sins upon Himself, took our punishment upon Himself so that we would be set free, free to rest assured that our sins are no more.  Therefore, where there are no sins, there is no guilt or condemnation. 

(Since I prepared this for my high school students, here are some of the questions you could also share with a small group)

Discussion:

1. Explain to the group your preference as to what you, as an individual, would consider a day of rest.  

2. Have you ever thought about inviting God into your times of resting? 

3. Which aspect of rest most resonated with you? (Rest is...) what might God be speaking to you through resting? 

Jmegrey 

Unity of the Spirit

Unity of the Spirit

“Therefore I, the prisoner for the Lord, 

urge you to walk worthy of 

the calling you have received, 

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, 

accepting one another in love, 

diligently keeping the unity of the Spirit 

with the peace that binds us. 

There is one body and one Spirit — 

just as you were called to one hope 

at your calling —

one God and Father of all, 

who is above all and through all and in all. 

with a stature 

measured by Christ’s fullness. 

Then we will no longer be little children, 

tossed by the waves 

and blown around by every wind of teaching, 

by human cunning with cleverness 

in the techniques of deceit. 

But speaking the truth in love, 

let us grow in every way 

into Him who is the head — Christ. 

From Him the whole body, 

fitted and knit together 

by every supporting ligament, 

promotes the growth of the body 

for building up itself in love 

by the proper working 

of each individual part.”

Ephesians 4 

Wow.  I mean, I'm no Greek expert, so I can't exegete this passage and compare or contrast the original wording with the English translation (the version I use is the HCSB), but I do know that God speaks when we listen.  

I've been thinking a lot about the unity of the church.  Church as a family.  Most of all I've been thinking about my "calling" and my "individual part" as properly working in the body.  My humanity, and my inherent dignity as an individual that is part of a whole (the church).  I want to function to my optimal ability for the glory of God.  Clearly if there's a proper way to work there must be an improper way to work as well.  

1. Humility, gentleness and patience, accepting one another. 

These are the characteristics of our inner man that Paul refers to when speaking about our calling.  We each have received a calling, and each of us have been given ONE spirit, the Holy Spirit.  So it's as if my body suddenly broke apart into a bunch of different pieces and each part still was a vessel that employed my one spirit.  I didn't suddenly have pieces of separate spirits, even if my body was in pieces, but I would still always remain one spirit.  It's like that with God's Spirit.  He did not suddenly have a pantheon of spirits in us since we are all individual parts, but somehow even though we have spatially separate physical entities, we are joined with One Spirit.  And that one Spirit unites us because the same Spirit that works in me works in every believer, and if we are all living by God's One Spirit then we are all unified in our purpose.  

Humility, gentleness and patience, are ways in which we honor God's Spirit in others.  It is a way in which we bring God glory.  By showing humility and gentleness and patience with one another because the Spirit is in that person!  When we come together, we are not only seeing a person's outer shell, but we are in the presence of God just by being in the presence of His child, for He is in each of His saints in Spirit.  This is why every believer has inherent dignity just by being a believer in Jesus.  

Accepting one another is how we truly believe that God's Spirit is one and the same for every believer.  We don't just accept the people who meet or follow what we say, but we accept them especially when they do not meet or follow what we say just as Christ accepted us in the hopes that our unconditional love given by God will be the power that transforms them into the unity of the same Spirit in us.  This is why it takes humility (being perceived in a way that makes us appear less than), gentleness (to watch our words, body language, and actions as we respond to them), and patience (as we trust in God's Spirit leading us).

2. Furthermore,

"There is one body and one Spirit — "

Although our physical bodies are clearly distinct from one another, there is one body as well.  We unite under One Spirit, and in our coming together we represent one body as well. 

We move together not because of the external work of our bodies in agreement for a task, but from the internal partaking of the same Spirit.  The origin of unity is not in the external actions of trying to appear "unified," but in being unified from a place of inward love for God.  You move together because the Spirit in you is leading you and the others to do so, not because someone tells you to.  This is how we develop a genuine unity in the church.  We must know the Spirit's leading on a personal as well as on a corporate base.  We cannot divide the two.  Too much corporate leading can lead to a loss of one's own personal connection to God and his or her inherent individual dignity and purpose, without which we commit the sin of omission, not stewarding the gifts that God has given to each of us.  Gifts that make us naturally praise Him as we use them for His glory in the body of the church!  However, too much individual leading without corporate help will lead to isolation, narcissism and schism or division in the body of Christ.  If there is truly One Spirit then both the individual and corporate leading will be one and the same.  

3. "Then we will no longer be little children, 

tossed by the waves"

I emphasize the importance of an individual leading at this point because I think the church has a tendency to build on its external actions as a means of proof of "one Spirit" or unity.  The unity, however, is to be found in the hearts of the individuals themselves, expressing a deeper certainty for why they do what they are doing, and how it is more and more of an awesome and joyful honor to do so!  To receive a gift makes the heart of the recipient joyfully thankful, feeling truly loved.  This joy is what helps us discern between what we are doing from an origin of unity in the Spirit or from an origin of external appearances.  

To participate in things at church should be desirable because they are led by the desire of the Spirit in us.  When we don't desire what our church is doing, that is when we must open our hearts to the Spirit and express the truth to one another as we work out what might be causing the division of the body, while maintaining the unity of the Spirit.  But this cannot be done well without humility, gentleness, and patience on both sides.  Accepting one another in love, not in righteousness or being "right", but in love. In being kind, patient, in keeping no record of wrongs and so forth.  Without merely advocating fake fluffy love, but the kind of love that genuinely speaks, acts and listens according to the Spirit not their appearances.  Sometimes this looks bad and sometimes this looks beautiful, but if done in the Spirit it will always lead to unity.  

When the unity is of the Spirit then we will no longer be like little children tossed by waves of confusion and doubt, simply doing for the sake of doing until we no longer have the will to do it anymore!  

"Arguments are good, and dispute is healthy. They clarify the truth and protect us from error and religious despotism. 

When the church discourages principled debates and a free flow of ideas, the result is shallow Christianity and a false sense of unity. 

No one gets any practice learning how to field contrary views in a gracious and productive way. The oneness they share is contrived, not genuine."

-(Gregory Koukl, Tactics)

4. "From Him the whole body, ...by the proper working of each individual part.”

The origin of unity is from Him who has His will for the body as it moves or exists each year (whether in missions or in prayer or in worship), He brings the body together.  We bring our individual self to add to the body, and we have a proper work that fits our individual capacities, abilities and gifts.  There is, then, also an improper way to work as an individual within the body that leads to disunity or a lack of praise to God in our hearts.  We must be genuine and truthful before God in our hearts as well as before the members of His body, the church.  It's difficult because it requires a deepening relationship with God, it risks our appearances shattering, or our image and reputation falling apart for a while, but it also is the way to gain true freedom in walking in a manner worthy of our calling.  Believe that God is for you, even if you don't see that immediately in front of your eyes, and be His presence for another as you put on love both inwardly and outwardly in the unity of the Spirit.  Know the hope you have in Him that far exceeds the hope placed in appearing to have hope.  Haha 

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13

Some practical ways to apply:

1. Take time to sit in silence with God and hand over each of your doubts, fears, and worries to Him to speak over you. 

2. Ask a trusted friend (or 2 or 3) to give you some advice for something you are struggling to discern. 

3. Consider an area where there is disunity or a disconnect between your heart and your actions.  Write down your feelings, both good and bad, and connect your assumptions and expectations behind each feeling.  Identify the meaning of the expectation.  Then bring your meanings to God if they are in need of correction or clarification.  We serve a God who hears us and responds out of love for us, in the similar way that we, with humility, gentleness, and patience are called to hear and respond to one another when things become unclear.  

The unity of Spirit is our reason for the unity of body.  Not the other way around. 

Jmegrey 

Decisions

Decisions.

And the tensions involved in making decisions.

“Grace to you and peace 

from God our Father 

and the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Ephesians 1:2

Mmm.  Grace and peace.  Take a bite of that and let it melt in your mouth and savor it like a piece of smooth chocolate as it spreads across your palette and sinks into bliss as you digest it.   Allow the flavors of grace and the texture of peace to be held by you, they are gifts from God our Father, and from Jesus.  What do grace and peace feel and look like to you?  

I love how Paul always writes "grace and peace" before and at the end of his letters.  They are great reminders of what is true and ours.  Grace is unmerited favor, every sinner's access to God, and peace is that which surpasses our ability to make sense of a situation that we somehow have resolve in.  

So, tonight I want to offer these two gifts to you from God our Father and Jesus our Lord if you will take them and own them as yours.  I do.   I live off of grace and peace everyday, without which I would not be here.  And without which I would never be able to make or own any of my decisions in life. 

Decisions in life face us all the time.  

What to wear?

Which school to apply to?

Where to go?

Who to see?

What to do? 

Which job to pick?

When to move?

Where to start?

Who to marry?

When to have kids/adopt?

Which house to buy?

When to retire?

When to end something? 

And sometimes we have decisions that come with greater tensions, because they feel more important.  Tensions or anxieties or pressure in a decision reveal something about us.  They reveal what's important to us and the implications of making a "wrong" choice that we think are there.  For example, why do we feel tension about deciding which school to go to or which career to choose?  One might say it's because we want to secure our futures, but can we secure our futures?  Who can guarantee that the school or career you choose will be that fulfilling anyway?  Is it the money that tells us so?  The image or reputation that says so?  Your parents?  Tension reveals our expectations.  What do you expect from your decision?  

Okay, I'm gonna take a step back from the analyzing and just let my thoughts flow as in my prayers.  

I've made decisions in the past based on fear, fear of missing out, fear of being rejected or disliked, fear of losing an image I worked to portray, fear of rocking the boat/confrontation, fear of failing, fear of the unknown, fear of being judged, fear of being exposed, and so on.

But as my relationship with God has been nurtured in grace and peace, amidst all my mistakes and weaknesses, I have been learning to make decisions, not based on fear (especially fear of being wrong), but rather, based on grace and peace.  I search for grace in my mistakes, and for the peace that surpasses my reasoning for why I should be okay with a decision.  Sometimes, or most times, there is no reason in the concrete sense of "this will likely lead to this, so it makes sense that I should feel okay"....but instead it's a peace based on God knowing my needs and my weaknesses, and that's it.  He knows me.  Even when everyone else might question me or judge me or even reject me, I find a peace that surpasses my ability to make sense of things because I can love them even when I'm rejected, and yet I can rest assured that my decision is my decision, and not just my decision but a decision that God allowed me to make because He loves me.  

Every decision is mine, and each one is made with God's grace and His peace.  I have been through years of hearing that I'm selfish or that I'm so nice and good, and these "images" put on me by others or my parents or my closest friends have hurt me, matured me, as well as encouraged me, but all of their words to me were never without the power of God's love to me.  He allowed me to hear everything, to be bullied in the 7th grade, to be rejected in 10th grade by a boy, to hear that I'm a quitter or that I sing well or that I'm pretty or fat, all of which have been said in order to bring me to this place of asking God what His image in me truly is.  Not to say that what people say about me is necessarily wrong, but to emphasize that what God says about me is absolutely true.  It is true that at times I am selfish, and people can observe that, but it's also true that God says I am good and righteous because of the blood of His Son shed for me.  To undermine the latter in order to preserve the former is pure ridiculous!  Is it more true that I'm a sinner or that I'm saved?  I am both, yes, but who am I ultimately, eternally?  I am saved, and I don't think so in order that I can sin more, but I say so because God says I am.  I'm just saying God says something, and I believe His Words over anyone else's.  Does that make me feel less guilty about my past sins, yes, does that guilt free feeling convict me to sin more or less?  If you have never tasted God's grace I wouldn't be able to convince you that it gave me the intensity to give up everything in this life to know Him more.  (In other words to sin less.) 

Read the Words of God and realign what you know about the truth about yourself: 

“For He chose us in Him, 

before the foundation of the world, 

to be holy and blameless in His sight. 

In love 

He predestined us 

to be adopted through Jesus Christ 

for Himself, 

according to His favor and will, 

to the praise of His glorious grace 

that He favored us with in the Beloved. 

We have redemption in Him 

through His blood, 

the forgiveness of our trespasses, 

according to the riches 

of His grace 

that He lavished on us 

with all wisdom and understanding.

We have also received an inheritance in Him, 

predestined 

according to the purpose of the One 

who works out everything 

in agreement with the decision of His will, 

so that we 

who had already put our hope in the Messiah 

might bring praise to His glory.”

-Ephesians 1:4-8, 11-12

-----------

 Do your decisions bring praise to His glory?  

Or do they bring tension to yourself?  

What is the tension about in your decision?  

Do you fear that you could be capable of making the wrong decision so that God's plans get thwarted?  

Are you so mighty to stop God from being God?  

My point is that the tension isn't bad, it's just an indication that you are focusing on yourself.  Tension is meaningful if you can let it allow you to open up your heart to God and bring you to a place of receiving grace and peace to the praise of His glory!  At times, God has used my seemingly "wrong" decisions for very great and awesome outcomes.  I was allowed to mess up so that I could taste real grace and be amazed and awed.  I was allowed to isolate myself, a decision that lead to deep loneliness, so that I would be shown the specific need for love and then hunger more and more for it beyond the kind that others could realistically give me, which lead me to want God's love so badly.  So certainly.  So daily.  

I made choices to move to Nashville, to go to theology school, to date a non-Christian, to take a stand against my parents about certain things, to teach the youth group at my church, to let myself be sad until I was drenched in tears, and to become friends or spend time with certain people and not with others.  I made these decisions, and it wasn't about whether they were wrong or right or if they made me a wrong or right person.  They were made in full view of God who loves me so much that He would give His Son to die for me.  Each one of my decisions had a degree of tension prior to my making them, but looking back now I see that all along God was with me in each one guiding me to this place:  this place of seeing and knowing Him who is so good that I cannot help but praise Him!  Regardless of if I fail or if I disappoint others or if I get rejected or if I fall back into my old ways, He is there and His perfect love casts out all my fears.  My decisions become fearless, while my love for God and others abound.  

-----------

I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the glorious Father, 

would give you 

a spirit of wisdom and revelation 

in the knowledge of Him. 

I pray 

that the perception of your mind 

may be enlightened 

so you may know 

what is the hope of His calling, 

what are the glorious riches of His inheritance 

among the saints, 

and what is the immeasurable greatness 

of His power to us who believe, 

according to the working of His vast strength.”

-Ephesians 1:17-19

See Him.

Make your decisions with Him. 

Know His words and the truth about what He says.

Ask Him what the tensions are really about, and know the truth. 

He has called us into hope! 

Do you decide because you have hope? 

Do you believe that He is for you? 

I do. 

This is not about guilt. 

This is about your decisions leading to life. 

I have decided to live, and that means I choose to be in Christ.  My identity is in Him.  

Everything else is a reminder of that.  

No other person has the words of life, 

and I praise Him in my mistakes and in my accolades.  I am always rejoicing in Him, always. 

This joy is something I cannot deny. 

I make my decisions with tension to reveal where I need to be reminded that I am in Him. 

Jmegrey 

About: Who You Are (our Humanity)

You don't have to get any A's.

You don't have to finish graduate school quickly.

You don't have to stay in graduate school at all. 

You are free, so what's going on? 

Who are you disappointing? 

Who are are afraid of? 

What's your ID? 

Inherent Dignity or external achievements?

All the money in the world belongs to God.  Remember that because it's true.

Your body might feel like your last shred of dignity, but what does that imply about your inherent dignity? 

“When all has been heard, 

the conclusion of the matter is: 

fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity.”

Ecclesiastes 12:13

Whatever the present matter at hand is, the conclusion is the same for all humanity.  

Some matters at my hand: 

God,

Should I stay in school, yes and no.

Open a website? For my blog, yes and no. 

Move out? Yes and no. 

Find a job? Yes and no. 

Apply again to SFF? Yes and no. 

Go to another church, no and yes. 

See a therapist, yes and no. 

I can do all of the above because I'm free to just be by being in Jesus.  

----

Have you ever thought about your identity?  What makes you, you?  Do you identify yourself by your job (or lack thereof)?  Do you identity yourself by your reputation given to you by your friends and family?  Or do you have no clue and no care as to having an identity at all?  Who are you?  

Someone else was asked this question in the bible and it's a good way of helping us understand the truth about our identity.  Who are you and what does your identity say about you?  

I want us to imagine for a moment what it was like for this person to be asked this question by all his peers and people of different levels of prestige.  It's not unlike a time when you went to some social gathering (like a party or a meeting) and people started asking you what you do or where you're from.  In fact, the scene I'm about to describe is just like that, so if you can try and place yourself in his shoes as if these people were asking you.  How would you respond? 

“Who are you, then? ” they asked. 

“We need to give an answer to those who sent us.  What can you tell us about yourself? ” 

Now, at this point it's likely that the nerves or filters in our mind begin formulating some kind of acceptable response.  We want to say what we do or what hobbies we have that are interesting or noteworthy, basically we want to put our best foot forward.  These people sound a bit demanding about knowing who we are, saying "we need to give an answer to all our friends who sent us to ask you!  So what can you tell us about yourself?  Their words and tone might make us feel like they're really asking, "What makes you so great that we should want to hear what you have to say?  What makes you worth anything?" It almost sounds like the response we give is going to be kind of permanent so the pressure is on!  We start thinking inwardly about the consequences of what might come out of our mouths.  Will we give a good answer or a weird one?  Will our answer be cool?  What if they don't like what we say or we sound uninteresting to them and consequently to all those people they are then going to report back to?  If under this kind of process we will likely hide the bad and give the good, and everyone's definition of "good/cool" and "bad/lame" is different.  The point is we want to put forth someone that we feel is strong enough to handle how we are then viewed as.  So what did this person in a similar situation say who he was?  

He said, “I am a voice of one crying out in the wilderness: Make straight the way of the Lord — just as Isaiah the prophet said.”

(John 1:22-23)

"A voice crying out" is not exactly a reputable image in our eyes. It sounds weak and pathetic, needy and desperate.  It does NOT sound strong, confident or cool.  It's more weird and odd to be known as that person who cries out loud in the wilderness.  It's not a reputation most are trying to have, but it's the response John gave to all those inquisitive people.  This is not the kind of response that's thinking "how can I look good?" Or "what's the coolest thing I could say?"  This isn't even the opposite of that of him thinking "I'm gonna say I'm the most broken guy" or "how could I sound the most humiliated?"  John's response to everyone asking him "who are you?  What can you tell us about yourself?" is actually quite obscure.  It's not super awesome, but it's not super humiliating either.  It has nothing to do with his reputation or image. 

He said, “I am a voice of one crying out in the wilderness: Make straight the way of the Lord 

It might be perceived by others as a reputation or image (being a weepy whiner or desperate and crazy guy crying out loud all the time), but to John it has nothing to do with looking this way or that.  It's neither so lofty or so debased.  It's obscure....he's just a voice.   He's not thinking about himself, but all his emphasis is on his calling:  "crying out in the wilderness: make straight the way of the Lord". That is his purpose and that is his identity.  To be a voice that prepares the world for the coming of Jesus.  

I was thinking about this, and it's like...what about John?  It's a little sad to think he's just an obscure voice, but is it sad?  It's sad in the context of our reputation to others, but if you think about it, it's actually the greatest calling of all because he announced the Son of God Almighty coming into the world!  I'm sure at the time it was sad and pathetic to them, whereas years after his death it's now reputed as noble and honorable to our eyes.  This guy prepared the way for Jesus our Savior!  What a cool guy!  What an awesome person!  (Although John gets none of this reputation since he's no longer living in the flesh with us.). But the point is, just like John we have a calling, and we can't expect to walk into our calling if we continue to place our identity in the hands of those that demand to know "who are you? And what can you tell us about yourself so that we can tell everyone else?"  

Taking it back to your own situation, imagine you told the people asking you that you were just walking into the calling you felt was placed in your life (whatever that may be), and that you were doing what you were doing because God had so set you free to do so.  What if they found your calling unacceptable?  What would it feel like to hear them question you as if you were crazy?  How much influence to their questions have over you?  Would you shift in confidence at your calling?  Would you start to question your calling?  What did John do when he was questioned about his calling? 

“So they asked him, “Why then do you baptize if you aren’t the Messiah, or Elijah, or the Prophet? ”

John 1:25

Now if this were me, oh man.  I'd be thinking almost immediately, you're right!  Who the heck do I think I am!  Ahhh.  I'm sorry.  I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.  I'm wrong.  I'm bad.  I'm rotten.  But all this would be inwardly happening, while on the outside I'd probably be protecting myself against their darts by saying something witty or self-confident.  I'd try to match their inquiry and criticism with equal and zestier proof of my legit-ness.  I'd pull out my credentials, my successes, my experiences, and my unhurtable attitude.  These suckers won't get the satisfaction of seeing the real me!  They won't accept me then I won't accept them!  I'll beat them at their own game!  Or on the other end, depending on who was asking me, I'd fall apart and apologize and let go of what I thought was my calling.  I'd slip into confusion and self doubt, self-loathing, and insecurities.  Either way, I'd let go of my calling for the sake of preserving something else.  The first doubt in my mind about my calling is all it takes to let it go, to not fully and faithfully believe in its inherent truth.  To doubt is to turn away.  So what about John?  What did he say, and what might that show about what he was maybe thinking? 

“I baptize with water,” John answered them. “Someone stands among you, but you don’t know Him. He is the One coming after me, whose sandal strap I’m not worthy to untie.”

Again, this sounds so far from anyone thinking about his own reputation.  There is no focus or hint of reaction in his words that is about himself, except when he again states that his job is obscure "I baptize with water".  But all his mind and words are directed toward the One who's sandal strap he is not worthy to untie.  He tells them plainly that they don't know Him, but He's really great, so great that he can't even untie His sandal strap, because that would mean getting near to His greatness!  He's not belittling himself but he's merely stating how great the One who is coming is.  There's a difference between humiliating yourself to appear lowly and making someone else the attention and focus of such awesomeness that who you say you are is almost left behind in obscurity again.  Nobody really sees or hears about John, everyone is mostly thinking "who is this One that John is talking about?"  

The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Here is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world! 

This is the One I told you about: ‘After me comes a man who has surpassed me, because He existed before me.’ 

I didn’t know Him, but I came baptizing with water so He might be revealed to Israel.””

John 1:26-27, 29-31

John finally reveals Jesus to everyone, and the remarkable thing is how he says "I didn't know Him, but I came baptizing with water so He might be revealed"

John had told them that asked him earlier that they didn't know Jesus.  And then he places himself with them, by saying I didn't know Him either. In other words, you and me, we are in the same category!  We didn't know Jesus!  

This isn't the kind of thing you'd say if it was coming from a point of wanting to prove yourself.  John can't be thinking, "it's me versus you suckas!"  Or "Do you see!  I was right and you were wrong!"  Otherwise he wouldn't have placed himself with those that questioned him.  He mentions that he told them about this One, but he also says that he didn't know Him either, but that he was walking in his calling so that one day this One might be revealed.  John is all about Jesus.  So you have to wonder how and why he was able to be so self-forgetful.  

I think from this story it reveals that he could do this because he walked in his calling faithfully.  He had a call to be a voice that cried out for people to know that Jesus was coming.  The simple truth that follows this example is that Jesus has come, and not only did he come and ascend back into heaven, but he came and gave each one of us a calling as well.  It's not some secret thing or something we have to find somewhere or ask for.  He already gave it to us.  

“For you were called to this, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in His steps. He did not commit sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth; when He was reviled, He did not revile in return; when He was suffering, He did not threaten but entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly. He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, so that, having died to sins, we might live for righteousness; you have been healed by His wounds. For you were like sheep going astray, but you have now returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.”

1 Peter 2:21-25

Jesus and John walked faithfully in their calling so that another MIGHT gain glory.  John for Jesus, and Jesus for us!  So we, too, are called so that God would be glorified, because that is our calling.  We walk into our calling by first receiving what Jesus walked in His calling to give us.  Salvation, forgiveness, grace and truth.  We must receive that from Him in order to walk into our calling faithfully and undeterred.  To walk fully in our calling as God's freed children, free from the law of sin!  Free from guilt and condemnation, because those kinds of thoughts bring us to doubt and turn away from our calling.  So we are free, and we must live as free based on what Jesus walked in his own calling to give us: freedom. 

John had a calling,

Jesus even had a calling,

And you have a calling. 

In other words, these callings are also synonymous with the will of God.  So we must be with and looking to God to be able to walk in our calling.  We have Christ to look to constantly both to remind us of what He did to give us our calling and to give us our calling.

This is your identity to be in the will of God.  Your inherent dignity was given by Christ having walked in His calling, which was the will of God. 

“For you were called to be free, brothers; 

only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.”

Galatians 5:13

Along the way we will stumble and mess up and fail time after time, but that never takes away what Christ gave you.  Nothing takes away what Christ gave you, and that is the freedom you have as you are now In God's will.  You're set in His love. 

Knowing what goes on inside is a good indication of what will go on outside.  Are you walking in your calling?  Contemplating your thoughts and opening yourself in honesty before the Holy Spirit helps us to see when our bodies are not caught up with our calling.  If your body messes up that doesn't mean you're no longer given what Christ, in His calling, gave you.   It just means you look again to what Christ gave you, and the moment it hits you is the moment you are walking in your calling both bodily and spiritually.  That is your identity, to be in Him at all times.  

Your body will sin and it will cause all kinds of corruptions to happen, because life outside of Christ leads to miserable death.  But life in Him leads to freedom and life.  You are not just who you are by yourself, but you are who you are because it was given to you.  The Creator, our God, gave you a new you, a perfect you, and we can put on the new self in exchange for the old self.  Just. Like. That.  Because Jesus walked in His calling, now we can walk in ours. 

Put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:24) 

There is an old self and there is a new self. 

Which one are you today?  

The new self is your calling.  It has an obscurity to it regarding your "image" or your "rightness", and an emphasis and focus on Jesus.  Cling to God and revel in His will being done. :). It will be done, because He is God. 

That's the conclusion of life, 

Jmegrey 

Let it go (some thoughts)

But sometimes it just feels so heavy.  The overwhelming sensation to just be hopeless. 

Sometimes it's too heavy I hate to fight it because it's like taking a cold shower.  It's easier to slip into my natural hole and ... 

But I have to fight it.

I fight it.

I have to fight for joy. 

I have to fight for love and the truth.

I have to let myself be loved by God because naturally I don't want Him.  My body wants human love and I get the two confused.  What my body wants is not what my soul longs for.  

I have to let go. 

I cannot follow the desires of my spirit and my body.  They are in opposition. 

So I have to fight it, 

But I have to fight it. 

No one else can fight it for you, no one can guarantee that it's your genuine desire, but you. 

You can get answers from all the people you turn to, but they could be wrong.  

You cannot avoid the weight of glory that comes with the weight of freedom. 

You are responsible for the way you go to God for help.  

Do you fight for joy or do you fight for sympathy? 

Life hurts when we think about what we wish we had or when we lay in ignorance of a deep desire smothered inside of us.  

Fighting for joy is not about ignoring your desires, but it's about realizing the deepest desire--not some temporary or imaginary thing.  The deepest human desire is love, but there is no simple answer as to what love is. 

What is love? 

Love is a life for a life, it takes more than 1 to enter into love.  

So if love is the deepest human need, and if love must involve more than one person, then the next question is there a way that something else masquerades as love?  Because clearly we see couples "in love" all the time but it doesn't seem to meet the deepest human need, they keep on needing.  

Love must be something else besides just the appearance of a couple.  Love must be more like a mother.  Or like a friend who gives their life to shield a friend from a bullet.  Love must be self-giving, yet it appears we all look for a love to give us something.  We don't look to give ourselves as much as we look to have something for ourselves.  

It's this part that I'm having a hard time walking in.  Letting go to let love in.  Especially with God. 

Let go of the "what ifs" and "how comes", the I "can'ts" and "whys", the "whens" and the "not yets".  I have to let it all go. And I have to breathe and cry and pray and sit in silence that God would renew my mind and help me break free from the thoughts that imprison me to a sense of hopelessness.  To let go of my perception of certain circumstances.  It's not a trick, but a hold of reality and my ability to give. 

There might be a problem in my life, but that shouldn't be where I fix my focus.  My focus should also look to what is making me think this is a problem in the first place.   What reasons do I have for thinking this is a problem.  Would this still be a problem if some area of my thought process were different so as to make what once was a problem not anymore? 

For example, my friend said she wanted to eat but that it was getting late.  She was implying that her problem was whether she should eat or just try and sleep.  In her case, it was a problem because eating late meant one thing while not eating late meant another.  These meanings were what led her to this "problem".  Meanings and her physical hunger and probably some deeper psychological hum revving at all times were what caused her to feel the strains of her "problem".  But it's the meaning of things that we have an actual ability to contemplate and possibly shift!  We can't tell our bodies when or when not to be hungry and we can't tell when our emotions will be high or low.  We can, however, contemplate the meanings of things.  This is why it's so important that we work with what we actually have some malleability with.   Otherwise, we are blindly letting our circumstances or our bodies or our feelings turn us into whatever happens to them.  Like animals.  But we are not like animals.

We are human.  

We can contemplate and consider meanings. 

I need to contemplate meanings all the time because I love love and I love joy and peace.  I love beauty and truth.  So I have to make sure my meanings are not just happening to me by my body, circumstances or feelings.  I have to know what I've contemplated on my part because I can.  And using contemplation I can sift through the meaningless to get to the meaningful.  And this is where I find my deepest desire to be loved by God, and all at once I see I have what I want most!  And this meaning affects all of my "problems". 

There are particular trends I have found to be my usual pattern, so I'm learning to be more aware of when I'm possibly in need of contemplating a meaning.  

For example, feeling sad is so natural for me, but sadness is not in itself a bad thing.  It's good when it's for truly sad things, but at times I know my sadness can be hiding a distorted meaning.  I've learned that it's easy for me to feel worthless and unlovable because my thoughts project a perfect me that I could never be, only God could be the standard I set for perfection, and I'm only human.  So when I feel sadness coming on without any particular sad reason, I have to contemplate if the meaning is in need of correction.  

I am broken to be sure, until Christ clothes me, then I'm perfect in Him alone.  He is the solution to my deepest needs, my need to be whole. 

He is the only way.  

Jmegrey 

Ps: contemplation is a spiritual discipline :) 

It is:

keeping company with Jesus all the time

It's freedom from a preoccupation with self that keeps you from focusing on others 

living the tensions of life reflectively rather than avoiding them 

relishing your humanness and the beauty of each of your brothers and sisters 

seeing there is more to life than efficiency and productivity 

being patient with life 

being, not just doing 

developing an awareness of the richness of the interior life 

knowing through faith, hope and love, not just the mind

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 

(2 Corinthians 4:18)

See: The Spiritual Disciplines Handbook (Calhoun, A.)