Need: Clarity, Faith, Grace, and Love

“My eager expectation and hope is 

that I will not be ashamed about anything, 

(Pause and let that sink in....

to not be ashamed about anything)

but that now as always, 

with all boldness, 

Christ will be highly honored in my body, 

whether by life or by death.”

Philippians 1:20

It is Christ.  

Christ goes before us and 

Christ comes after us. 

Honor God by not staying in shame, 

Honor God in whatever circumstance you're in,

Honor God because He died to set you free. 

“Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, 

but in humility 

consider others 

as more important than yourselves. 

Everyone should look out 

not only for his own interests, 

but also for the interests of others.”

Philippians 2:3-4

I need to practice this more with the Spirit's empowerment and with intentionality.  To let go of the fear and confusion that hinders me from this.  To let go of legality/law, and operate from grace in this area.  To serve in a Christ-honoring way.  To distinguish between feeling and obedience. 

“Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus,

He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death — 

even to death on a cross.”

Philippians 2:5, 8

“For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out His good purpose.”

Philippians 2:13

“Therefore, welcome him in the Lord 

with all joy and hold men like him in honor, 

because he came close to death 

for the work of Christ, 

risking his life 

to make up what was lacking in your ministry to me.”

Philippians 2:29-30

I am thankful for those who work hard to support the Body when I am not. 

I need:

Clarity

Faith

Grace

Love 

“More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. 

Because of Him I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them filth, so that I may gain Christ”

Philippians 3:8

My one thing remains: Christ. 

“Brothers, I do not consider myself to have taken hold of it. 

But one thing I do: 

Forgetting what is behind 

and reaching forward to what is ahead, 

I pursue as my goal the prize 

promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus. 

Therefore, all who are mature 

should think this way. 

And if you think differently about anything, 

God will reveal this also to you. 

In any case, 

we should live up 

to whatever truth we have attained.”

Philippians 3:13-16

What we have today is what God has given us to proceed boldly--moving forward.  Forget what is behind that may cause shame and move forward with the grace and truth of the Christ. 

--

What does it mean to be an enemy of the cross of Christ?

“For I have often told you, 

and now say again with tears, 

that many live 

as enemies of the cross of Christ.”

Philippians 3:18 

Enemy: noun. someone hated or competed against

To live a life of someone who competes against the cross of Christ. 

How might we compete against the cross?

To live as if we are still in bondage.

To live as if we can still be in shame.

To live in such a way that we deny grace.

The question is, could I be living as an enemy of the cross of Christ?

“Their end is destruction; 

their god is their stomach; 

their glory is in their shame. 

They are focused on earthly things, 

but our citizenship is in heaven, 

from which we also eagerly wait for a Savior, 

the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 3:19-20

Help me Lord not to live as an enemy of the cross.  To not make my stomach my god or to glory in my shame.  To not focus on earthly things, but to fix my eyes on heaven--as my home. 

“He will transform the body of our humble condition into the likeness of His glorious body, by the power that enables Him to subject everything to Himself.”

Philippians 3:21

Boom. 

This condition may be ugly or unfitting in the world, but Christ can and will transform the ugly and unfit into the likeness of His glorious body, because He has been given that power to do so.  He will do so, and our part is to acknowledge that in the humility of our laying down--laying down our trying to not be ugly and unfit in this world. 

Meaning we may at points in our lives feel with intensity an ugliness or unfitting (attached to a feeling of being unlovable) sense of self, but remain in the Word that Christ will transform us into the likeness of His glorious body. 

“I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that once again you renewed your care for me. You were, in fact, concerned about me but lacked the opportunity to show it. I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.”

Philippians 4:10-11

My attitude and the attitude I should consider to be in my brothers and sisters is that of this here, where Paul writes that he is grateful for renewed support, but not because of need.  

"But lacked the opportunity to show it"

Possibly speaks of Paul considering the best of his brothers and sisters at all times, whether they were able to support or not. 

“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ 

be with your spirit.”

Philippians 4:23

Clarity.

Faith.

Grace.

Love.

Amen. 

When your plans fail

I woke up from a really weird dream.  

In my dream it was Friday, the nights I do youth group, and on this particular youth night I wanted everyone to come together for a meeting.  We had just come back from hiking and everyone was really tired, but I had planned to have a meeting for reasons unknown to me when I woke up. 

In the dream everyone was procrastinating to come-even the teachers!  Nobody was getting up, or if they were they were slow tortuous movements conveying dissatisfaction for my having called a meeting.  But I went from room to room calling out and urging them to hurry up and come.  I didn't think it mattered whether or not they wanted to come, I had planned to gather together so gathering we were going to do. 

Finally, when no one was coming I was forced to give up, but I wouldn't show it, I was too laid-back and chill, I'm that girl, so I put on a happy face, and sat back with the rest of them while they all looked at me acceptingly.  But inside I was so hurt which also made me upset, but I didn't show it.  I played it cool.  Instead I decided that I was going to now cancel Friday nights because they didn't seem to be going well (based on one moment).  And a flood of "good reasons" washed up to the forefront of my thoughts that made that choice a "good" choice.  

However, I noticed deep down I waited and wanted people to be sad about that.  While I could be happy that I got my way (cancelling Friday Youth nights), something felt strange.  I had a bunch of "good reasons" for why canceling would be a "good thing" (such as me having more time for my school studying, replacement ideas for fellowship instead of this janky one, etc).  I felt the light and the dark in me.  I tried hard not to see the dark in me, and only the light, the good, but even as I knew the good I also knew it was foul because it wasn't pure light. 

I wanted revenge for the hurt I received when no one was getting up for the meeting I called.  Inside I felt...conflicted. I knew something was distorted in my thinking process, and I had better catch it before I did something stupid. 

I woke up from the dream and I ran the scene through my head again.  I felt off.  Examining the details more and the thoughts I found in myself that were not loving.  I focused in on the darkness more than the "good" parts.  

Here's what God revealed to me:  I had a plan and God had a plan, all I needed to do was recognize that God was saying "change of plans, no meeting." 

That's it.  

I could let God know I felt hurt, because He knows I don't understand everything right away, but who was I to try and force God's plans to obey mine?  That's just unreasonable. Haha I could understand that.  But I wasn't thinking about God or His plans being done in that moment.  I was thinking about my plan in that moment and how it wasn't getting done! 

In the dream I had a plan, the plan even seemed godly because it was for Friday night youth, but I didn't take into account that everyone was tired and probably not interested in meeting at that moment, or that God always sees more than me.  

Because I had a plan. 

I didn't show how hurt I was because that would just look stupid and immature.  I knew that much.

Yet playing it cool wasn't working either because I was passively still going to get my revenge for the hurt I felt.   

Both playing it "fine" and speaking up about my feelings led to nothing good as far as I could see.  Those two things are my usual tools for obedience to God, and this time they both seemed wrong.  So I was stuck.  

That why when I woke up I felt...weird.  

I knew I was wrong, too. 

I just didn't know what to do at that moment when the two things I usually do seemed to only lead to more sin.  In this situation those two tools would not work.  

I was at a loss for words, so I prayed.  

That's when I started to gain understanding. 

God's plan should always override my plans because His plan is always perfect.  He was showing me that through the dream. 

"Many are the plans 

in the mind of a man, 

but it is the purpose of the LORD 

that will stand."

-Proverbs 19:21

When our plans don't seem to be working, realize that God's plan is always working.  

But when we forget that, I repeat, 

WHEN WE FORGET THAT GOD's PLAN ALWAYS WORKING, we start to hurt and get angry inside when the plan we had is not going according to plan! 

How do we know when we are walking in our plan and when we are walking in God's plan?

Great question, and my reply is to look at Proverbs 19:21, Jeremiah 29:11, and Luke 12:32.  Many passages in Scripture remind us that Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed be His Name, His Kingdom come, HIS WILL BE DONE, on earth as it is in Heaven.  

His will is unstoppable.  And as believers we rest in that truth when our plans appear to be failing.  Instead of throwing a fit inside or doing something passive aggressively to make up for what you lost, stop in your tracks and pray that God would search your heart and reveal the offensive ways in you in order to lead you out of them.  Because as I said earlier, once I realized that maybe it was God's plan not to have a meeting despite my plans for wanting one, I would never want to find myself in opposition to God's plans!  But in that moment that wasn't what I was seeing.  I had to stop and pray for that to be shown to me with all the emotions and thoughts crowding my reasoning.  

For me, God's plan should always override my plans.  Because He is good, and it is my Father's good pleasure to give me the highest order of goodness and love.  So to go up against that is just plain unreasonable. 

He is perfect in all of His ways.  

Let His plans override yours, 

and be in His perfect plan today. 

Jmegrey

He loves you in your shame.

The thing about life in time is that it doesn't wait for you to get your crap together...it just keeps happening.  When the soul is hurting the body must still continue doing what it does like work, school, and getting out of bed.  Otherwise, the weight of the world will crush your soul even more and you will find the problems only increasing when you try to demand that life in time stop just for you.  It will not stop unless God makes the sun stand still for you.  He has done it once, but I wouldn't count on that being a normal thing haha. 

Soul care happens while life continues the way it does.  Perhaps we might have the chance to let go of some things to make more space for caring for the soul, but for the most part we suffer daily on the inside and it happens while we need to work, eat a taco, go to the bathroom or sit in a class.  It's like laughing and crying at the same time.  

I feel like I could cry right now, but I know my body needs rest in order to wake up and go to class tomorrow.  I wish I could press pause and collect myself and sort through my thoughts--make it all tidy and organized inside so that outside will also be good...but it's not going to happen.  I'm going to have a lot of mess inside, and that's been hard to face.  I like things clean and organized otherwise I consider it "bad," but the gospel is that we are simultaneously bad and good--sinner and saved.  

So I am bad, but I'm also good.  However, I tend to operate more from being bad rather than from being good.  I end up trying to prove myself, fix myself, or figure myself out rather than believing that I am good enough.  The shame in me, that tells me I am bad, is what makes me so afraid to take risks and feel okay inside.  I don't want to be bad, I want to be good.  I want to believe that I am good and that there is nothing I need to do to earn or maintain it.  I want to be free in the blood shed for me by the Son.   But I'm still operating from my shame.  I still feel how bad I am, and though that helps disengage me from judging others, it puts me in a tar pit by myself.  

I feel it in the smallest moments.  When I fail at doing something well I am shamed, when I sing badly I am shamed, when I quit something I am shamed, when I gain weight or have a pimple I am shamed, when I get a bad grade I am shamed, when I make a mistake or offend someone I am shamed....and the shame is painful.  It's not just what I've done but it's who I am.  Otherwise why would it affect me so much unless it hit the very core part of me...the most vulnerable part of me is the real me.  If the real me is bad then that is painful.  

But the real me is also good, and it's been hard to grasp that.  I know the gospel in my head, but it penetrates my heart like small pin pricks.  Shame is in my heart and it hinders me from receiving the love I so badly want and need.  It's hard to actively believe that I am good enough to be loved as I am when I feel that I am not good.  

So I've been seeking out more truth, and things appear to get worse before they get better...and I doubt if what I'm doing is actually working.  Then I realize that the best I can do is only what I know to be the best I can do.  I am doing the best I can.  I cannot do any better than my best.  So, I continue....and I notice moments of change.  Small moments, but big in my context.  I'm more brave, more loving, and slightly freer.  Those gospel pin pricks are like moments of search and rescue for my lost and hurting soul. 

It's painful.  Pain, pain, pain.  But one moment of real love makes it all worth it.  

To be loved as me.  The real me.  

More and more I believe in being honest and speaking the truth in love.  Be honest and speak the truth in love.  For me that has been revealing my shame (the things about me that I am not proud of), being vulnerable, and getting hurt in the process.  

But if the real you is loved it is worth it to go through all that pain.  

The gospel is that the real you is loved.  

Believe it and walk in it.  

Jmegrey 

When to let go and when to take more

When you're overwhelmed, 

God is ready to take over for you.  

When you can handle it, 

God is ready to hand you more. 

This relationship with God is not about comfort or easiness, it's about growing stronger and more in love with Him.  We are being trained everyday to be citizens worthy of what Jesus died to give us: The Kingdom of God.   

Eyes on the prize.

See a potentially overwhelming responsibility:

“Therefore, when Jesus looked up and noticed a huge crowd coming toward Him, He asked Philip, 

Be convicted by God:

“Where will we buy bread so these people can eat? ” 

Know His heart:

He asked this to test him, for He Himself knew what He was going to do.”

John 6:5-6

Every moment I catch myself asking God "what the?! How am I supposed to......why God?!"

I think of this moment when Jesus pointed out the huge crowds to Philip and asked him, 

"So, what are you going to do about this?" 

Haha. 

My initial response would be: 

"I'm going to freak out, cry and hide."

or if I'm feeling pretty confident I might think 

"I'm going to take care of it with all I have!"

But both of those responses won't do, because Jesus doesn't ask me for the response, but as an invitation. 

Be drawn to His presence today.  

He has invited us into life with Him.  

What you see is there, but what He wants to show you is about to be revealed.  

Stay close to His heart.  He is faithful.  

He is for you. 

Jmegrey 

Devotional morning: My part + God's part

Yesterday I had a mental meltdown where my insides and outsides were not integrated but rather very disintegrated.  What I knew was far from what I felt.  And this chasm loomed before me.  All from the trigger of one paper I need to write for my favorite theology class.  Seriously.  You can laugh, but my soul was on the verge of hell.  Because it wasn't the trigger (the paper) but it was me...the paper was just a small litmus test for the real me exposed.  My thoughts went like this:

Nothing will describe my reality 

of pressure in this moment-- I feel an immense fear of impending doom. It is more than allowing for the idea that  "I may fail the class", because even when I see that truth I also see that that isn't the fear....it's something deeper.

It is so deeply interconnected and integrated with who I am in everything.  It's me...all of me hinging on this on paper, this class, this one decision. 

 

-Shame gripped my eternity, and I could not bear it Lord! Were You there still loving me?-

It was not about failing one class (because I felt utterly unprepared and ill-equipped to write this paper), but it was about my future.  

My ability--my will to choose good over bad for forever.  I could not hold that weight--I could not be good forever or even for one day!  I found myself thinking that one failure was connected to a future of forever failures because if I make one bad decision it means there is something bad in me causing me to make bad decisions.  If in me is good then out of me would flow good, like an apple tree that produces only apples, but if in me is bad then out of me would produce bad.  

I couldn't grasp being a sinner and saved in this moment.  

So the moment I see one bad is the moment I freak out because it means in me is bad!  It's still there!  The fruit or the outcome is before my very eyes!  I am still so bad.  Or the thought of failure in life makes me bad.  But does failure make a sinner unsaved?  It depends...there is a failure that does make us unsaved.  There is a failure that does not make us unsaved.  

"For know and recognize this: 

Every sexually immoral or impure or greedy person, who is an idolater, does not have an inheritance in the kingdom of the Messiah and of God. 

Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for God’s wrath is coming on the disobedient because of these things.”

Ephesians 5:5-6

Failing a paper or a class or school does not fall into the kind of failure that is unsaved.  I am still learning to discern between failure that is allowed and failure that is actually not allowed!  Knowing the difference between one failure and another failure is important because in this life we will fail at things, but one thing we must not fail in is to know Christ and be loved by Him.  Failure on our part is fine, failure to give God His part is not fine.  We will fail, but we must not think He will fail- even while we do! 

It was about me being a really inadequate person with a shameful will, powerless by the years of bad habits and self-sufficiency. 

It may have been like a domino effect like this: 

Fail class

Fail school 

Fail youth ministry 

Fail growing 

Fail at joy and happiness

Enter suffering and pain 

Be forever damaged

Ruined. 

God was nowhere to be found in that thought process. 

--

So this morning I was brought to Ephesians.  The question on my heart was "what is MY PART and what is God's PART?"

“one God and Father of all, 

who is above all 

and through all 

and in all.”

Ephesians 4:6

“From Him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building up itself in love by the proper working of each individual part.”

Ephesians 4:16 

-What is my proper work?  If I begin to fail at something, should I face the possibility that perhaps I was made to work on another thing?  What have You called me to Lord?  I don't want to keep doing what I think I need to do (studying, preaching, leadership, etc) but I want to do what You created me in the One body to do.  Help me see this proper working and to let go of my projects.  Help me to let go of my stupid projects.-

“You took off your former way of life, 

the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires; 

you are being renewed in the spirit of your minds; 

you put on the new self, 

the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.

-I took off--this was my part.  And yes, I feel the sudden presence of my old deceitful desires that tell me if I don't have them I will be ruined!  I take them off in a time like this, but they get back to me, so how do I keep them off?  I am being renewed by You through the spirit of my mind.  My thoughts seem weak in the moment though.  How do I put on the new self when it slips off like water?  I do this--I put ON THE NEW SELF, but how?  Is it as simple as picking Your righteousness up and putting it on as a child would when she receives a gift of a dress?- 

"And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. 

You were sealed by Him for the day of redemption.”

Ephesians 4:22-24, 30

-I feed the Spirit in me, but how? My part is just to not grieve Him, but God has sealed me by Him.  The future is sealed by God, all I do is not grieve Him...so I need to discern between what grieves Him and what does NOT grieve Him.  My failures in school or in the youth ministry might not be grieving Him as they feel to be grieving me, yet my disobedience and anxiety may grieve Him even though they do not grieve me.-

“For know and recognize this: 

Every sexually immoral or impure or greedy person, who is an idolater, does not have an inheritance in the kingdom of the Messiah and of God. 

Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for God’s wrath is coming on the disobedient because of these things.”

Ephesians 5:5-6

-If good rewards are meant to encourage one to obey then bad punishments are meant to keep one from disobeying.  Know and recognize the reward from the punishment.  What about my part?  I cannot do a paper sometimes or breathe or please people who contact me or sit still without getting anxious or take one step out of the house because I don't know.  I don't know.  But teach me to know and to recognize the difference between the true reward and the real punishment that are connected to obedience and disobedience.  I want to be encouraged to obey and discouraged from disobeying.  My disobedience is so strong, so Lord break me and mold me at Your will, for my good and for Your glory.  And through it all, above all, in all-be ever near to me so that the flames of hell that come close will not scorch me.-

“Everything exposed by the light is made clear, for what makes everything clear is light. 

Therefore it is said: 

Get up, sleeper, 

and rise up from the dead, 

and the Messiah will shine on you.”

Ephesians 5:13-14

-Get up! I get up and You shine on me, 

my Messiah.  

My part is to get up, 

Your part is to shine on me 

as the light that exposes everything making everything become clear to me.  No more confusion when I get up, no more darkness when I get up, and no more sleep when I get up!  Then You shine Your light that exposes me and shows me truth from lie within me so that I may clearly see which way I am to go.  You lead me by Your light and I simply get up to have it shine on me to make everything clear.  I get up.-

“submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.”

Ephesians 5:21

-People.  People are a bit strange to connect with from the deep place of my heart.  They yank and they pull, they shove and they push, they spit and they crush--yet through all these motions I am called to submit my heart to such beatings?  It's no wonder it feels like death, because my heart is my control room and if someone untrustworthy is allowed in there then it could ruin my entire little kingdom of "me."  Unless, You're in there.  You've taken over the control room so that by letting all inside I am showing others who is a great and perfect King.  A great and perfect engineer at the control room.  I show others that it is You who knows how to reign better than anyone else, protect better than I ever could, and invite more for the joy of being one with all of God's children.  When You are in my control room, my heart/my will, then when I let others in I wait with them to watch You work....I wait for Yahweh and His will to be done.-

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 

This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

Ephesians 5:31-32

-To be joined to Christ as two becoming one flesh sounds strange but beautiful.  Christ and the church will become one flesh?  How will that be?  Will we still have individual bodies in heaven?  What does that mean for me now?  Am I being formed to become the bride of Christ as an individual in the church?  Are you preparing me for You?  So many questions because I've never experienced marriage yet, though I know what it is to long for it.  Perhaps I am being formed in the longing of Christ as my husband, but it is hard because I see how adulterous I am like Hosea's prostitute Gomer.  Yet Hosea always went back for her because God told him too, and Christ finds me again and again after I've left Him for other things I desire, because God's will is stronger than my sickness.- 

“Don’t work only while being watched, in order to please men, but as slaves of Christ, do God’s will from your heart. 

Serve with a good attitude, 

as to the Lord and not to men, 

knowing that whatever good each one does, slave or free, 

he will receive this back from the Lord.”

Ephesians 6:6-8

-I forget that the disciples were martyred for Jesus.  I forget to think: "would I be okay dying for Christ in this?"  And all my attention goes to how I might be ruined because of this rather than how there is nothing more ruinous than to leave the love and grace and gift of life by Christ!  Father You see everything.  Help me see You seeing me.  I want to walk in the truth of what is good being good back to me and what is bad being bad back to me, so keep my eyes on You because You see me.  I am a slave for Christ--a shameful one, but a slave nonetheless who has been covered by the blood of Jesus.  Help me to do Your will from my heart/my will, and not just from my body or my mind.  But from my heart.  When my body lacks help my mind to bring it back to You, and when my mind lacks help my body bring it back to You, as I surrender my will (my control room) to You and wait for Yahweh.-

“Finally, be strengthened by the Lord 

and by His vast strength. 

Put on the full armor of God 

so that you can stand against the tactics of the Devil. 

For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.”

Ephesians 6:10-12

-It is His strength, that is His part!  My part is not to be strong but to PUT ON.  Once I do my part of putting on His vast strength then I CAN stand against the tactics of that deceptive devil.  I PUT ON, and God is my strength.  How do I put on?  Just like Woooop...? Put it on.  Putting clothes on do not mean I will look good, but I can easily put on clothes, however if I want to look good I have to think more deeply about what I have and what will match or fit right.  But putting on clothes is not hindered by anything when it's just putting on clothes.  So perhaps I put on the armor of God without thinking how it will work or if it will fit or what might happen afterwards...I just put it on and the rest is God's part.-

Heart check

I forget how vaporous my existence is in life on earth.  Yet, life is precious because it is so fragile.  The more extinct I become the more I see the thread of eternity like a spider's web across my vision.  A glint of soul shows on the inhales of quietness. 

I am moved by the simple notion of comfort, but I don't mean the kind of comfort that comes from money or sleep or even joy.  There is a profoundly deep comfort in true friendship that carries the worst of me away, far away, and that in itself is a kind of comfort of being left with goodness.  

The moment I begin to try is the moment I begin failing to live.  Trying seems to equate with dying, but in letting go I find freedom in the needs that go beyond what my trying could ever attain.  Freedom in that I am not alone in what I hope to one day achieve, and that is perfect and complete blessedness with love.  

Sounds of an epic story fill the chambers of my mind with visions of the Kingdom.  A place much grander than what my current bones could behold, a place made of purest holiness.  Taken into the fold of that place for eight measures more.  The songs I hear from the saints today bring me tears of awe and anticipation for the promises held in eternity. 

The low rumble of uncertainty and fear lie crouching at the door of my heart.  Ready to barge in and destroy the place!  But there is a well of living water that never stops reminding me that no matter how bad things get inside of me, there is One who dwells there within me who is more powerful than any intruder.  What the enemy steals, kills or destroys, the Spirit simply reproduces, resurrects, and renews-- just like that.  

Though this life is all depending and entertained with Time, it does not mean that eternity will be the same.  Eternity will not have a dependency on Time the way this life does, so it is good to consider how much importance we place on such a temporary thing as Time.  Time belongs to God just as any other created thing like money, trees, people, and stars.  So there is a good and a corrupt way for handling Time just as there is a good or corrupt way for stewarding money, relationships, the environment and so forth.  Time is something to be stewarded in such a way that it does not give rise to fear or anxiety but rather to the praise and adoration of who God is.  Time, or how much we have of it, should make our hearts full of wonder for all that God shows us through it.

Oh my.  My little heart.  So full of things much too big for it to comprehend.  So wandering and so blind.  So deep and so easily deceived.  So frail and yet so brazen at times!  My heart is such a well.  It is here at the well that I meet with the Savior of the world. 

Jmegrey

 

Come out of hiding

John 4: introducing Jesus THE GOSPEL

The crack in the habit meets with running water. It reveals the crack even more!  

The white lie:

“Go call your husband,” He told her, 

"and come back here.” 

"I don’t have a husband,” she answered. 

"You have correctly said, ‘I don’t have a husband,’ ” Jesus said. 

“For you’ve had five husbands, 

and the man you now have is not your husband. 

What you have said is true.”

John 4:16-18

Jesus is all about the truth in entirety.  The whole truth, not just the part of truth that sits well with your image, but especially the part that doesn't.  

The crack in the back.  

The hole at the bottom.  

The bad habit that's hidden. 

Jesus goes straight for the most vulnerable part of you, your brokenness.  The part about you that you try to hide from everyone including God. 

One of the most awkward moments in life is when you're caught in your lie.  All the evidence is laid out and it's clear that you just lied.  Flat out lied, whether that was a white lie that was pretending to be something it was not or just a lie about something that was not the truth at all.   (Like did you do this, no --when really you did)

Whatever kind of lie it was, when it comes up in the room by another person, it's hella awkward.  Like why did you do that?  (Facial expressions of a kid caught in a lie) haha. 

If you ask kids why they lied they're usually silent.  Or they'll follow it up with ANOTHER LIE!!  but sometimes a kid will just confess that they did it, and it felt good to hit Esther across the face and take her bag.  It felt so good!!! Cuz they think Esther is a brat and they liked the bag she had.  

Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!!! The monster is unleashed.  Not created, unleashed...meaning it was always there on the inside, hidden from everyone for fear of judgmental eyes, but once the beast just steps out, there's no more hiding. 

Hello world! The lie is owned, the monster is them. 

No more hiding. 

Now for the kids that remain silent or follow up with another lie or even confess in a way as to try and convince the person that it was "an accident" or a slip up from your usual well-behaving nature....the lie is more like a separate entity.  Like the kid who tattle tales on you. Rats you out.  You hate that kid.  That's how this lie is treated.  It's unowned.  It's beside you not inside you.  And they figure out ways to keep this "kid" or this "monster" better hidden for future protection from being found out.  They go into deeper hiding. 

Slavery.  They work all their lives covering and defending the locked part of their heart where the monster lives.  Just so no one will see the real truth about what's inside.  

Jesus came to seek and save the lost, because a person who is hiding has yet to be found.  Jesus finds His own in the hidden places.  We meet God at Rock bottom, because that's the place where He shows us who is Savior.  

---

When you or I lie or live a lie so that others think some thing about us that we want them to or so that others will not think of us the way we don't want them to the question from Jesus is simply:

Why did you feel like you had to try and trick me or others into believing something about you that is not true?  

Because then no one would love me.

No one would like me.

I'd be seen as a monster. 

My disgusting habits will be exposed and reveal that I'm disgusting. 

It's awkward because it reveals that we were hiding something bad about us.  Why else would you lie?  We don't try and hide our good side.  We try and hide our cracked side.  

And the monster starts peeping.

Jesus converses with monsters because that's who He came to save.  

THE GOSPEL:

Jesus came to seek and save the lost.  He exposes this woman's lifestyle of guilt causing shame.  Guilt is feeling bad for something you did, shame is feeling bad for someone you are (a monster who does bad things repeatedly because that's what monster are--bad).

This woman lives in her shame because she is addicted to attention from men, but who can blame her, all the women hate her because she's "loose" and a woman of five husbands even in this day and age doesn't have a great reputation among their peers.  It looks....bad.  So she lives in the definition that others give her based on her choices.  How can she not?  She made the choice, and so she's paying the consequences.  We are so quick to judge, and yet so merciful when it comes to our own bad choices. 

Bad choices.  

What do we do with them?  

Only 2 ways to handle them:

1. Don't own it.  

Try to ignore them and act like you were only doing what you could do at that time, so it's not your fault.  Or add more lies as an aversion. You were forced by circumstances, you were over emotional, you were scared, you were bored and couldn't stand it....whatever your reasons are...that's one way we look at bad choices of ours. To hide it as if it wasn't ours.  To not own it. 

2. Own it.  

You are that disgusting monster.  People will eventually figure it out because lies breed lies. Never once was truth able to be born from a lie (an apple tree will never once produce oranges.)  you can wishful think your way into some twisted and confusing logic that maybe if I paint these apples orange people won't notice or eventually they may even turn into actual oranges, but the truth is very thorough, they will not ever be oranges until you own that the tree is an apple one.  

The diversion tactic: 

“Sir,” the woman replied, “I see that You are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, yet you Jews say that the place to worship is in Jerusalem.” 

How many of us have used this tactic before?? You get caught in a lie and you make up some diversion to get the focus off of your lie and onto something else?   The diversion just makes it even more awkward because now you've got the evidence smeared over your face and you're trying to have small talk.  

Jesus told her, “Believe Me, woman, 

an hour is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know. We worship what we do know, because salvation is from the Jews. 

But an hour is coming, 

and is now here, 

when the true worshipers 

will worship the Father 

in spirit and truth. 

Yes, the Father wants such people to worship Him. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” 

The woman said to Him, “I know that Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ ). “When He comes, He will explain everything to us.” 

"I am He,” Jesus told her, 

“the One speaking to you.”

John 4:19-26

Freedom gets rid of your facade: 

“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could this be the Messiah? ” 

They left the town and made their way to Him.”

John 4:29-30

She speaks up.  She's brave now.  People are attracted to bravery.  It's beautiful because it's bold and fearless.  Here's this woman who was shunned and shamed by her community now urging everyone to take her word!  A liar turned true!  

“The disciples said to one another, “Could someone have brought Him something to eat? ” “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to finish His work,” Jesus told them.”

John 4:33-34

I ate the the sweet will of God in meeting this woman and setting her free from a life of hiding!

The will of God begins with Jesus, and it's a pay it forward kind of chain reaction:

“Don’t you say, ‘There are still four more months, then comes the harvest’? Listen to what I’m telling you: Open your eyes and look at the fields, for they are ready for harvest. The reaper is already receiving pay and gathering fruit for eternal life, 

--the woman gathered the town!--

so the sower and reaper can rejoice together. 

For in this case the saying is true: ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap what you didn’t labor for; others have labored, and you have benefited from their labor.”

--or you have now entered into their labor--

John 4:35-38

(Examples: Behind the scenes of planning an event for the youth ministry or any ministry)

You have learned love from someone who has loved you, likewise you are also sowers in the lives of those you love who will reap that and benefit from your labor, and in this way both sower and reaper rejoice together.  For all of us received the love of God first, and give to others what we didn't work for.  Did you die on the cross for your freedom from your sins that heaped guilt and shame inside of you?  No, Jesus did!  But you benefitted from His death, and so you give to others what someone else gave you.  

“Now many Samaritans from that town believed in Him because of what the woman said when she testified, “He told me everything I ever did.”

John 4:39

Who brought people to Christ?  The monster! 

The monster was exposed and the voice of the true her was more compelling than all the veils she hid behind trying to be someone she was not --and never getting that kind of response from the people around her.  They all knew.  She was only enslaving herself. But once the monster was out and she realized that Jesus loved her as she was and came to save her from a life of shame and guilt the people listened to her. 

“And they told the woman, “We no longer believe because of what you said, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this really is the Savior of the world.””

John 4:42

Salvation came to an entire town, but it started with one ashamed and guilty woman.  The most effective person for the kingdom of God is a true one.  All it takes is one person who is true to make a difference, and to be true means that there are no secrets.  Everything is exposed and you are who you are down to the worst part.  Jesus uses broken people because there is no one who is not broken until they meet the Savior of the world! 

The second miracle was exposing our level of faith:

“Jesus told him, 

“Unless you people see signs and wonders, 

you will not believe.” 

"Sir,” the official said to Him, 

“come down before my boy dies! ” 

"Go,” Jesus told him, “your son will live.” 

The man believed what Jesus said 

to him and departed.”

John 4:48-50

--I don't know but maybe this man didn't believe what Jesus said about his son living, Maybe the man believed that he needed to see a sign or wonder in order to believe.  Or if he did believe that his son would live it was 

not a belief of trust, 

but a belief of hope. 

“The father realized this was the very hour at which Jesus had told him, “Your son will live.” Then he himself believed, along with his whole household.”

John 4:53

This was a belief of trust.  The belief that saved his soul and the souls of his entire household.

“This, therefore, was the second sign Jesus performed after He came from Judea to Galilee.”

John 4:54

You want a sign, there you go.  But that isn't faith, that's hope.  Hope leading to trust, which is faith leading to love.  Faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.  

How many of us think that if we see a sign or miracle it will be easier to believe? I do.  If I experience a miracle I believe in Jesus more.  And Jesus still performs miracles today.  One of which is me and my testimony, but that's for another time. 

Unless we SEE...we will have a hard time believing with trust. 

Faith is believing in what is not seen with hope and trust. 

Perhaps Jesus is showing us that believing there is hope can lead to believing we can trust. 

The area where hope is lost is an area where faith is hindered and trust is unattainable. 

Is there an area of your life where you have lost hope?

"I'll never change here."

"I'll never redeem myself in this area."

"I'll never be healed in this area."

"I'll never get back what I lost back then."

"This situation will never change."

"That situation will never change."

Etc...

Jesus has arrived and He is saying: 

Ahem.

"I am He,” Jesus told her, 

“the One speaking to you.”

John 4:26

My food is to do the will of Him who SENT ME.

This doesn't mean Jesus will do what you want Him to, because we might think that He did that for the royal centurion, but looking closer at the passage it leads to him and his household believing in Jesus for eternal life.  

That kid might not have died now, but eventually the kid will die.  That sign will be done and gone forever.  

But the greater gift is that which Jesus gave to them, through the use of a temporary sign, which is eternal life.  

Don't focus so much on the sign or wonder and miss out on the real gift which is eternal life.   

I'm the Savior of the World.  The One you have been waiting and hoping for to make right all those wrongs.  

What was lost is now found.  

What was enslaved is now free.  

What was broken is now mended and whole.  

What was dead is now alive. 

That's just who He is.  

His death for your life. 

Come out of hiding, 

and put your hope in the Savior of the world. 

Jmegrey