Perhaps there's Hope.

Ughh, so here's one of those moments again where I hear, read, see, (or touch?) something from someone and automatically hold it up like two photos being compared for clarity.  One photo is not my life, the other is, and usually always dulls when placed beside this super uber clear one with exceptional lighting, vibrancy, and someone laughing with all their beautiful white teeth showing.  Mine looks more like eyes half closed next to something blurry with a huge peach fuzz interfering from the right hand corner (because people still put their finger over the flash, and it's annoying when you're using film)  You're annoying!  sorry, I'm just annoyed in general at how badly this entry is going to make me look, which is why the masochist in me is excited to write it.

      Well, here I am, writing about the little things in life, and somehow finding the archaic underlying bones of meaning behind them.  I am not famous, one of my best friends still spells my name wrong to this day on every birthday card, but I have found the diamond in the rough.  That is, that this isn't the world of Jamie, not even if I'm Jamie....well, especially if I'm Jamie.  I can't compare my life to the life of another, as natural of a habit as that is, my gifts and talents must be sowed accordingly.  If I'm an orchard I can't be mass producing weapons of warfare in the battle for God's kingdom.  I can, however, provide seasonal fruits and nuts and even beautiful scenery for the hungry and depraved soldier.  Or perhaps I'm not even an orchard, maybe I'm more like a dilapidated bridge in the middle of nowhere, but those who cross over, with me doing little more than remaining there and intact, find that they are closer to walking toward the right direction then when they were on the other side.  Maybe, despite my awkward location, and the appearance of futility, I am in fact a significant marker for the beginning of the soul in search for God.  Although it may feel like I've been abandoned, neglected, and forgotten, perhaps my job is very important as I am there to direct and then later be torn apart and used to build a really cool log cabin-style church for those that truly love The Lord.  Perhaps.  There is more than what my eyes see, what my feelings tell me, and even what others think of me.  This is hope.  This is trust.  This is my conviction.

2 Peter 3:9

"The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness.  Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

His timing.  Not mine.

John 3:30

"He must become greater; I must become less."