Simplicity of Heart

       That has been a recurrent reminder in my life lately.  I have these expectations of long and short term situations from relationships that begin or end to the meals I plan to eat that don't get eaten, or the places I go toward to the places I leave behind.  I have a natural inclination to want to control everything in my life, but God has continuously showed me that I have no control of anything, but rather only an illusion of it.  Control is power, and there is no other power that will rule aside from that which belongs to God.  The more I try to be my own god and control things, or hold on to expectations, the more worry and anxiety I just add to my soul since I can't truly control even my waking and sleeping.  It is unwise because the load is too heavy, and I cannot lean on myself if myself is falling.  So that leaves me with one solution, the same solution that solves every problem I ever have.  Simply this:

Acts 2: 44-47  

“Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need.  So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people.  And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved”

It is simple: Jesus.  The early church loved Jesus, and showed their love by living with such a simplicity of heart.  Praising God together, eating together, and giving everything to support one another for the sake of the gospel.  

Fear is difficult.  Fear adds worry before things to be worried about even happen.  Crazy!  

       So it starts with trust.  Real, raw, blindfolded trust.  The kind that makes you fall for a time long enough to let Him catch you.  Let me repeat that:  Real trust is the kind that makes you fall for a time long enough to let Him catch you.  You don't catch yourself, you don't let someone else try and catch you, but you keep falling long enough until He catches you.  The falling is scary, but the catching is glorious!  To be caught in the hands of God is like coming across the wardrobe to Narnia (I've heard this metaphor used twice in the past week so it's really stuck with me), once you have seen and been in what His glory is like you will never be the same.  It completely changes you, and rightly so.  If you stepped into a world completely contrasting to the one you were from would you not be amazed?  Especially if that world was filled with unimaginable adventure and wildly bold friends that lived passionately?  

       I relinquish my rights, and in doing so I pick up all of my responsibilities.  What does that mean? That is trust.  To let go of the idea that I have a right to anything, but rather live with the intention of living out all of my responsibilities given to me by that which I put my trust in.  When I trust in God I pick up every responsibility He gives me: every dollar, every word, every relationship, and every meal is a responsibility of mine to diligently live out for His glory and not my own.

      God's desires for us are going to be utterly creative, because His very nature is artistically intentional.  What he hands to You will likely be awesomely different from what He hands to me, but both will end in His name being glorified.  So I strive to let go of trying to control things, take up my responsibilities, and know that it will begin with the small stuff; a daily surrender as I fall fast into the hands of Him who I trust will catch me.  

Falling and still falling,

-J