The First Post

       Let us mark this day, February 23, 2013, as an epic day.  Today I write my first public blog, 500th regular blog, 90th cafe blog, and zillionth attempted "epic blog".  What is an epic blog?  Well, for starters, epic-asy(?), as beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.  So to all those who behold this blog, welcome to my blog.  I can not, will not, in fact should not say much further about what this blog will hold for you, since my words, like thoughts, change and intertwine like earbuds in your pocket (only 100 times thinner and longer).  It will be a space for you to, for some mildly intrusive reason, get a good look into my mind maybe in hopes of finding a similarity, stark contrast, humor, or my personal favorite, conversation-starter (I totally came up with that "my personal favorite" after a few minutes of thinking, but quite honestly a similarity, stark contrast, or humor could just have well been "my personal favorite" if I had thought of conversation-starter before the others).  Sometimes I say things that, to me, sound epic, but I try to be as honest as I have room for in my eager little heart.  I do like to please people, but honesty is the most pleasant attribute that I find in others.  So I can promise to try to accomplish the following for my blog:

1.  I will not use thesaurus.com/dictionary.com for my personal content, if I do not know what the word means than I don't expect you too either, but the caveat is that I may take some long tangent to explain something where the right word or words are displaced.

2.  I will update (at least) weekly (....scary thought, mostly since I tend to start things and not finish them.  Sigh.)

3.  I will try not to try not to try not to try not to try to try to try to try. hehehe.


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Ok, here we go.

      I tend to be a victim of facial crumbs and clingers.  I think I look into a mirror on a daily basis, and even at a frequency not far from snacking (I guess you'd have to know if I snacked frequently to get a better idea of this, but that'll come in time my friend.)  However, I have the unfortunate habit of not checking a mirror when I actually have something to clean off my face before presenting it, say, to a new employer or stranger or date.  So the other day I had finished off my protein shake which is loaded with all sorts of ground, crushed, minced, fibery-plant-based goodness when my kids's mother came home with her out-of-towner friends.  (I'm a nanny).  We, I and the mother and her friend, chatted about the 5 year olds science project and all sorts of other friendly things for a good 15 minutes, all the while I noticed this strange look of ....disgust? horror? on the friends face.  She even apologized when I introduced myself, and for a moment I didn't know if she was apologizing for her countenance or for not introducing herself first, but I brushed it off as a weird lady's bad habit.  Got into my car, and of course was only 20 minutes late in checking the mirror to find that I had two huge bits of dark brown smoothie remains smeared across my upper and lower lip so that it may have looked like I had previously gorged on the mothers' chocolate stash while she was away and I was supposedly looking after her children.  Not uncommon, but still never without a sighing moment of being humiliated and humored.

       Also.  what's worse than food stuck on your face in front of another person?  Not much, but something that follows closely behind is food caught by the front of your shirt cowl, or for guys (unless you're a guy who likes to wear cowl-neck shirts...which is fine, just not average in America, but you're special, and unique...and here I go again trying to please everyone) the front of your scarf.  It's strangely so different than a crumb or bit of food fallen on your lap or even the front of your shirt, but when it lands on your scarf or cowl (which is just a droopy turtle neck) it feels...shameful.  It's almost as if the shirt was made to protect you from crumbs falling on your lap, but when it does catch a piece it's so personal and close to your face as if to say "Look at this!  This crumb!  Look! Inches away from your face.  This happened because you missed the opening of your mouth.  I'm not a napkin, I'm your shirt, and I had to do your mouth's job because you couldn't."  I apologize to my cowls and scarves more often than I'd like.

-Jme-Grey