Getting sleepy during prayer

"Mark 14:32-42"

Getting sleepy.

Do you often get sleepy in times where you initially plan to pray?
You start off with the right motives, and you end up feeling so sleepy that you can't really pray.  Then you feel guilty or worthless as a worshipper, because what kind of worshipper goes to pray and ends up falling asleep?!

You-kind.
Me-kind.
Human-kind.

I was grading papers on several passages from the gospels and two of them talked about how the disciples got sleepy when they "should have been" praying.

Jesus brings His closest friends with Him to a place far away from people to get some quiet time for His soul.  He expresses to them that he is deeply distressed and even horrified.  Jesus is scared.  And His friends respond the only way they can, they go with Him.

Then He came and found them sleeping.
“Simon, are you sleeping? ” He asked Peter.
“Couldn’t you stay awake one hour?
Stay awake and pray so that you won’t enter into temptation.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Imagine you're in the hospital room, on the bed, and they're about to amputate both your arms and legs in 2 hours....meaning you're about to become fully leg-less and arm-less in less than 2 hours because of a poisonous infection!  You call your closest friends to be with you and pray for you because you're horribly scared of the surgery and you just need some comfort to get through this.

You ask the nurse to call your friends in, and she returns with the news that they're all asleep in the waiting room.  So you tell the nurse to kindly wake them up and bring them in.  They arrive and you ask them to pray for you in the room while the doctor preps you for the surgery behind the curtain.  These are your best friends, maybe your husband or wife or mom or dad.  And as the doctor is prepping you, you hope that your loved ones are praying for you to help you get through this.  The curtain opens and there they are, every one of them is asleep, some are drooling and others look like they're having a nice dream.

You're about to become limbless, utterly just a trunk and a face is what you'll become, and more terrifying than this is how alone you suddenly feel in your demise.

This is probably how Jesus felt when He went off to pray to His Father for some other way than the way of suffering and when He was told "No other way" He also had to come back to find His friends fast asleep.

Perhaps some of us might want to think that we surely would not have fallen asleep!  If our mother or best friend or child was about to be chopped up in a hospital we want to believe that we would be their prayer warrior!  They could count on us to stay awake with them!  Because we love them!

But the truth is that humans cannot derail sleep if sleep comes over them.  It's strangely revealing, because as hard as we might try to do things and accomplish things, everyone will eventually fall asleep.  Regardless.  Because our bodies were made so that sleep comes when sleep comes.  The hardest worker and the laziest worker will both need to sleep.  The person who makes millions and the person who is neck-deep in debt will still require sleep.

Falling asleep is not to condemn us, but to humble us in recognition of the control of God.  The only person who does not require sleep is God.  If it did it would mean God had no control over something.  But God controls everything, and sleep is one of the most obvious reminders that He is in control and we are not.

Jesus  asks Peter to try and stay awake, but three times He returns to find them sleeping.  However, this is never something they are condemned for, rather, it is something used to show them that although the Spirit is willing, the flesh is weak.  Peter in particular needed to be shown this because he talked the most up-talk about dying for Jesus and doing everything for Jesus like a real soldier!   But in reality, it seems like Jesus was showing Peter that there is a battle of the spirit vs the flesh.  Not a battle for the outcome of God to be done, God has no trouble getting His way because He's in control.

The battle is within us.  To believe even when we don't feel like it.  To hold to hope even when we fail to stay awake in prayer times.  To remember that the Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, so how can we target the true enemy...our weakness in the flesh.  While remaining steadfast in our willing spirit by faith.

The answer is simple: stop looking at yourself and what you can do, and keep your eyes on Jesus and what He has done.

When Christ returned from praying to the Father the third and last time and found His friends sleeping again He said:

 “Are you still sleeping and resting?
Enough!
The time has come.
Look, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners.
Get up; let’s go!"

In other words, He found them sleeping when they should have been praying but regardless of what they should have been doing Jesus told them to look at Him.  Something was about to happen that would save them from their "shoulda" lives.  Jesus would be taking the penalty of every "should have" so that when we look at Him at a His resurrection we can say with deep humility: thank You.  What should have been my punishment became His and His life became mine.  Jesus traded our kind for His kind by becoming one of us and taking down the outcome of our should haves so that we might see His love for us and would have eternal life.

The next time you get sleepy during prayer time, remember to look at Jesus.  He took our "should have stayed awake to pray" by being crucified, so that the freedom we live in is all thanks to Him.  He is worthy of our praise.  Who else would die for the very people that left us  in our greatest time of need?  Only the One who does the Father's will would do such a thing.

For if it were dependent on man all would be doomed for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, but Jesus finished it by becoming one of us to make a way for us to be reconciled to the Father.  Not because we pray but because Jesus prayed.  Not by what we do but by what Jesus did.  Not by who we are but by who Jesus is.  We are now free in Him who gives us the Holy Spirit to remind us of our life in Him.

Here's to looking at Jesus all day today,
Jmegrey

Context Matters

I found in my mind something a bit disarming while doing seemingly selfless actions.  As I was considering the aim of doing something for the other person I realized that it was, in a way and to some significant degree, my own trying and hiding from my own sins.  In an attempt to be kind or selfless or intentional about serving another person, I found in my heart a kind of balm over my own guilt.  A false feeling of justification or ease about the mortifying truth of my own sin.  I am a sinner and the sins I've committed were against God alone, and no one else.  These sins are not cleansed by acts of kindness, because that would mean they were only as severe as the degree of goodness in an action I could do.  The severity is one against God's holiness, so the act of kindness needs either to measure up to that which can surpass the offense (can I be so kind as to outdo my offense?) or must be exposed as a cheap fraud in trying to pay God back for what I took--namely the honor due Him.

So, I was thinking, and very alarmed at my own thoughts in the moment.  Was I so kind because I had become an expert at fraudulent payments to God?  Or were my acts of kindness genuinely born of a penitent heart for the grace I had received by way of the cross of Jesus Christ?

I suppose the answer is both.  However, without attention to the cross I can easily get away with a momentary feeling of self-righteousness.  This can later turn against me because it is against the cross.  When I am kind I feel relieved of my guilt, perhaps even thinking God is so pleased by my actions that not only has He forgiven me of the repulsive offenses I had earlier made against Him, but my acts are so grand and good that He is now blessing me with the fruit of the Spirit because of them!

What does it mean to obey God's commands?  What does it look like inwardly and outwardly to live by the Spirit and remain in Him?

Love one another.
Forgive one another.
Repent and seek God.

All of these are crucial to our growth in the Spirit, but what often gets hidden behind these beautiful commands is our pride, our offenses against God, and our craving for self-righteousness.

To love and to forgive and to repent and seek God are all good things, but they too have a context which we can get distorted.  Context matters.  We love others not because it relieves us of our sins or provides for us a sense of "feeling good" but because the Father's love has so filled our hearts that what pours over in abundance is the bounty of love from Him to others.  That is, we have so drunk from His cup of grace and mercy that it now flows directly from Him to us and on to others.  It is a love that begins with God.  But here is where we often overlook this context in favor of whatever relieves us of our guilt or shame.  If loving others simply makes us feel good then we are not obeying the command of God to love others.  This love for others must flow from the love God has first given to us.  For in that process we come to see the truth of where love comes from and to whom all the credit is due when it is dispersed.

Forgiveness on the other hand is also a matter of contextual importance.  In other words, what goes on in our hearts is the context we have to look at when forgiving, not the act itself.  Anyone can forgive by way of words or even mental ascent in thinking "well, I might as well forgive this person if I want some peace of mind." Or any other reason aside from the one that points our eyes back to the cross of Jesus Christ.  We forgive because the Savior of the world has declared that His death has washed away all sins, so that the offenses we now make  or that are made against us in the present are all merely reminders for us to look at the wonder of the cross.  In essence for every offense made we are now given the truth to hear Christ say "For this, too, I have died so that you can forgive and be forgiven."  It works in either direction, whether the offense was made against you or was made by you.  All are submitted to the cross when we take our place in Jesus.  The context of forgiveness is to look to the cross and remember "for this offense my Savior died, and His death is powerful to wash away the stains I've made and the stains made against me."  That is forgiveness.

As for repentance and seeking God, I have some trouble thinking about the context here.  It can get so distorted by feelings of remorse or  my own selfish desires to get something from God by way of pleasing Him instead of just getting Him.  But I think, and I could be wrong in everything or some things, that the context of repentance and seeking God are in desperation.  When our hearts are simply broken and desperate we can here say that repentance and seeking God become more and more fervent.  My reason for believing this is that it is possible to think one is repenting and seeking God when one simply thinks they are sorry or that they acknowledge they did a bad thing.  This acknowledgment or awareness can feel like repentance yet has nothing to do with getting rid of the desire.  It simply points out bad from good, right from wrong, and this knowledge leads us to think we will therefore now choose the good and the right because repentance means turning away from what was bad and wrong.  However, the context of repentance falls short in that temporary feeling of knowing right from wrong, because sooner or later we find ourselves repenting for the same thing.  The context of repentance is nakedness and childlike weakness in the face of reality.  Here is where our repentance is not only an acknowledgment of knowing right from wrong but an utter frightening confrontation with our inability to choose one over the other and in this realization we resort to our only hope:  seeking God for the power we need to truly change.  This repentance is both humiliating and uncertain.  I say humiliating because we are exposed as the desperate needy beings we are and uncertain because we wait on the goodness and mercy of God to show up in just the right time to help us in our time of need.  We have no control for when God will turn our desires into good, but we have the truth in that He is good and we can call on Him to be good to us.

In essence, I've examined the context of loving others, forgiving, repenting and seeking God all in the context of my seemingly intentional acts of kindness.  To be sure, our acts of kindness can be hiding a swamp of bile beneath the surface that continues to destroy us because acts do not save a person from eternal death, or we can pause and call upon the Spirit of God who hovers above the deep well of our hearts to remind us of the truth.  Context matters because it reveals the heart.  The Savior is Jesus Christ alone.

Jmegrey

Do you want to be a slave?

Do you want to be a slave?

“Paul and Timothy,
slaves of Christ Jesus:
To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, including the overseers and deacons.”
Philippians 1:1

The Word slave sounds so brutal and poor.  A slave is someone we associate crippling lowliness with.  Someone who has no freedom, no will to change the course of one's day, and no love.  A worthless object who only lives to benefit their master.  Serve! Serve! Serve! And perhaps the master will feed you his leftovers or expect you to eat the pieces of meat that dangled off the platter, like the fat or ligaments that are tough to chew.  And perhaps you'll have a place to sleep, but it won't be very warm and the sleep won't be long...just enough for you to wake back up and serve! Serve! Serve!

That's usually the picture in my head when I think of slave, but let's be more objective.  The treatment the slave receives is entirely contingent upon the will and personality of the master.  Do slaves live to serve their master's will and desires?  Yes.  Do slaves belong to their master? Yes.  Do slaves get ill-treated by their masters?  That depends on the master.

So here is what is true about slaves for sure:
1. They serve their master
2. They belong to their master
3. They live with their master
4. Their master can ask them to do anything, and they will obey if they are slaves

Before we talk about good treatment or bad treatment we have to get it straight that there is no objective reason to believe that slaves have it bad.  They may not have a lot of freedom in the sense that they have to do whatever their master wants, but that isn't bad unless their so-called freedom is good.  In other words, a child who wants the "freedom" to do whatever they want will probably choose not to go to school or eat their veggies or clean their room.  Habits that are all meant for the good of the child's health and good character in the long run.

So sometimes not having that type of "freedom" is better for us than having it--if having it lead to destructive choices.

Now let's consider the master.

The most important person in the slave-master relationship is the master.  The life of the slave is submissive to the primary life of the master.  A loving master will mean love for the slave who serves him, a cruel master will mean cruelty for the slave who serves him.  Whoever the master is will reveal the life of his slave.

We are all slaves.
Either a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness.

Let me put the same concept into different words that all point to the identity of the master as the distinct difference between this kind of slavery to that kind.  Either way we are slaves, the only difference is in who our master is.
We will do what our master wants or at least do what we can to make our master pleased/satisfied.

Slave to Christ vs. slave to Law
Slave to righteousness vs. slave to sin
Slave to God vs. slave to self
Slave to grace vs. slave to law

What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace?
By no means!

Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?

But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness.

I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations.
For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.
But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed?
For the end of those things is death.

But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life.
For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-Romans 6:15-23

So I ask again,
Do you want to be a slave?
If you desire a life and a free will then the answer will be yes.
A slave is merely someone who's life depends on the will of its master.
You can be a slave to your own will.
The point is not to be or not to be a slave.
The point is the master to whom you are a slave to.
Remember the life of the slave is contingent upon the person that the master is.

The only way to not be a slave is to not exist.
If you wish to cease to exist, then that's another topic.

But if you want a life of awestruck goodness, fullness of joys, deep and meaningful moments of intimacy with others, love, truth and beauty, then those are things that only a slave can experience.  Because those things involve existing.  You can't experience if you don't exist.

The next time you think you're being forced to do something and it feels like slavery, consider who your master is.  Or consider when you feel free in doing something consider who you're master is.
Feeling enslaved or free has nothing to do with being a slave.  You are a slave whether you feel like one or not, because remember a slave is simply someone who does the will of His or her master.

It's all about looking at the master.
In which case I join Paul and Timothy in declaring with thankfulness that I am a proud slave of Jesus Christ.  The most loving, good, and beautiful master whom I love to serve and do what He wills because everything He does leads to my perfect contentment.

Who is your master?
And how's that going for you?

A slave to Jesus,
Jmegrey

PS: my Master even tells me to stop calling Him "master" and instead call Him "friend."
He's that awesome, but whatever I call Him I still only want to do what He wants because His will is my life's greatest contentment.

“You are My friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you slaves anymore, because a slave doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from My Father.”
John 15:14-15

We will do our master's bidding, so knowing your master well will help us know ourselves well.  Our life is contingent upon the master we serve.

Who is your master?

My chains are gone, my debt is paid, praise Him!

Going to work might feel like it has nothing to do with God's grand and epic purposes for your life and for the ultimate unveiling of His glorious Kingdom approaching earth in fuller measures, BUT what you feel and what is true don't always match up.  Today God is doing what only God can do--and that is a great work through you, because you have this hidden treasure in you like jars of clay full of miraculous water turning into wine!  Psalm 107 is the prayer on my mind and in my heart today as you and I go to work, study, or rest today.

"Others went to sea in ships,
(going to work)
conducting trade on the vast waters.
(Doing work)

They saw the Lord’s works,
(being mindful)
His wonderful works in the deep.
(Admiring God)

He spoke and raised a tempest
that stirred up the waves of the sea.
Rising up to the sky,
sinking down to the depths,
(GOD's initiative)

their courage melting away in anguish,
(our initial reaction)

they reeled and staggered like drunken men,
and all their skill was useless.
(Our reality)

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
(our desperate response)
and He brought them out of their distress.
(GOD's control)
He stilled the storm to a murmur,
(God's plan)
and the waves of the sea were hushed.
(God's power)
They rejoiced when the waves grew quiet.
(Our resulting praise)

Then He guided them
to the harbor they longed for.
(God's care)
Let them give thanks to the Lord
for His faithful love
and His wonderful works
for all humanity.
(Right relationship)

--
Again:

He turns rivers into desert,
springs of water into thirsty ground,
and fruitful land into salty wasteland,
because of the wickedness of its inhabitants.
He turns a desert into a pool of water,
dry land into springs of water.

(...because? There is no reason for God to do the good things He does, but everything points to a reason for Him to turn away from us because we are always dishonoring His Holiness, and relating to Him wrongly as if praise need not be constantly rising from our lips to Him.  Yet see how His goodness continually shows up!)

Let whoever is wise
pay attention to these things
and consider the Lord’s acts of faithful love.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭107:23-31, 33-35, 43‬ ‭

Consider your way of relating to God today.  Do you relate to Him on the basis of His faithfulness and Your dependence on Him or do you relate to Him based on your feelings and His dependence on what you want.

The right way of relating to God is when He is God and we are His created ones made for worship.

“Give thanks to the Lord,
for He is good;
His faithful love endures forever.

Let the redeemed of the Lord proclaim
that He has redeemed them
from the hand of the foe
and has gathered them from the lands —
from the east and the west,
from the north and the south.

Example 1:
Some wandered in the desolate wilderness,
finding no way to a city where they could live.
(Feeling restless or without a home)

They were hungry and thirsty;
their spirits failed within them.
(Losing energy and hope)

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He rescued them from their distress.
He led them by the right path
to go to a city where they could live.
(God's action)

Let them give thanks to the Lord
for His faithful love
and His wonderful works for all humanity.
For He has satisfied the thirsty
and filled the hungry with good things.
(God's good and perfect plan!)

Example 2:
Others sat in darkness and gloom —
prisoners in cruel chains —
because they rebelled
against God’s commands
and despised the counsel of the Most High.
(Our disobedience)

He broke their spirits with hard labor;
they stumbled,
and there was no one to help.
(GOD's control)

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;
He saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and gloom
and broke their chains apart.
(God's action)

Let them give thanks to the Lord
for His faithful love and His wonderful works
for all humanity.
For He has broken down the bronze gates
and cut through the iron bars.
(God's good and perfect plan!)

Example 3:
Fools suffered affliction
because of their rebellious ways
and their sins.
(Our foolishness)

They loathed all food
and came near the gates of death.
(Our situation)

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble;
He saved them from their distress.
He sent His word and healed them;
He rescued them from the Pit.
(God's action)

Let them give thanks to the Lord
for His faithful love and
His wonderful works for all humanity.
Let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving
and announce His works with shouts of joy.
(God's good and perfect plan!)

But He lifts the needy out of their suffering
and makes their families multiply like flocks.

The upright see it and rejoice,
and all injustice shuts its mouth.

Let whoever is wise pay attention
to these things
and consider
the Lord’s acts of faithful love.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭107:1-43‬ ‭

This psalm shows a sequence played out in different ways.  It doesn't matter who started the oppression--whether external or internal--what matters is that God saves and we give Him praise.

Whatever your situation is, whether the cause is you or something outside of your control, it doesn't matter.  What matters is that we look to the Lord for all our needs-both ones we have control over and ones we don't.  His rescue is not contingent on our obedience but on our cry for help.  The resulting response of this kind of cry is always thankfulness.

This is the repeated sequence of Psalm 107:

1. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress.

2. Let them give thanks to the Lord
       for His faithful love and
       His wonderful works for all humanity.

Consider not what started the distress but who takes care of it. God is in control.
His part is control,
Our part is praise.

I find myself mostly in acts of disobedience and rebellion toward God, and this psalm is the freedom that I seek.  It's not who I am that compels God to rescue me, but it is who He is that compels Him to rescue me.

Thank You Lord for Your faithful love in the midst of my unfaithful love, and for Your wonderful works for all humanity,
Jmegrey

God's purpose to grant us everything through suffering

You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord . . . (James 5:11)

Job is the guy we all know who suffered the most in the history of mankind besides Jesus.  He lost everything he had and everyone he loved (except his nagging wife), and experienced the worst kinds of mental, spiritual and physical pains.  But worst of all Job suffered when he not only did nothing to deserve it, but did everything to deserve the opposite of suffering!  He was an obedient, steadfast, and righteous man of God.  Yet he went through so much pain and turmoil in his life.  He is a type of Jesus.

Yet in the end Job received from God more than what he had in the beginning.  Job not only received the earthly things back in multiplication but he also received more of God relationally--a gift that God alone can give to a created human.  The gift of greater fulfillment.  This all happened because God used Job's pain to bring him closer to the knowledge of who God is and, in turn, led Job to intimacy with his Maker.  The devil had his purposes for seeing Job suffer, which Job's friends also agreed with, but God has His own purpose for Job's suffering.  In the end the purposes of God will prevail and our part is to remain in Him for that very reason.

“Every branch in Me that does not produce fruit He removes, and He prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.”
John 15:2

Pruning time is our opportune time to grow for every child of God.  When pain hits our lives, we can know the Surgeon is working on the health of our hearts.

That sounds counter-cultural since hard times and pain will equate to bad times and misery by the interpretation of culture.
But we know that God has His way of making all things new and He begins by pruning away what is hindering us from truly blooming in abundant fruit!
In order for a butterfly to hatch it has to leave behind its caterpillar lifestyle and enter into the encasement of a cocoon.

He did not even spare His own Son but offered Him up for us all; how will He not also with Him grant us everything?
Romans 8:32

To be encased or "stuck" in time, away from our wants and desires, is not to be withheld from them.  Rather, God is shaping us to enjoy our desires to the fullest capacity by making our hearts set on Him, making us whole, so that the rest of us can gather His gifts without losing our wholeness in the process.  Everyday He wants to bless us even more, but if we do not have whole hearts then we will be tempted to find wholeness in a gift we do not have yet....essentially turning our lives into a continual treadmill bonanza.  Step off the treadmill and wait in whatever circumstance God has you in because God is a good and loving Father who wants us to enjoy life and enjoy eternal life to the fullest!  It begins now in our brokenness.  Our weak natures are being transformed into the new nature.  By the time we reach full communion with God in Heaven we will finally understand His purposes for our pain on earth as necessary for our complete joy in heaven.

Find your life here and you will lose it at death, but lose your life and you will find it both here and in Life everlasting.  (Luke 17:33)

We waste our time believing the lies of the devil who tries to set our sights on his own purposes for our suffering, but we are called by Christ to set our eyes on the purposes of God.  Oftentimes, we feel this the most when we get defensive or disappointed with people.  When our hearts consider our suffering from the perspective and purposes of the devil then naturally we don't like it.  We begin to complain and get angry.  But who is the One in control of our circumstances?  Who's purposes are we viewing our circumstances from?

“Brothers, do not complain about one another, so that you will not be judged. Look, the judge stands at the door!

Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing praises.

The prayer of faith will save the sick person,
and the Lord will restore him to health;
if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.
The urgent request of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.

Elijah was a man with a nature like ours;
yet he prayed earnestly that it would not rain,
and for three years and six months it did not rain on the land.
Then he prayed again, and the sky gave rain and the land produced its fruit.”
James 5:9, 13, 15-18

When we suffer it doesn't mean we have to smile.  It means we have to look at God, often through tears and anguish,  and speak to Him because it shows us that we believe He knows what is going on and is in control.  Our limited scope will naturally leave us bewildered most of the time, but being bewildered does not inhibit us from being open to God.  What hinders us from being open to God is not looking to God at all.  When our focus remains on our circumstances and our expectations then we close ourselves off from our only hope.  We give the devil what he wants: our misery.

However, Christ reminds us that communion with the Father is our lifeline in this life and in our eternal life.

“You took off your former way of life,
the old self that is corrupted by deceitful desires;
you are being renewed in the spirit of your minds; you put on the new self,
the one created according to God’s likeness in righteousness and purity of the truth.

Since you put away lying,
Speak the truth,
each one to his neighbor,
because we are members of one another.

Be angry and do not sin.
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger,
and don’t give the Devil an opportunity.

No foul language is to come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.

All bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.”
Ephesians 4:22-27, 29, 31-32

Putting truth into action today:
Let's wait in every season of feeling encased and remember that Time is in God's good hands and He will bring to fruition our deepest desires when we remain steadfast in Him.

Today is about waiting on the Lord during our times of suffering, and in the meantime, setting our eyes on Him from the place of our encasement.  Be open to His purposes.

Jmegrey

Morning message to my youth

Hello and good morning my precious, valuable, worth the cross, spiritual family!

Each of us is being transformed today just as we were yesterday and just as we are until we come face to face with Jesus.

"Whoever tries to make his life secure will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it."
-Luke 17:33

Being in Sin is "I" in the center.
Being in God is "others" in the center.

S. I.N. leads to a life:
Stuck
In
Nothing

G.O.D. leads to a life:
Getting
Our
Dream

Obviously I made those acronyms just to help remind us of the truth.

Sin is best defined by its middle letter.
Which is "I"
Sin is when I am all about me.
When all I can do is think about me.
Sin is self-centered behavior,
Sin is self-promoting,
Sin is self-indulging,
Sin is self-ish.
And we were born with a sin-nature.


The Bible says in John 1:29:
"Look, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!"

He took our SIN.
So everyday we are being made into what Christ died to give us: a New nature (His), and giving Him what He took on the cross: our sin.

In this life we'll never get to the point where we are sinless,
but by God's grace,
we will sin LESS.

This is the offer of a life abiding in Christ that leads to true and everlasting life.

Take action in cooperating with the Spirit of truth inside you today:
Who can you be about today at the cost of losing your self to some degree?
Take hold of that transforming opportunity!

Message inspired by Max Lucado's book "Because of Bethlehem"

Be loved by Jesus,
Jmegrey

Listen and understand

“Summoning the crowd, He told them, 

“Listen and understand: 

It’s not what goes into the mouth that defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.” 

Then the disciples came up and told Him, 

"Do You know that the Pharisees took offense when they heard this statement? ” 

He replied, 

“Every plant that My heavenly Father didn’t plant will be uprooted. Leave them alone! They are blind guides. And if the blind guide the blind, both will fall into a pit.” 

Then Peter replied to Him, 

“Explain this parable to us.” 

“Are even you still lacking in understanding? ” 

He asked. 

“Don’t you realize that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is eliminated? But what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and this defiles a man. For from the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, sexual immoralities, thefts, false testimonies, blasphemies. These are the things that defile a man, but eating with unwashed hands does not defile a man.”

Matthew 15:10-20 

--

Jesus is talking about a person's actions in two different ways.  One is the action seen by what one does, the other is the action born of what one thinks.  The former is merely external behavior while the latter stems from what's inside.  

So, what is Jesus saying here?  How can we know what our hearts are like?  By our actions or by our thoughts?  According to this passage it will be by our thoughts.  

This is always unpleasant at first because the lips can lie, but the thoughts speak the ugly truth.  There's something about the veil of thoughts that make them appear harmless, but Jesus blatantly speaks of what we think as being what we truly are.  So, in order to see ourselves more clearly we must examine our thoughts before we examine our actions.  

Knowing what is really in our hearts will allow us to then bring our filth to God for Him to cleanse by the washing of the Word.  

What are you thinking today?  

Now, bring those thoughts to God and let Him wash you in the water of His Word. 

Jmegrey 

To Know God

Psalm 16

What can I say?  God is the best.  I mean I love vegan food, especially vegan food at a high end classy hipster place with good company and great music and fantastic weather while wearing a comfortable yet stylish outfit, but as good as all that feels for me (a mixed bag of good and bad reasons), nothing compares to knowing God.

Nothing in this world compares to knowing God.

Nothing.  And I've had or experienced a lot of good things, but all of those things become memories that are no longer alive.  Everything, but God, has an expiration date.  So although some things are good, they eventually die down, but God is both good and everlasting!  He doesn't just have eternity about Him, He has that goodness of joy and love and peace and passion about Him that makes knowing Him more valuable than all the other shiny things in this world combined!

God is the best. Here is why:

“Protect me, God,
for I take refuge in You."

(God protects me and when God Almighty is protecting me, there's absolutely no fear that is able to stay around or in me because who is strong enough to break past the protection of God Almighty?  If there was something or someone able to do that, then God would cease to be God.  I know God and He is One, there is no other gods beside the One.  I take refuge in Him, and it means I am protected by the strength and power of the One who cannot be over-powered.  I'm dangerously safe because whatever tries to mess with me will be messing with the wrong person.)

"I said to Yahweh, “You are my Lord; I have nothing good besides You.”

(I have nothing good besides my Good Father.  All the seemingly "good" things in this life are exposed as the expiration dates they are when I know and feel the eternal presence of God pulsating in my soul with every beat that pumps out life.  When I taste the love of God all other flavors in this world become bitter in comparison.  When I smell the breath of God all other scents lose their aroma.  When I see the beauty of God all other sights pale in color and radiance.  When I hear the voice of God all other words become dull and meaningless.  I have nothing good apart from having God and when I'm with God I am in possession of what is truly good.  When I come back to God from feeling hurt or disappointed in life, I am reminded of this because His love fills me up with that goodness that makes everything else fade.)

"As for the holy people who are in the land, they are the noble ones.  All my delight is in them."

(When I meet people of God I feel like I'm in the presence of greatness.  The people who walk before God have a royalty about them, they carry with them something that makes being with them like being in the presence of nobility.  I am in awe and have the highest respect for people who love and serve the true King.  Their speech is beautiful, their actions are powerful, and their faces glow with a satisfaction and contentment that speaks volumes about the One they represent.  They are most pleasant to be around.  They contagiously spread joy and hope.)

"The sorrows of those who take another god for themselves will multiply; I will not pour out their drink offerings of blood, and I will not speak their names with my lips."

(When false god's are worshipped or idols are put on the throne of one's heart, sometimes my own, it always leads to multiplied sorrows and never to joy.  When anything or anyone is put before God as the ruler of my free will then I end up with more trouble or more loss because no other gods exist, so trouble given to trouble just multiplies more trouble!  Why give my needs to something that will only cause me to have more needs?  No, these things are useless to turn to, so i will not turn to them, I won't even consider them as an option for healing or help because they have no power and in fact only increase my troubles!)

"Lord, You are my portion and my cup of blessing; You hold my future."

(My future is, to me, very unstable if I were to try and figure it all out myself.  My future would be so scary because of how little I know and how little control I have over external factors, but my future is not held by me.  God holds my future in His hands.  He is moving things, making things, causing things, stopping things, and holding everything in my life to work according to His good and perfect plan for me.  Likewise He is doing that for you since He holds the lives of His own in His Fatherly Creator-hands.  Everything He does is for us and nothing He does is against us.)

"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance."

(Boundary lines.  Ahh the beauty of boundary lines only become apparent when one has crossed them and found only chaos and discontent outside of them.  Imagine eating a cake, but imagine you didn't distinguish the boundary line between where the cake ended and the cardboard piece under it began.  Taking a bite outside the boundary line of the cake would mean biting into a wooden board that would taste awful!  Or imagine hearing a symphony that was playing a piece by Mozart, but instead of staying within the boundary lines of the notes written down they suddenly began playing any other notes than the ones written, a cacophony of random noises that no longer made the beautiful melodies of Mozart's masterpiece.  The boundary lines of life have fallen in beautiful places for us!  Not just about cake or music but about life!  We have been given the beautiful boundary lines for the fullest most excitement packed, passion filled, adventurous and love-full life!  Our lives are given His boundary lines that distinguish between heaven and hell.  And oh how sweet it is to know the way to live and to know the Heaven we have been given!)

I will praise the Lord who counsels me — even at night my conscience instructs me."

(Wisdom is found in the secret place.  Where we wrestle to know His will and to lay down our own in humble submission because we know His ways are higher and His thoughts can comprehend much more than our own.  When we avail our hearts to be soft and malleable rather than hard and stubborn, we open up to wisdom.  We have a Counselor who is wise and who is ready and able to give us wisdom if we will be open to receiving it.)

"I keep the Lord in mind always. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my spirit rejoices; my body also rests securely."

(To keep the Lord in mind always is to have Him before one's eyes at all times as if we are making every decision staring at His face.  We make these decisions with Him, and when we do we rest in Him for the outcome.)

For You will not abandon me to Sheol;
You will not allow Your Faithful One to see decay.

(God had sent His one and only Son to give us the obedience and righteousness of His one and only Son.  We are clothed in the clothes of Christ so that we are in Him, and if in Him then God is now our one and only Father, and we His beloved children in Christ.  If we are in Christ then we are in the One who will never see decay!  We are in His life, and God will never let His one and only Son ever see decay.  We have our home in the safest place.  We live and move and have our existence in the Son of God who is only full of life forever, so that means we are also only existing in life forever.  The treatment of which God treats His one and only Son is given to us since we are in Him.  Everything Jesus inherits becomes what we inherit by being in Him.)

"You reveal the path of life to me;
in Your presence is abundant joy;
in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.”
Psalms 16:1-11

How good it is to know God.

Jmegrey

Sticky hope

Hope is sticky.

“This is what the Lord says: 

In this place, which you say is a ruin, 

without man or beast — that is,

in Judah’s cities and Jerusalem’s streets 

that are a desolation without man, 

without inhabitant, and without beast — 

there will be heard again a sound of joy and gladness, the voice of the groom and the bride, and the voice of those saying, 

Praise the Lord of Hosts, 

for the Lord is good; 

His faithful love endures forever 

as they bring thank offerings to the temple of the Lord. 

For I will restore the fortunes of the land 

as in former times, says the Lord.

“This is what the Lord says: 

If you can break My covenant with the day 

and My covenant with the night 

so that day and night cease to come at their regular time, 

then also My covenant with My servant David may be broken so that he will not have a son reigning on his throne, 

and the Levitical priests will not be My ministers.

This is what the Lord says: 

If I do not keep My covenant with the day 

and with the night and fail to establish the fixed order of heaven and earth, 

then I might also reject the seed of Jacob 

and of My servant David — not taking from his descendants rulers over the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 

Instead, I will restore their fortunes and have compassion on them.”

Jeremiah 33:10-11, 20-21, 25-26

Jeremiah is in the Pit of desolation. 

"there will be heard again a sound of joy"

How sweet are the words spoken like that when you're in the Pit! 

But what if you never fell into despair?  Then would those words still sound as sweet?  Or would they sound "normal" or maybe nonsensical.  Would the sound of hope even have a sounding effect at all? 

The only person who finds hope is the one who is desperately looking for and wanting it.  The trouble with that is that you risk a big disappointment.  Have you ever wanting something so badly, maybe a certain job or meal, only to have your desires crushed within you when you didn't get it?  It feels miserable to have desired so much only to lose so much in return.  And that is the risk we take in experiencing real hope. 

God speaks about His promises to Jeremiah and gives him the assurance of hope by comparing the sureness of it with the sureness of day and night happening.  

"If I do not keep My covenant with the day 

and with the night and fail to establish the fixed order of heaven and earth, 

then I might also reject the seed..."

As surely as you see day or you see night--which is surely seen!--unless and until you stop seeing what is considered day and what is considered night, you can rest assured that My promises are intact.  But if you wake up and there is neither day or night in its proper order then--even then!--it's a maybe that He will forget about His promises.  

"Instead, I will restore their fortunes and have compassion on them."

There is hope in the day and hope in the night if we will not be afraid to desire it. 

This circumstance, feeling, or reality in time is not the final outcome.  This, too, is like the place where Jeremiah heard the voice of God saying "I will restore..." to Israel.  And if He is the God who says that to Israel, how much more will He now say that to us who have been given adoption through the blood of Christ?  We are God's children on a different level than Israel.  Israel was God's chosen people group or nation to make Himself known to the world, but we are God's chosen children by the choice of God to send His one precious and beloved Son to die and give us the blood that cleanses and reconciles us back to God. 

God's character is revealed in the Old Testament, because He is doing things in relation to His chosen people (Israel).  We may not be His chosen nation (as Koreans, Swedes, Afghani's, Chinese, or Dutch, etc) but we are His chosen children!  And how much more will His character keep His promises toward His very own children?   

In other words, let not this world deceive you little children.  The hope you have let it increase with the day and increase with the night, for no other word is true aside from what our God says.  

If you forget how sure you can be about God and His love, joy, peace and glory for you

"there will be heard again a sound of joy and gladness, the voice of the groom and the bride, and the voice of those saying, 

Praise the Lord of Hosts, 

for the Lord is good; 

His faithful love endures forever 

as they bring thank offerings..."

Look outside.  

Do you see the day and know the night is soon to follow or vice versa? 

Then know that God's promises are more sure than that which you see outside. 

If you're in the pit of ruin and desolation, then let hope be harvested to its highest potential.  Let it grow large and terrifying because God will not disappoint.  

Though much in this life will, God has His perfect ways that have you sitting by still waters in the end.  

"God may not spare us from calamities in this life, but He will bring us safely Home to everlasting joy in Him." -John Piper

Remember this life has been bought by the blood of Christ.  You are not your own. 

"for you were bought at a price. 

Therefore glorify God in your body."

(1 Cor. 6:20) 

We are learning to see,

We are learning to hear,

And we are in turn now being made new into the image of Christ.  

This is our great hope, so let it be epic. 

Jmegrey 

Greatest love

What is God's will for my life?

That's the million dollar question because the answer to that is perfection, and if you're type-A like myself then this becomes something you desperately try to get right.  

What makes our work, relationships, and leisure to fall inside or outside of the will of God?  Surely we can't expect to do whatever we want and call that God's will!  That would make us God, which is ludicrous!  So, how do we merge the Sovereignty of God and our free will?  

I've worded this question in so many different ways:

-Where do I end and God begins? 

-Is it possible for me to derail the will of God in my life?

-How much am I supposed to do and how much does God do? 

-How do I begin cooperating with the Holy Spirit?

-Am I really free to make as many mistakes as possible and still remain in Christ? 

-Am I abusing grace?  If so, what is grace? 

-Am I able to change myself or must God first change something in me? 

-What's the sequence of transformation? 

And the list goes on.  

But the main idea is repeated in my heart when I hit that junction in life that makes me ask: "Are You there God?"  When pain collides with His wisdom and I'm sitting in my mess with His perfection.  My mess + His perfection.  Such a strange and dynamic duo.  To feel so hurt, but not harmed.  To be in so much pain, but not abandoned by love.  I wouldn't say it's necessarily fear either, it's just pain.  And pain doesn't necessarily imply fear.  Pain implies hurt, maybe disappointment and/or a jab at my ego or something like an unmet desire, but fear could be totally absent.  

Which makes pain and love soluble.  

If it's pain and fear then that's something different, because fear implies an absence of love.  (1 John 4:18)

So there's pain that has love and pain that does not.  And being able to detect fear makes the difference!  But what we cannot and should not do is throw out pain altogether lest we throw out love along with it!  For without pain there is no love, because if God is love then we can clearly see that He loved us through pain!  

“Who has believed what we have heard? 

And who has the arm of the Lord been revealed to? 

He grew up before Him like a young plant and like a root out of dry ground." (Isaiah 53:1-2a)

-We, too, start out like young plants and we know there is a difference between beautiful plants and withering ones.  We have seen both what it is to flourish and what it is to be in poverty.  There are rich and beautiful people and then there are ugly poor people.  This much is visible and we are exposed to both.  The desire for beauty, youth, good form, and wealth increase our distaste for the opposite.  

We tend to focus on our desires, meanwhile there is another more subtle concoction brewing within us which is our distaste.  

The more we desire something the more our distaste for the opposite increases!  If you desire beauty then your distaste for ugly will match in intensity.  So this is about exposing our distastes via our desires.  To know what we want is pretty easy (beauty, comfort, security, significance, belonging, etc.), but to know what are desires are feeding, namely our growing distaste, will reveal whether or not our pain is the kind with fear or the kind with love.  This is because pain is birthed from discontent, or not getting what you wanted/ or getting something you didn't want, and discontent has to do with unmet desires...which are distasteful in our hearts.  But if we can discover our desires as well as our distastes, and place them under the light of Scripture, we can hold the pain that comes with love and let go of the pain that is with fear.  A life of fear is no life at all, and a life without love is even worse!  Let's look at what love with pain is like according to Scripture so that when it happens to us we can hold it for as long as it persists since it is paired with that great love. 

"He didn’t have an impressive form 

or majesty that we should look at Him, 

no appearance that we should desire Him."

(Isaiah 53:2)

Common Desire: impressive form, beauty that makes people look at us, and ultimately desirability of ourselves to people.  Good appearance.  

Subtle Distaste: to be unimpressive, to have people look away from us, and to be undesirable to people.

Biblical truth:  these common desires in life will experience pain when it's corresponding distastes happens, but this pain is most likely paired with love because Christ also experienced it.  

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was. He was like someone people turned away from; He was despised, and we didn’t value Him."  

(Isaiah 53:3)

Common desire:  Being accepted, a sense of belonging, good health, likability, attraction, and value. 

Subtle distaste:  Being disliked by people, rejection by people, sickness or bad health, and a loss of value in the eyes of others. 

Biblical truth:  the more we desire to be accepted and liked by people the more painful it will be when it doesn't happen.  However, if we endure this pain with our hearts set on knowing Christ through it then it will be paired with that great love.  

"Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses, and He carried our pains; but we in turn regarded Him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted." 

(Isaiah 53:4)

Common desire:  to appear to have God's favor via good health and no burdens weighing us down. 

Subtle distaste:  to be pitied by people.  

Biblical truth:  when our desire to appear "blessed" by others is actually met with their pity this can lead to great pain.  But Christ also endured the pain of pity for the sake of great love.

"But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds." 

(Isaiah 53:5) 

Common desire:  Being without fault, justification by others, to be rewarded and have peace, to be healed. 

Subtle distaste:  to be at fault, to be unjustly blamed, undeserved punishment, a lack of peace, and to be wounded.  

Biblical truth:  pain that comes from being at fault, unjustly blamed, undeserved punishment, lack of peace and wounds by people are also likely paired with that great love and therefore worthy of being endured if we experience it as a means of knowing Christ more.  

"We all went astray like sheep; we all have turned to our own way; and the Lord has punished Him for the iniquity of us all."

(Isaiah 53:6)

Common desire:  getting our way.

Subtle distaste:  not getting our way.

Biblical truth:  we all chose to go our own way, and that way was the wrong way, so the pain of not getting our (wrong) way is good if we look at Christ and what He endured because our ways were all wrong! 

Perhaps I need not continue pointing out the common desires and subtle distastes that are one in the same thing leading either to pain with love (if held under the light of biblical truth) or pain with fear (without biblical truth).  

But the following is a good reminder for what we might expect in this life that leads to that great love if we will hold pain in such a way.  

"He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth. Like a lamb led to the slaughter and like a sheep silent before her shearers, He did not open His mouth."

(Isaiah 53:7)

"He was taken away because of oppression and judgment; and who considered His fate? For He was cut off from the land of the living; He was struck because of my people’s rebellion."

(Isaiah 53:8)

"They made His grave with the wicked and with a rich man at His death, although He had done no violence and had not spoken deceitfully."

(Isaiah 53:9)

"Yet the Lord was pleased to crush Him severely. When You make Him a restitution offering, He will see His seed, He will prolong His days, and by His hand, the Lord’s pleasure will be accomplished."

(Isaiah 53:10)

"He will see it out of His anguish, and He will be satisfied with His knowledge. My righteous Servant will justify many, and He will carry their iniquities."

(Isaiah 53:11)

"Therefore I will give Him the many as a portion, and He will receive the mighty as spoil, because He submitted Himself to death, and was counted among the rebels; yet He bore the sin of many and interceded for the rebels.”

(Isaiah 53:12)

Greatest love:  to know Christ. 

"No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends." 

-John 15:13

--

So the next time you are in pain consider your desires and their corresponding distastes.  And pray to hold pain with love or to let go of pain with fear.   But do not dismiss pain altogether, for to know pain like Christ there comes a great love. 

God's will for your life and mine is to know Christ and this is a process of intimacy that our lives will continue to experience until we see Him face to face. 

"For this is God's will, your sanctification"

1 Thessalonians 4:3a

In other words we are, everyday, being transformed, changed and carved out by God's loving hands.  Sometimes this feels good, and sometimes this hurts.  If we can recognize when it hurts and hold it then we can cooperate with His will leading to our sanctification.  

Just to be more clear, if your pain leads to your empathizing with Christ's pain, and to knowing Him more, then it will lead to love, but if your pain does not look at Christ at all it will be a wasted pain without love.  

I may not know why pain happens at certain times or in certain circumstances, but all I can know for sure is that He is not done perfecting me yet.  

Jmegrey 

Training dogs and children

“Lord, You light my lamp; 

my God illuminates my darkness.”

Psalms 18:28

The Father approaches...

When I had a dog, his name was Linus, and he wasn't fully potty-trained.  But he knew that peeing in the house was bad because when he did it I would get visibly upset and he could sense that someone wasn't "happy."  It took him a while to connect his peeing with my unhappiness, but even after he kind of got the clue, (because when he would pee he would slink away in guilt) he would then use that against me by peeing all around the house when I left him home alone.  I felt like this was him telling me off or reacting to my absence in a way that he knew would get my attention once I got home.  He knew hat when I approached him after being out all day, I would be exasperated with him.  I wanted to come home and feed him and cuddle him and play with him, but this got difficult to do when I had my hands full of cleaning up after his dirty business.  I would clean it up and be tired.  I wished he could have been patient--or peed on the doggie pads so that when I got home the house would be clean and we could play.  But he probably doesn't think deeply as I do about the matter.  Animals are reactionary, not responsible.  They do from what they feel--impulsively--until they either give up or get a clue.  Both of those resolutions, however, arrive by a process called training.  

I know this process because it's what God puts me through to expose my animalistic instincts.  I react to how I feel when God "leaves" and basically doesn't give me what I feel like.  If I want passion I expect Him to deliver, if excitement then He better give it, if love and security then it couldn't come sooner.  I want, and I want it NOW.  Obviously I don't always get what I want when I want it because I'm not the Master.  So, in my training when I have been "left home alone" then when God shows up He cleans up my mess.  I can shirk away in shame or I can use each experience to bring me closer to clarity.  The clarity that He is master and I'm His beloved.  The clarity that what He wants is not only good but it's also what will bring me greater joy.  If I can endure past my feelings of wanting what I want all the time--for the sake of trusting what He wants as better and even perfect for me--then I will begin to get a clue.  

It's like training a dog.  

The difference between training a dog and training a child is one thing:  the child benefits way more if they get it.  Or at least they should in a psychologically healthy household, haha. 

But both go through it.  Because the Master trains for different purposes.  Parents train dogs to be good pets, but they train children to have a good life beyond the years of living under their roof.  

Likewise, how much more does our Heavenly Father know what He's doing when He approaches us?  Get it out of your heads that He will leave because a real father never leaves a child--a Good Father never stops loving His child.  This isn't about good behavior and bad behavior.  This is about being given a way to flourish.  Instead consider His ways as training for you to understand.  We are in His household, not the other way around.  We come from sin and death, but He adopts us into His home of life and eternity.  

So He approaches us today. 

We might feel like slinking away like Linus after he peed all over the house, or we could maybe get a clue about how impulsive we are when we don't get our way.  So that, the next time around we can hold off on venting our feelings in disastrous ways and wait for God to come home and comfort us with His presence.  

Jmegrey 

Father-child

"If God leads you to walk a way that you know, it will not benefit you as much as if He would lead you to take the way that you do not know. 

This forces you to have hundreds and thousands of conversations with Him, resulting in a journey that is an everlasting memorial between you and Him. 

Your leader will lead you to walk an untrodden way to go down a path you never dreamed of. He is afraid of nothing and wishes you to be afraid of nothing also. 

He is with you. 

In desperate situations it is His joy to see His children grasping His hands."

-Watchman Nee

--

Words escape me.

Sometimes God just wants you to squeeze His hand and follow Him into the unknown. 

Perhaps He's getting you to ask questions.

Perhaps He's bringing you to see things you've never seen before. 

Maybe He is taking you somewhere you've been praying to be.

Wherever you are, He is with you and He is your Father.  

Fathers hold the hands of their children on journeys like these because this is a together thing.  

Jmegrey 

Reminder to my youth family

(I frequently send out brief messages to my youth kids in the form of daily devotionals, words of encouragement and/or insightful things I feel God wants me to share and sometimes it's so good I need to save it in my blog for when I need the reminder myself.  Here is one I got from my studying theology this morning.) 

Morning youth,

We continually renew our decision to follow Christ each day.  It will not be something automatic (like the other habits in our lives are).  We must "deliberately return again and again, each day and each moment of the day, to the one true starting point."

We must abide in the love of Jesus as Jesus does in the love of the Father. 

This "abiding" means "holding on loyally to the decision once taken, and one can only hold on to it by continually going through it again." But this is not just a continual being "for", but a being "from"--not the holding of a position but an allowing oneself to be held. That is why Jesus says abide in Me AND I in you (John 15:4)

"But love will be expressed--can only be expressed-in obedience.  Jesus' "abiding" in the Father's love was expressed in his obedience.  Jesus had no program of his own.  He sought no "identity" for himself, no "image".  He simply responded...simply responded...in loving obedience to the will of his Father AS IT WAS PRESENTED TO HIM IN ALL THE ACCIDENTS, contingencies, and INTERRUPTIONS of daily life.  Only thus did Jesus "abide" in the love of the Father.

The disciple will "learn obedience" by following Jesus in the same kind of moment-by-moment obedience to the will of the Father AS IT IS DISCLOSED in the contingent happenings of daily life in the PLACE AND TIME WHERE GOD HAS PUT HIM. 

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:35

Let not the daily things shake you today beloved sisters and brothers.  But know that God is the Gardener and He does only what will make you flourish, so remain in Him whether today is a day of bearing fruit or of being pruned!  Let us learn obedience as a being from not a being for.  From love within.  Not for love without.  

Love you guys. 

(I got this from Lesslie Newbigin's book titled: "the Light has come" -commentary on the gospel of John,  if y'all are interested in reading it I highly recommend it!)

Greater grace

"The great danger of an underdeveloped sense of grace is that you rapidly waiver between pharisaical self righteousness and a terrifying realization that you will never be good enough for God."

I can't.

I can't Lord.

I can't. 

I know I'll never be good enough. 

But I did.

You did it for me.

You were there and saw me, and rescued me.

You gave me Your good and made me good too.

“But He gives greater grace. 

Therefore He says: 

God resists the proud, 

but gives grace to the humble.

Draw near to God, 

and He will draw near to you. 

Cleanse your hands, sinners, 

and purify your hearts, double-minded people! 

Be miserable and mourn and weep. 

Your laughter must change to mourning 

and your joy to sorrow. 

Humble yourselves before the Lord, 

and He will exalt you.”

James 4:6, 8-10

I tried so hard to be good, I knew all the words to say and the thoughts to think, but my heart was so obviously and violently in opposition to that goodness.  It was unattainable.  I couldn't will myself to be good, even though I wanted to.

And there it was.

Grace came like a cloud over the sun to shield me from the burn.  

I was broken and messy, utterly exposed to my shame--and there You were Lord. 

I hate seeing how petty I am, how bad I am, how I hate that I am a certain way, but there I was in all my monstrosity like a feral creature emerging from a cave into civilization.  

So I did the only thing I could with You in that moment, I cried.  Because what else could I do?  My heart was bleeding out and there was nothing but a miracle that could stop the bleeding.  I wasn't going to save myself.  I wanted You to save me, and You did.  

You always save me.  Even when it hurts. 

I know it's going to hurt with each turn of my heart towards You, and I may never stop having puffy eyes, but give me greater grace to stay in it.  To remember what grace means and how much of it You give to me.  I need You. 

Teach me this greater grace. 

 Thank You Lord.

Jmegrey

Lead me back home.

Perhaps...

Lately I catch myself referring to God in the third person as if I am talking about Him rather than to Him.  I used to connect with God quite easily, and perhaps I now see how I may have taken those moments for granted!  So here I go with an intention to reconnect with God.

Lord,

You see me and You know every thought I hold--even the ones that do not hold tight to You at the center. My sin and guilt and shame are before me and You are aware of all my broken shards.  You walk with me in the swamps of my fear, You sit with me in the marshes of my shame, and You speak to my ears even when I try not to hear.  You pursue me.  You are never too tired of me.  Your love breaks past all my defenses and You rescue me...from my self.

“You observe my travels and my rest; 

You are aware of all my ways.”

Psalms 139:3

“You have encircled me; 

You have placed Your hand on me.”

Psalms 139:5

I do not escape Your loving hold on me. 

I cannot and will not escape Your hold on me.

Your hold steadies me, even when my heart is far from You...Your heart stays strong in me. 

You beat in me and I am set free from the cold-heartedness of me.  You alone can do such a thing as to love me so unconditionally.  You create in me a new heart by the power of Your love.

“This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?”

Psalms 139:6-7

When I find my heart has wandered to the farthest limits--in lands of busyness, idolatry, apathy and uncertainty--You are there ready to guide me back into the safety and warmth of Your kingdom.  You find me wherever I am and You bring me home.  

“even there Your hand will lead me; 

Your right hand will hold on to me.”

Psalms 139:10

I am never too far from You to lead me back home. 

“God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with You.”

Psalms 139:17-18

When I wake up, I am still with You.  

Even though I don't understand all of You, and there is still so much to know about You, when I wake up, there You are... right by my side.  I have an eternity to know You. 

“Search me, God, and know my heart; 

test me and know my concerns. 

See if there is any offensive way in me; 

lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalms 139:23-24

Test me and know my concerns God.  Reveal to me what truly lies beneath the layers of my heart--the hidden things inside that hide behind facades and feelings--bring them into the light so that I may discover anything that is keeping me from fully giving my life to You.  I want You, all of me to be all in You.  So search me today Lord.  Lead me back home. 

Painful pursuing until the day I die

“Lord, You are my portion 

and my cup of blessing; 

You hold my future. 

The boundary lines have fallen for me 

in pleasant places; indeed, 

I have a beautiful inheritance.

Therefore my heart is glad 

and my spirit rejoices; 

my body also rests securely.

You reveal the path of life to me; 

in Your presence is abundant joy; 

in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.”

Psalms 16:5-6, 9, 11

Indeed I have a beautiful inheritance, but boy does it start to feel like quite the opposite in my body when I do what God wants.  It feels like death is waiting to swallow me up, that I will be losing big time or that I'll miss out on something truly beautiful.  But indeed I have a beautiful inheritance when I consider what Jesus has given me.  Now my future forever is held by a Father who loves me, promised by His Son who died for me, and everyday and every night I'm fighting to believe it's all true. 

These boundary lines have fallen in beautiful places, because they mean life for me.  Just as signal lights make driving in America a safe and efficient way to get from place to place, so too God's ways for what we should or shouldn't do are there to give our lives depth, meaning and richness of life.  The areas that are off limits (the ones we often want to cross for the sake of practicing our freedom) are off limits because they're bad for us.  God loves us and tells us what's good and what's bad.  He isn't just limiting our freedom by setting boundaries, but He is increasing our joy in doing so.  I see it as a loss because sin is enticing and my freedom to cross the line is ravenous for power, but when I read passages like this it reminds me that it is for my pleasure and my joy to be made more full that God wants me to stay out of these areas.  

My heart is not always glad,

My spirit is not always rejoicing 

And my body is not always resting securely.  Quite the opposite actually.  

Maybe my problem has more to do with not wanting joy. 

I know what's good yet I choose the bad.

I choose to not invest in my joy. 

“For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions operated through the law in every part of us and bore fruit for death.”

Romans 7:5

This still occurs to an extent.

As opposed to not occurring at all anymore. 

It's still habitual. 

“For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me, and through it killed me.”

Romans 7:11

Sin will use what is good to trick me by turning it into something it's not. 

God's commands are good, but sin distorts it to look like it's bad, and sin will make what is bad for me look as if it were good.

How can I trust what I see then?  Or trust what I feel? Or trust anything for that matter?  All I have is God's Word to guide me.  But I'm not quite there yet...to be able to just trust and obey His Word. 

Then again I know my default disposition is to not trust myself, so perhaps God is calling me to trust that He is with me in my decision making.  So that every choice I make is made confidently in Him by following His Word confidently.  

And when I mess up I have the cross ever before me.  

“So then, the law is holy, 

and the commandment is holy and just 

and good.”

Romans 7:12

The boundary lines are good.

The constraints are good. 

The off limits signs are trustworthy and good.

The obstacle in my way of getting what I feel or want is good. 

The pain is good. 

These seemingly "bad" things are more truly good though I do not feel or see them to be so.  I have the knowledge of truth, of good and evil, but not the will to live it our correctly. 

“Therefore, did what is good cause my death? Absolutely not! On the contrary, sin, in order to be recognized as sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that through the commandment, sin might become sinful beyond measure.”

Romans 7:13

Sin is a distortion of something good. 

That's what makes sin so evil, it takes what is good and turns it into evil. 

Good desires are used to produce evil cravings. 

Good intents are used to produce evil motives. 

Good gifts are used to produce evil uses. 

Good goals are used to produce evil methods. 

Good things are used to produce evil things. 

“For we know that the law is spiritual, 

but I am made out of flesh, 

sold into sin’s power.”

Romans 7:14

My flesh is a slave to sin.  Sin owns my flesh. 

But I am not just flesh, I have spirit too. 

So part of me is a slave to sin, and this is the part that is being put to death each day.  This is also the part of me that will never be fully dead until I physically die (of old age or sickness or murder).  So in a way, I will be fighting until the day I die--not because sin is so powerful but because the gift of life is so good.  The more good I find in the gift of God and the more I desire it the less I will desire whatever is contrary.  Therefore, naturally I will find myself fighting until the day I die.  Actively fighting sin not so much because of how strong or bad it is--in fact I would not think much of sin at all--but it is the desire of the good gift that will be the strongest victory.  The more I desire God the more I will actively kill sin in my life if it means having more of God.  

So then, I see that my desire for God is precious and to be protected and cultivated.  The art of desiring God...is where my true training is.  Learning how and what stir my affections for Him.  Finding ways to fall more deeply in love with Him as opposed to waiting the feelings to just happen to me.  

I guess this changes something in me...I thought you couldn't help who you loved but I think you can.  It's a choice. 

“For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate.

For I know that Nothing Good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.”

Romans 7:15, 18

In me lives two persons: Nothing Good and Holy Spirit. 

Nothing Good has no ability to do anything good. Rather Nothing Good continues to do only what I do not want to keep doing because it can do only that. 

“Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me. So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is with me. For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God’s law.”

Romans 7:20-22

Whenever I set out to do Good, Nothing Good is there in me as well.  For in my inner self I have knowledge of what is good and what is evil and I agree that God's law is good despite living with Nothing Good in me. 

“But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body.”

Romans 7:23

What I know in my head is in battle with what my actions actually begin doing.  I am full of the right knowledge of God in my mind, but members of my body war against my knowledge and make me captive to sin.  

“What a wretched man I am! 

Who will rescue me from this dying body?”

Romans 7:24

I continue to lose many battles!  My head knows what is right, but my body will not submit to it! I end up being a slave to sin and death lurks at the end! Because sin leads to death and destruction. 

“I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh, to the law of sin.”

Romans 7:25

“Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus,”

Romans 8:1

I am without sin's punishment of death because Christ defeated Death by taking all sin upon Himself.  But if all sin was taken then do all go to eternal life?  No, only those who believe this gospel truth will go.  In my heart I believe.  I believe Jesus has done this great thing for me, so great that I will fight sin until the day I die. 

Though I will fail, I will never stop believing and fighting for the truth, fighting to kill sin and pursuing intimacy with God. 

Jmegrey

For Joy!

God only knows...seriously.  Haha. 

Every day I am thinking about what to do or why things are the way they are, trying to solve problems both present and possibly in the future to prevent them.  I get caught up in my thoughts that I often forget to pause in the humility of being human and look up at Love and the outcome which is always in the face of my Savior, Jesus.  

Perhaps I have been called to be a thinker or a vessel of knowledge and teaching, which is why I am more inclined to think, but even so I must remember that every gift is purposed by God to be used for His will.  This means that His thoughts matter and the only way I will know what they are is to listen to them--which often require me to set my own to silence.  

I may get distracted by the euphoria of knowledge because in the past it has awakened new passions in me--and I love exciting things that bring me to see more clearly and definitely--yet this has a tendency to backfire when my focus shifts from the Giver of those passions to the means by which they came.  Knowledge is only good if it brings me joy.  Otherwise it's just something I possess, and I could posses many things in life but what I want is joy.  No amount of knowledge, money or beauty could provide me with joy unless the source of joy is using these means to give them to me.  God can use anything to give me joy.  

Hemp milk lattes, theology books, people, mountains, kisses, vegan food, bicycles, naps and moments of clarity have all been some of the means by which God has used to send me His delight and my joy.  

But one thing remains true:  

Everlasting joy comes from God.  

“But beyond these, my son, 

be warned: 

there is no end to the making of many books, 

and much study wearies the body. 

When all has been heard, 

the conclusion of the matter is: 

fear God and keep His commands, 

because this is for all humanity. 

For God will bring every act to judgment, 

including every hidden thing, 

whether good or evil.”

Ecclesiastes 12:12-14

His joy, His truth.  His ways, His thoughts, Him. 

He is the one we approach for every joy.  

All other joys may parade as everlasting, they may appear sexy or desirable at any given moment, but I know in my heart that the truth of joy is that it can only be everlasting by the Creator of joy.  If God can speak joy into existence then so long as God has the power to be God joy will be His to provide. 

My struggle is for joy.  

Everyday we desire to protect ourselves from a loss or lack of joy by turning to comfort or habit, food or sex, beauty or money, etc, and it's here in the pause that we remember the truth about joy.  

That sometimes we suffer for the joy set before us.  As our perfect example showed us:

"keeping our eyes on Jesus, 

the source and perfecter of our faith, 

who for the joy that lay before Him 

endured a cross 

and despised the shame 

and has sat down 

at the right hand of God's throne."

-Hebrews 12:2

“For consider Him 

who endured such hostility from sinners 

against Himself, 

so that you won’t grow weary and lose heart. 

In struggling against sin, 

you have not yet resisted 

to the point of shedding your blood. 

And you have forgotten the exhortation 

that addresses you as sons: 

My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly 

or faint when you are reproved by Him, 

for the Lord disciplines the one He loves 

and punishes every son He receives. 

Endure suffering as discipline: 

God is dealing with you as sons. 

For what son is there that a father does not discipline?”

Hebrews 12:3-7

Joy is what I want.  

And in the suffering of getting it I am learning to see that joy is always what I am being given day by day.  Feelings are not joy, because feelings are fleeting.  Joy is knowing who you belong to and who cares for you and who loves you.  Joy is remaining in God's will.  

In the end all of life and humanity will reveal the only everlasting joy.  

None will compare to meeting God face to face and hearing the words of our King:

"Well done, good and faithful servant. 

You have been faithful over a little; 

I will set you over much. 

Enter into the joy of your master."

(Matt. 25:23) 

For the joy set ahead, and entering into joy, 

take heart believer.

Jmegrey