Sticky hope

Hope is sticky.

“This is what the Lord says: 

In this place, which you say is a ruin, 

without man or beast — that is,

in Judah’s cities and Jerusalem’s streets 

that are a desolation without man, 

without inhabitant, and without beast — 

there will be heard again a sound of joy and gladness, the voice of the groom and the bride, and the voice of those saying, 

Praise the Lord of Hosts, 

for the Lord is good; 

His faithful love endures forever 

as they bring thank offerings to the temple of the Lord. 

For I will restore the fortunes of the land 

as in former times, says the Lord.

“This is what the Lord says: 

If you can break My covenant with the day 

and My covenant with the night 

so that day and night cease to come at their regular time, 

then also My covenant with My servant David may be broken so that he will not have a son reigning on his throne, 

and the Levitical priests will not be My ministers.

This is what the Lord says: 

If I do not keep My covenant with the day 

and with the night and fail to establish the fixed order of heaven and earth, 

then I might also reject the seed of Jacob 

and of My servant David — not taking from his descendants rulers over the descendants of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 

Instead, I will restore their fortunes and have compassion on them.”

Jeremiah 33:10-11, 20-21, 25-26

Jeremiah is in the Pit of desolation. 

"there will be heard again a sound of joy"

How sweet are the words spoken like that when you're in the Pit! 

But what if you never fell into despair?  Then would those words still sound as sweet?  Or would they sound "normal" or maybe nonsensical.  Would the sound of hope even have a sounding effect at all? 

The only person who finds hope is the one who is desperately looking for and wanting it.  The trouble with that is that you risk a big disappointment.  Have you ever wanting something so badly, maybe a certain job or meal, only to have your desires crushed within you when you didn't get it?  It feels miserable to have desired so much only to lose so much in return.  And that is the risk we take in experiencing real hope. 

God speaks about His promises to Jeremiah and gives him the assurance of hope by comparing the sureness of it with the sureness of day and night happening.  

"If I do not keep My covenant with the day 

and with the night and fail to establish the fixed order of heaven and earth, 

then I might also reject the seed..."

As surely as you see day or you see night--which is surely seen!--unless and until you stop seeing what is considered day and what is considered night, you can rest assured that My promises are intact.  But if you wake up and there is neither day or night in its proper order then--even then!--it's a maybe that He will forget about His promises.  

"Instead, I will restore their fortunes and have compassion on them."

There is hope in the day and hope in the night if we will not be afraid to desire it. 

This circumstance, feeling, or reality in time is not the final outcome.  This, too, is like the place where Jeremiah heard the voice of God saying "I will restore..." to Israel.  And if He is the God who says that to Israel, how much more will He now say that to us who have been given adoption through the blood of Christ?  We are God's children on a different level than Israel.  Israel was God's chosen people group or nation to make Himself known to the world, but we are God's chosen children by the choice of God to send His one precious and beloved Son to die and give us the blood that cleanses and reconciles us back to God. 

God's character is revealed in the Old Testament, because He is doing things in relation to His chosen people (Israel).  We may not be His chosen nation (as Koreans, Swedes, Afghani's, Chinese, or Dutch, etc) but we are His chosen children!  And how much more will His character keep His promises toward His very own children?   

In other words, let not this world deceive you little children.  The hope you have let it increase with the day and increase with the night, for no other word is true aside from what our God says.  

If you forget how sure you can be about God and His love, joy, peace and glory for you

"there will be heard again a sound of joy and gladness, the voice of the groom and the bride, and the voice of those saying, 

Praise the Lord of Hosts, 

for the Lord is good; 

His faithful love endures forever 

as they bring thank offerings..."

Look outside.  

Do you see the day and know the night is soon to follow or vice versa? 

Then know that God's promises are more sure than that which you see outside. 

If you're in the pit of ruin and desolation, then let hope be harvested to its highest potential.  Let it grow large and terrifying because God will not disappoint.  

Though much in this life will, God has His perfect ways that have you sitting by still waters in the end.  

"God may not spare us from calamities in this life, but He will bring us safely Home to everlasting joy in Him." -John Piper

Remember this life has been bought by the blood of Christ.  You are not your own. 

"for you were bought at a price. 

Therefore glorify God in your body."

(1 Cor. 6:20) 

We are learning to see,

We are learning to hear,

And we are in turn now being made new into the image of Christ.  

This is our great hope, so let it be epic. 

Jmegrey 

Greatest love

What is God's will for my life?

That's the million dollar question because the answer to that is perfection, and if you're type-A like myself then this becomes something you desperately try to get right.  

What makes our work, relationships, and leisure to fall inside or outside of the will of God?  Surely we can't expect to do whatever we want and call that God's will!  That would make us God, which is ludicrous!  So, how do we merge the Sovereignty of God and our free will?  

I've worded this question in so many different ways:

-Where do I end and God begins? 

-Is it possible for me to derail the will of God in my life?

-How much am I supposed to do and how much does God do? 

-How do I begin cooperating with the Holy Spirit?

-Am I really free to make as many mistakes as possible and still remain in Christ? 

-Am I abusing grace?  If so, what is grace? 

-Am I able to change myself or must God first change something in me? 

-What's the sequence of transformation? 

And the list goes on.  

But the main idea is repeated in my heart when I hit that junction in life that makes me ask: "Are You there God?"  When pain collides with His wisdom and I'm sitting in my mess with His perfection.  My mess + His perfection.  Such a strange and dynamic duo.  To feel so hurt, but not harmed.  To be in so much pain, but not abandoned by love.  I wouldn't say it's necessarily fear either, it's just pain.  And pain doesn't necessarily imply fear.  Pain implies hurt, maybe disappointment and/or a jab at my ego or something like an unmet desire, but fear could be totally absent.  

Which makes pain and love soluble.  

If it's pain and fear then that's something different, because fear implies an absence of love.  (1 John 4:18)

So there's pain that has love and pain that does not.  And being able to detect fear makes the difference!  But what we cannot and should not do is throw out pain altogether lest we throw out love along with it!  For without pain there is no love, because if God is love then we can clearly see that He loved us through pain!  

“Who has believed what we have heard? 

And who has the arm of the Lord been revealed to? 

He grew up before Him like a young plant and like a root out of dry ground." (Isaiah 53:1-2a)

-We, too, start out like young plants and we know there is a difference between beautiful plants and withering ones.  We have seen both what it is to flourish and what it is to be in poverty.  There are rich and beautiful people and then there are ugly poor people.  This much is visible and we are exposed to both.  The desire for beauty, youth, good form, and wealth increase our distaste for the opposite.  

We tend to focus on our desires, meanwhile there is another more subtle concoction brewing within us which is our distaste.  

The more we desire something the more our distaste for the opposite increases!  If you desire beauty then your distaste for ugly will match in intensity.  So this is about exposing our distastes via our desires.  To know what we want is pretty easy (beauty, comfort, security, significance, belonging, etc.), but to know what are desires are feeding, namely our growing distaste, will reveal whether or not our pain is the kind with fear or the kind with love.  This is because pain is birthed from discontent, or not getting what you wanted/ or getting something you didn't want, and discontent has to do with unmet desires...which are distasteful in our hearts.  But if we can discover our desires as well as our distastes, and place them under the light of Scripture, we can hold the pain that comes with love and let go of the pain that is with fear.  A life of fear is no life at all, and a life without love is even worse!  Let's look at what love with pain is like according to Scripture so that when it happens to us we can hold it for as long as it persists since it is paired with that great love. 

"He didn’t have an impressive form 

or majesty that we should look at Him, 

no appearance that we should desire Him."

(Isaiah 53:2)

Common Desire: impressive form, beauty that makes people look at us, and ultimately desirability of ourselves to people.  Good appearance.  

Subtle Distaste: to be unimpressive, to have people look away from us, and to be undesirable to people.

Biblical truth:  these common desires in life will experience pain when it's corresponding distastes happens, but this pain is most likely paired with love because Christ also experienced it.  

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was. He was like someone people turned away from; He was despised, and we didn’t value Him."  

(Isaiah 53:3)

Common desire:  Being accepted, a sense of belonging, good health, likability, attraction, and value. 

Subtle distaste:  Being disliked by people, rejection by people, sickness or bad health, and a loss of value in the eyes of others. 

Biblical truth:  the more we desire to be accepted and liked by people the more painful it will be when it doesn't happen.  However, if we endure this pain with our hearts set on knowing Christ through it then it will be paired with that great love.  

"Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses, and He carried our pains; but we in turn regarded Him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted." 

(Isaiah 53:4)

Common desire:  to appear to have God's favor via good health and no burdens weighing us down. 

Subtle distaste:  to be pitied by people.  

Biblical truth:  when our desire to appear "blessed" by others is actually met with their pity this can lead to great pain.  But Christ also endured the pain of pity for the sake of great love.

"But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds." 

(Isaiah 53:5) 

Common desire:  Being without fault, justification by others, to be rewarded and have peace, to be healed. 

Subtle distaste:  to be at fault, to be unjustly blamed, undeserved punishment, a lack of peace, and to be wounded.  

Biblical truth:  pain that comes from being at fault, unjustly blamed, undeserved punishment, lack of peace and wounds by people are also likely paired with that great love and therefore worthy of being endured if we experience it as a means of knowing Christ more.  

"We all went astray like sheep; we all have turned to our own way; and the Lord has punished Him for the iniquity of us all."

(Isaiah 53:6)

Common desire:  getting our way.

Subtle distaste:  not getting our way.

Biblical truth:  we all chose to go our own way, and that way was the wrong way, so the pain of not getting our (wrong) way is good if we look at Christ and what He endured because our ways were all wrong! 

Perhaps I need not continue pointing out the common desires and subtle distastes that are one in the same thing leading either to pain with love (if held under the light of biblical truth) or pain with fear (without biblical truth).  

But the following is a good reminder for what we might expect in this life that leads to that great love if we will hold pain in such a way.  

"He was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open His mouth. Like a lamb led to the slaughter and like a sheep silent before her shearers, He did not open His mouth."

(Isaiah 53:7)

"He was taken away because of oppression and judgment; and who considered His fate? For He was cut off from the land of the living; He was struck because of my people’s rebellion."

(Isaiah 53:8)

"They made His grave with the wicked and with a rich man at His death, although He had done no violence and had not spoken deceitfully."

(Isaiah 53:9)

"Yet the Lord was pleased to crush Him severely. When You make Him a restitution offering, He will see His seed, He will prolong His days, and by His hand, the Lord’s pleasure will be accomplished."

(Isaiah 53:10)

"He will see it out of His anguish, and He will be satisfied with His knowledge. My righteous Servant will justify many, and He will carry their iniquities."

(Isaiah 53:11)

"Therefore I will give Him the many as a portion, and He will receive the mighty as spoil, because He submitted Himself to death, and was counted among the rebels; yet He bore the sin of many and interceded for the rebels.”

(Isaiah 53:12)

Greatest love:  to know Christ. 

"No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends." 

-John 15:13

--

So the next time you are in pain consider your desires and their corresponding distastes.  And pray to hold pain with love or to let go of pain with fear.   But do not dismiss pain altogether, for to know pain like Christ there comes a great love. 

God's will for your life and mine is to know Christ and this is a process of intimacy that our lives will continue to experience until we see Him face to face. 

"For this is God's will, your sanctification"

1 Thessalonians 4:3a

In other words we are, everyday, being transformed, changed and carved out by God's loving hands.  Sometimes this feels good, and sometimes this hurts.  If we can recognize when it hurts and hold it then we can cooperate with His will leading to our sanctification.  

Just to be more clear, if your pain leads to your empathizing with Christ's pain, and to knowing Him more, then it will lead to love, but if your pain does not look at Christ at all it will be a wasted pain without love.  

I may not know why pain happens at certain times or in certain circumstances, but all I can know for sure is that He is not done perfecting me yet.  

Jmegrey 

Training dogs and children

“Lord, You light my lamp; 

my God illuminates my darkness.”

Psalms 18:28

The Father approaches...

When I had a dog, his name was Linus, and he wasn't fully potty-trained.  But he knew that peeing in the house was bad because when he did it I would get visibly upset and he could sense that someone wasn't "happy."  It took him a while to connect his peeing with my unhappiness, but even after he kind of got the clue, (because when he would pee he would slink away in guilt) he would then use that against me by peeing all around the house when I left him home alone.  I felt like this was him telling me off or reacting to my absence in a way that he knew would get my attention once I got home.  He knew hat when I approached him after being out all day, I would be exasperated with him.  I wanted to come home and feed him and cuddle him and play with him, but this got difficult to do when I had my hands full of cleaning up after his dirty business.  I would clean it up and be tired.  I wished he could have been patient--or peed on the doggie pads so that when I got home the house would be clean and we could play.  But he probably doesn't think deeply as I do about the matter.  Animals are reactionary, not responsible.  They do from what they feel--impulsively--until they either give up or get a clue.  Both of those resolutions, however, arrive by a process called training.  

I know this process because it's what God puts me through to expose my animalistic instincts.  I react to how I feel when God "leaves" and basically doesn't give me what I feel like.  If I want passion I expect Him to deliver, if excitement then He better give it, if love and security then it couldn't come sooner.  I want, and I want it NOW.  Obviously I don't always get what I want when I want it because I'm not the Master.  So, in my training when I have been "left home alone" then when God shows up He cleans up my mess.  I can shirk away in shame or I can use each experience to bring me closer to clarity.  The clarity that He is master and I'm His beloved.  The clarity that what He wants is not only good but it's also what will bring me greater joy.  If I can endure past my feelings of wanting what I want all the time--for the sake of trusting what He wants as better and even perfect for me--then I will begin to get a clue.  

It's like training a dog.  

The difference between training a dog and training a child is one thing:  the child benefits way more if they get it.  Or at least they should in a psychologically healthy household, haha. 

But both go through it.  Because the Master trains for different purposes.  Parents train dogs to be good pets, but they train children to have a good life beyond the years of living under their roof.  

Likewise, how much more does our Heavenly Father know what He's doing when He approaches us?  Get it out of your heads that He will leave because a real father never leaves a child--a Good Father never stops loving His child.  This isn't about good behavior and bad behavior.  This is about being given a way to flourish.  Instead consider His ways as training for you to understand.  We are in His household, not the other way around.  We come from sin and death, but He adopts us into His home of life and eternity.  

So He approaches us today. 

We might feel like slinking away like Linus after he peed all over the house, or we could maybe get a clue about how impulsive we are when we don't get our way.  So that, the next time around we can hold off on venting our feelings in disastrous ways and wait for God to come home and comfort us with His presence.  

Jmegrey 

Father-child

"If God leads you to walk a way that you know, it will not benefit you as much as if He would lead you to take the way that you do not know. 

This forces you to have hundreds and thousands of conversations with Him, resulting in a journey that is an everlasting memorial between you and Him. 

Your leader will lead you to walk an untrodden way to go down a path you never dreamed of. He is afraid of nothing and wishes you to be afraid of nothing also. 

He is with you. 

In desperate situations it is His joy to see His children grasping His hands."

-Watchman Nee

--

Words escape me.

Sometimes God just wants you to squeeze His hand and follow Him into the unknown. 

Perhaps He's getting you to ask questions.

Perhaps He's bringing you to see things you've never seen before. 

Maybe He is taking you somewhere you've been praying to be.

Wherever you are, He is with you and He is your Father.  

Fathers hold the hands of their children on journeys like these because this is a together thing.  

Jmegrey 

Reminder to my youth family

(I frequently send out brief messages to my youth kids in the form of daily devotionals, words of encouragement and/or insightful things I feel God wants me to share and sometimes it's so good I need to save it in my blog for when I need the reminder myself.  Here is one I got from my studying theology this morning.) 

Morning youth,

We continually renew our decision to follow Christ each day.  It will not be something automatic (like the other habits in our lives are).  We must "deliberately return again and again, each day and each moment of the day, to the one true starting point."

We must abide in the love of Jesus as Jesus does in the love of the Father. 

This "abiding" means "holding on loyally to the decision once taken, and one can only hold on to it by continually going through it again." But this is not just a continual being "for", but a being "from"--not the holding of a position but an allowing oneself to be held. That is why Jesus says abide in Me AND I in you (John 15:4)

"But love will be expressed--can only be expressed-in obedience.  Jesus' "abiding" in the Father's love was expressed in his obedience.  Jesus had no program of his own.  He sought no "identity" for himself, no "image".  He simply responded...simply responded...in loving obedience to the will of his Father AS IT WAS PRESENTED TO HIM IN ALL THE ACCIDENTS, contingencies, and INTERRUPTIONS of daily life.  Only thus did Jesus "abide" in the love of the Father.

The disciple will "learn obedience" by following Jesus in the same kind of moment-by-moment obedience to the will of the Father AS IT IS DISCLOSED in the contingent happenings of daily life in the PLACE AND TIME WHERE GOD HAS PUT HIM. 

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:35

Let not the daily things shake you today beloved sisters and brothers.  But know that God is the Gardener and He does only what will make you flourish, so remain in Him whether today is a day of bearing fruit or of being pruned!  Let us learn obedience as a being from not a being for.  From love within.  Not for love without.  

Love you guys. 

(I got this from Lesslie Newbigin's book titled: "the Light has come" -commentary on the gospel of John,  if y'all are interested in reading it I highly recommend it!)

Greater grace

"The great danger of an underdeveloped sense of grace is that you rapidly waiver between pharisaical self righteousness and a terrifying realization that you will never be good enough for God."

I can't.

I can't Lord.

I can't. 

I know I'll never be good enough. 

But I did.

You did it for me.

You were there and saw me, and rescued me.

You gave me Your good and made me good too.

“But He gives greater grace. 

Therefore He says: 

God resists the proud, 

but gives grace to the humble.

Draw near to God, 

and He will draw near to you. 

Cleanse your hands, sinners, 

and purify your hearts, double-minded people! 

Be miserable and mourn and weep. 

Your laughter must change to mourning 

and your joy to sorrow. 

Humble yourselves before the Lord, 

and He will exalt you.”

James 4:6, 8-10

I tried so hard to be good, I knew all the words to say and the thoughts to think, but my heart was so obviously and violently in opposition to that goodness.  It was unattainable.  I couldn't will myself to be good, even though I wanted to.

And there it was.

Grace came like a cloud over the sun to shield me from the burn.  

I was broken and messy, utterly exposed to my shame--and there You were Lord. 

I hate seeing how petty I am, how bad I am, how I hate that I am a certain way, but there I was in all my monstrosity like a feral creature emerging from a cave into civilization.  

So I did the only thing I could with You in that moment, I cried.  Because what else could I do?  My heart was bleeding out and there was nothing but a miracle that could stop the bleeding.  I wasn't going to save myself.  I wanted You to save me, and You did.  

You always save me.  Even when it hurts. 

I know it's going to hurt with each turn of my heart towards You, and I may never stop having puffy eyes, but give me greater grace to stay in it.  To remember what grace means and how much of it You give to me.  I need You. 

Teach me this greater grace. 

 Thank You Lord.

Jmegrey

Lead me back home.

Perhaps...

Lately I catch myself referring to God in the third person as if I am talking about Him rather than to Him.  I used to connect with God quite easily, and perhaps I now see how I may have taken those moments for granted!  So here I go with an intention to reconnect with God.

Lord,

You see me and You know every thought I hold--even the ones that do not hold tight to You at the center. My sin and guilt and shame are before me and You are aware of all my broken shards.  You walk with me in the swamps of my fear, You sit with me in the marshes of my shame, and You speak to my ears even when I try not to hear.  You pursue me.  You are never too tired of me.  Your love breaks past all my defenses and You rescue me...from my self.

“You observe my travels and my rest; 

You are aware of all my ways.”

Psalms 139:3

“You have encircled me; 

You have placed Your hand on me.”

Psalms 139:5

I do not escape Your loving hold on me. 

I cannot and will not escape Your hold on me.

Your hold steadies me, even when my heart is far from You...Your heart stays strong in me. 

You beat in me and I am set free from the cold-heartedness of me.  You alone can do such a thing as to love me so unconditionally.  You create in me a new heart by the power of Your love.

“This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?”

Psalms 139:6-7

When I find my heart has wandered to the farthest limits--in lands of busyness, idolatry, apathy and uncertainty--You are there ready to guide me back into the safety and warmth of Your kingdom.  You find me wherever I am and You bring me home.  

“even there Your hand will lead me; 

Your right hand will hold on to me.”

Psalms 139:10

I am never too far from You to lead me back home. 

“God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with You.”

Psalms 139:17-18

When I wake up, I am still with You.  

Even though I don't understand all of You, and there is still so much to know about You, when I wake up, there You are... right by my side.  I have an eternity to know You. 

“Search me, God, and know my heart; 

test me and know my concerns. 

See if there is any offensive way in me; 

lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalms 139:23-24

Test me and know my concerns God.  Reveal to me what truly lies beneath the layers of my heart--the hidden things inside that hide behind facades and feelings--bring them into the light so that I may discover anything that is keeping me from fully giving my life to You.  I want You, all of me to be all in You.  So search me today Lord.  Lead me back home. 

Painful pursuing until the day I die

“Lord, You are my portion 

and my cup of blessing; 

You hold my future. 

The boundary lines have fallen for me 

in pleasant places; indeed, 

I have a beautiful inheritance.

Therefore my heart is glad 

and my spirit rejoices; 

my body also rests securely.

You reveal the path of life to me; 

in Your presence is abundant joy; 

in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.”

Psalms 16:5-6, 9, 11

Indeed I have a beautiful inheritance, but boy does it start to feel like quite the opposite in my body when I do what God wants.  It feels like death is waiting to swallow me up, that I will be losing big time or that I'll miss out on something truly beautiful.  But indeed I have a beautiful inheritance when I consider what Jesus has given me.  Now my future forever is held by a Father who loves me, promised by His Son who died for me, and everyday and every night I'm fighting to believe it's all true. 

These boundary lines have fallen in beautiful places, because they mean life for me.  Just as signal lights make driving in America a safe and efficient way to get from place to place, so too God's ways for what we should or shouldn't do are there to give our lives depth, meaning and richness of life.  The areas that are off limits (the ones we often want to cross for the sake of practicing our freedom) are off limits because they're bad for us.  God loves us and tells us what's good and what's bad.  He isn't just limiting our freedom by setting boundaries, but He is increasing our joy in doing so.  I see it as a loss because sin is enticing and my freedom to cross the line is ravenous for power, but when I read passages like this it reminds me that it is for my pleasure and my joy to be made more full that God wants me to stay out of these areas.  

My heart is not always glad,

My spirit is not always rejoicing 

And my body is not always resting securely.  Quite the opposite actually.  

Maybe my problem has more to do with not wanting joy. 

I know what's good yet I choose the bad.

I choose to not invest in my joy. 

“For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions operated through the law in every part of us and bore fruit for death.”

Romans 7:5

This still occurs to an extent.

As opposed to not occurring at all anymore. 

It's still habitual. 

“For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me, and through it killed me.”

Romans 7:11

Sin will use what is good to trick me by turning it into something it's not. 

God's commands are good, but sin distorts it to look like it's bad, and sin will make what is bad for me look as if it were good.

How can I trust what I see then?  Or trust what I feel? Or trust anything for that matter?  All I have is God's Word to guide me.  But I'm not quite there yet...to be able to just trust and obey His Word. 

Then again I know my default disposition is to not trust myself, so perhaps God is calling me to trust that He is with me in my decision making.  So that every choice I make is made confidently in Him by following His Word confidently.  

And when I mess up I have the cross ever before me.  

“So then, the law is holy, 

and the commandment is holy and just 

and good.”

Romans 7:12

The boundary lines are good.

The constraints are good. 

The off limits signs are trustworthy and good.

The obstacle in my way of getting what I feel or want is good. 

The pain is good. 

These seemingly "bad" things are more truly good though I do not feel or see them to be so.  I have the knowledge of truth, of good and evil, but not the will to live it our correctly. 

“Therefore, did what is good cause my death? Absolutely not! On the contrary, sin, in order to be recognized as sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that through the commandment, sin might become sinful beyond measure.”

Romans 7:13

Sin is a distortion of something good. 

That's what makes sin so evil, it takes what is good and turns it into evil. 

Good desires are used to produce evil cravings. 

Good intents are used to produce evil motives. 

Good gifts are used to produce evil uses. 

Good goals are used to produce evil methods. 

Good things are used to produce evil things. 

“For we know that the law is spiritual, 

but I am made out of flesh, 

sold into sin’s power.”

Romans 7:14

My flesh is a slave to sin.  Sin owns my flesh. 

But I am not just flesh, I have spirit too. 

So part of me is a slave to sin, and this is the part that is being put to death each day.  This is also the part of me that will never be fully dead until I physically die (of old age or sickness or murder).  So in a way, I will be fighting until the day I die--not because sin is so powerful but because the gift of life is so good.  The more good I find in the gift of God and the more I desire it the less I will desire whatever is contrary.  Therefore, naturally I will find myself fighting until the day I die.  Actively fighting sin not so much because of how strong or bad it is--in fact I would not think much of sin at all--but it is the desire of the good gift that will be the strongest victory.  The more I desire God the more I will actively kill sin in my life if it means having more of God.  

So then, I see that my desire for God is precious and to be protected and cultivated.  The art of desiring God...is where my true training is.  Learning how and what stir my affections for Him.  Finding ways to fall more deeply in love with Him as opposed to waiting the feelings to just happen to me.  

I guess this changes something in me...I thought you couldn't help who you loved but I think you can.  It's a choice. 

“For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate.

For I know that Nothing Good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.”

Romans 7:15, 18

In me lives two persons: Nothing Good and Holy Spirit. 

Nothing Good has no ability to do anything good. Rather Nothing Good continues to do only what I do not want to keep doing because it can do only that. 

“Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me. So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is with me. For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God’s law.”

Romans 7:20-22

Whenever I set out to do Good, Nothing Good is there in me as well.  For in my inner self I have knowledge of what is good and what is evil and I agree that God's law is good despite living with Nothing Good in me. 

“But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body.”

Romans 7:23

What I know in my head is in battle with what my actions actually begin doing.  I am full of the right knowledge of God in my mind, but members of my body war against my knowledge and make me captive to sin.  

“What a wretched man I am! 

Who will rescue me from this dying body?”

Romans 7:24

I continue to lose many battles!  My head knows what is right, but my body will not submit to it! I end up being a slave to sin and death lurks at the end! Because sin leads to death and destruction. 

“I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! 

So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh, to the law of sin.”

Romans 7:25

“Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus,”

Romans 8:1

I am without sin's punishment of death because Christ defeated Death by taking all sin upon Himself.  But if all sin was taken then do all go to eternal life?  No, only those who believe this gospel truth will go.  In my heart I believe.  I believe Jesus has done this great thing for me, so great that I will fight sin until the day I die. 

Though I will fail, I will never stop believing and fighting for the truth, fighting to kill sin and pursuing intimacy with God. 

Jmegrey

For Joy!

God only knows...seriously.  Haha. 

Every day I am thinking about what to do or why things are the way they are, trying to solve problems both present and possibly in the future to prevent them.  I get caught up in my thoughts that I often forget to pause in the humility of being human and look up at Love and the outcome which is always in the face of my Savior, Jesus.  

Perhaps I have been called to be a thinker or a vessel of knowledge and teaching, which is why I am more inclined to think, but even so I must remember that every gift is purposed by God to be used for His will.  This means that His thoughts matter and the only way I will know what they are is to listen to them--which often require me to set my own to silence.  

I may get distracted by the euphoria of knowledge because in the past it has awakened new passions in me--and I love exciting things that bring me to see more clearly and definitely--yet this has a tendency to backfire when my focus shifts from the Giver of those passions to the means by which they came.  Knowledge is only good if it brings me joy.  Otherwise it's just something I possess, and I could posses many things in life but what I want is joy.  No amount of knowledge, money or beauty could provide me with joy unless the source of joy is using these means to give them to me.  God can use anything to give me joy.  

Hemp milk lattes, theology books, people, mountains, kisses, vegan food, bicycles, naps and moments of clarity have all been some of the means by which God has used to send me His delight and my joy.  

But one thing remains true:  

Everlasting joy comes from God.  

“But beyond these, my son, 

be warned: 

there is no end to the making of many books, 

and much study wearies the body. 

When all has been heard, 

the conclusion of the matter is: 

fear God and keep His commands, 

because this is for all humanity. 

For God will bring every act to judgment, 

including every hidden thing, 

whether good or evil.”

Ecclesiastes 12:12-14

His joy, His truth.  His ways, His thoughts, Him. 

He is the one we approach for every joy.  

All other joys may parade as everlasting, they may appear sexy or desirable at any given moment, but I know in my heart that the truth of joy is that it can only be everlasting by the Creator of joy.  If God can speak joy into existence then so long as God has the power to be God joy will be His to provide. 

My struggle is for joy.  

Everyday we desire to protect ourselves from a loss or lack of joy by turning to comfort or habit, food or sex, beauty or money, etc, and it's here in the pause that we remember the truth about joy.  

That sometimes we suffer for the joy set before us.  As our perfect example showed us:

"keeping our eyes on Jesus, 

the source and perfecter of our faith, 

who for the joy that lay before Him 

endured a cross 

and despised the shame 

and has sat down 

at the right hand of God's throne."

-Hebrews 12:2

“For consider Him 

who endured such hostility from sinners 

against Himself, 

so that you won’t grow weary and lose heart. 

In struggling against sin, 

you have not yet resisted 

to the point of shedding your blood. 

And you have forgotten the exhortation 

that addresses you as sons: 

My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly 

or faint when you are reproved by Him, 

for the Lord disciplines the one He loves 

and punishes every son He receives. 

Endure suffering as discipline: 

God is dealing with you as sons. 

For what son is there that a father does not discipline?”

Hebrews 12:3-7

Joy is what I want.  

And in the suffering of getting it I am learning to see that joy is always what I am being given day by day.  Feelings are not joy, because feelings are fleeting.  Joy is knowing who you belong to and who cares for you and who loves you.  Joy is remaining in God's will.  

In the end all of life and humanity will reveal the only everlasting joy.  

None will compare to meeting God face to face and hearing the words of our King:

"Well done, good and faithful servant. 

You have been faithful over a little; 

I will set you over much. 

Enter into the joy of your master."

(Matt. 25:23) 

For the joy set ahead, and entering into joy, 

take heart believer.

Jmegrey