Give shame?

2 Thess. 3:14-15

If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that person 

and do not associate with him, so that 

he will be put to shame.

Do not regard him as an enemy, 

but warn him as a brother.

When I first read this passage I immediately recoiled thinking "is that Christ-like?!  Is that loving?!  To intentionally make someone feel ashamed?"  It felt wrong, but here it was in the authoritative Word of God.  So I had to re-think deeper about its meaning. 

Shame: noun- the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another.  

This definition reveals two facts about shame:

1. That is is a feeling (rising from something dishonorable, improper) 
2. It can arise by yourself- feeling ashamed for doing what you know is wrong- or arise by others who show you that what you did was wrong.

So when we look back at the passage Paul is telling the church family to be observant about what is truly right and wrong.  Our culture tells us it's shameful to be weak, dependent, poor, or unpopular, so we feel ashamed when we are too fat, too poor, or too weak, but God's Word says it's shameful to disobey God's good and perfect law.  

We can only adhere to one truth, and that is the one we will daily live by. 

We need to make sure we are walking right before God on God's terms not our own, but we are also called to help each other do the same.  If your legs feel fine but your eye is bleeding would you neglect your eyes just because your legs feel fine?  No way!  You want your entire body, soul, and mind to be well and healthy.  To neglect one part when it is sick is to let that part go on dying.  Paul is simply reminding us that in the same way, as members of one body (the church is Jesus's body) we should have that kind of mentality toward one another.  

If shame is a feeling of wrong then it would be accurate for someone who is doing wrong to feel wrong.  However, our definition of "wrong" must not be our own, governed by our feelings, but God's definition governed by His Word.  It would also be a sin of passivity to let wrong be cultivated as something right.  Paul is telling us to be discerning not so that we start judging everyone's wrong, but so that we bring people into what is right and good.  At the same time it opens ourselves to receive correction from others as well.  

Verse 15 says don't treat this person as an enemy (the one who is doing wrong by God's Word) but if you let someone know that what they are doing is wrong do so with the intention of helping them in the process to get back on track.  Not to "quit" on them. 

On the opposite end, if someone is repentant about a wrong they did to you, it would be a sin to continue treating them with unforgiveness just because we still feel offended.  

All christians are called to endure suffering.  We are all still sinners, but if we continue to judge each others' sins without forgiveness then we are saying Jesus died for no reason.  Everyday we are being forgiven for the sins we still commit and for as long as we live we will survive God's perfectly just judgment only by having a repentant heart, therefore in the same way everyday we must forgive others as well for that is why Jesus died.  

For you. 

For me.

For the church body (made up of wicked sinners) 

We are all one in the same.  

If you find yourself doing what Paul writes here, 

not associating with someone in the church so that they feel ashamed, be very weary that you do so out of sincere love for that person and not because they annoy you.  Otherwise you will be breaking the command of God just as much if not more than that person.  Two wrongs don't make a right.  One right makes everyone right, that right-ness comes from Jesus.  Examine where your heart needs forgiveness before you examine someone else's so that when we do make someone feel ashamed it will be out of love for that person. 

Love you guys.  

Jmegrey