this and that on Relationships

We are "girls" and "boys".

Relationships take precedence over the majority of things in our lives.  We boil most things down to the connections we make with others, we dress to impress others, we go out to parties or new cities to meet others, we make money in large to do all the above, so from what I gather it seems important to speculate on the structure of relationships.  The health and hazards of relationships depend on how we harness our part of the response to another person.  Failing to evaluate something so important as this seems idiotic to me, and I try not to be an idiot in life, whenever possible.

Types of Relationships:

1.  Friendships
2.  Acquaintances
3.  Lovers
4.  Estranged

       I say "girls" and "boys" not to indicate age but mindset.  We are born with a desire to please ourselves and try our best to get what we want when we want and how we want it.  As we get older not much changes in terms of our mindset, but only in the price range of what we want or the magnitude of how much of something or someone we desire.  Of course, these are my observations and therefore shouldn't be read as factual, but I just want to shed some exposure on how a "girl's" mind thinks since I'm a girl and I am, at best, decently accountable to the thoughts that I process.

       Friendships.

Friendships to me are a lot like marriage without the sex.  That's a very generalized comparison, but my point is that friendships (whether with a girl or boy) are built on trust, time, and vulnerability.  When those three things are present and constantly exchanged, a strong bond is formed that mirrors the unity of marriage and love.

When I tell my friend something I expect them not to share it with others, and so when they do they weaken the trust and thus weaken the friendship.  This is usually remedied with a most sincere apology which is usually paired with tears.

When I or a friend gets busy with life and no longer takes the effort to meet up then time is taken away from our friendship and it weakens the relationship.  This is usually remedied with ...yes, time spent together again, re-igniting the friendship by being in each others' company paired with conversations and laughter.

When someone tells me something that makes their image less clean or nice (ie: that they had or have suicidal thoughts, an eating disorder, depression, etc) thus rendering their present selves vulnerable to me, I am compelled to love them and this strengthens our friendship.

       Acquaintances.

This is the most awkward and un-ideal relationship to have.  It's blurry and undefined, and for someone who is as get-to-the-point as I am, I have a hard time interacting with acquaintances because it's like talking to an uninterested 16 year old.  Responses tend to be short and superficial, in other words they are most likely lying about how they are doing, what they are doing, and even about how good it is to see you.  However, acquaintances, if not prolonged in this state for too long, are precursors to friendship.  So it's likely that your friendships were at one point these terrible acquaintances, and time, effort, and mutual respect led the two of you toward that beautiful thing called friendship.  So, acquaintances are like hurdles, they just get in the way of friendship, but with some effort they can be passed over.

       Lovers.

Ah.  Love.  I should say "Lovers", because most "lovers" today are not lovers in the truest sense, but are more like two selfish people trying to avoid feeling lonely by burdening someone with the task of making them happy; an impossible task to keep up.  Lovers, as intended by the Creator, share this:


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
(1 Cor. 13)

And my other favorite:

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"
(Ephesians 5:25)

I suppose since I'm not married the only thing I am sure of are the above as well as the fact that I am called to be someone's helper, so the best I can do now is to seek God with all my heart so that when I do get married I will be better equipped to provide the kind of help he will need in this life.

       Estranged.

This is sad, bad, and should never be the case.  The power of words is this:  

"I'm sorry, I was wrong, please forgive me." 

or

"I forgive you."

 It is never worth it to harbor anger toward someone, even if they deserve it, because it leaves tears on your own heart.

-Jme-Grey