Battambang is heating up. Man. It's God from here on out. I'm almost liking the cold showers now, and I've sort of given up on being afraid of bugs and snakes since they are literally everywhere. Let's see, sharing a bathroom is not that bad, (though I am the only one who has/wears shower slippers...and I don't plan to stop...having icky feet just feels too...well, icky) sigh. I know, I am learning to embrace the culture here, and so far I feel pretty adapted to everything except the bare feet and dirty feet thing. I can't even think straight as I type this all out on my iPhone. So eloquence, if ever I had any, will now kindly exit the premises for the duration of my time here. I'm just going to write as if my brain and my fingers were a pair of squabbling siblings. A little bit irrational, a little bit emotional, tangents left and right, but in the end a fine display of inconsistencies.
All the students here, including myself, are required to hand wash their clothes in large metal bowls that are also used for washing dirty dishes. So before filling a bowl with soap and water I have to make sure there is no leftover food or oils clinging to it. So we clean two bowls out, one for washing (with soap) and one for rinsing with just water. We wash once and rinse twice. A harrowing process if you have heavy items such as jeans, towels, jackets....all of which I have. Makes me want to live with disposable clothes...disposable clothes! Biodegradable disposable clothes...by missionary designs. Bam. That's how ill support my missionary life, through a multi billion dollar company that serves missionaries. Anyyyyywho, as I was saying...laundry. So it took about 2.5 hours for the entire process, leaving my biceps pretty cocky, and the rest of me dead as a nail. I was so tired and kind of frustrated that I had to take so much time to do something that usually takes about a minutes to load (with a machine). I was amazed that people had to do this. Sounds insignificant maybe, but imagine washing your clothes by hand every two days because the weather and constant swirl of dirt being caked onto you forces you to unless you don't care to walk around ..caked in sweat and dirt...like a clay person. A clean shirt reflects a clean heart. ;)
So after my inner grumblings against God for having me in that situation, almost right after I found a brook in me that began to bubble. They were glad bubbles, thankfulness and joy were beginning to flow out of my thoughts. I realized that the time I spent hand washing my clothes was also spent simultaneously having a really good conversation with my two other roommates. It was quite nice, like bonding (*shivers). I'm not good at bonding, but I desire to be good at it. So all in all I think it'll be really good for me to hand wash my clothes, share a bathroom with 6 girls, eat every meal with the base, and learn to be ok with constant fellowship. Difficult as it may be, sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and just fly back home (and it's only been a week), but I really want To hear what God is saying to me. And I know he can talk to me anywhere, but it's myself who can't hear very well when I am covered in self. The less I am the more He becomes, the quieter my soul, the louder He speaks. I am here to quiet myself and listen to His words for my life. Then I'll go from there.
Thank you for those who are praying for me!
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