Prayer for community

      Father, help me to understand what Your will is, because without understanding I'm confused and can become apathetic and stagnant.  

Help me to know and be convinced in my spirit that what I do is what You want and not what I want, or make what I want to be what You want.  I want to do Your will, but so much of me is confused and scared.  So please give me courage to present my body as a living sacrifice, 

this is my spiritual worship; that I may gain Christ and be found in Him--so that I may discern what is Your good, pleasing and perfect will.  Your will, not mine. (Romans 12:1-2)

Father especially when physical pains begin to hurt me, or people's words pierce me, please remind me of Your perfect and good will that I am, by grace, being brought into.  When my stomach or my head or my body is aching (or becoming upset/insistent to do what my will wants) please send reassurance to my mind about persevering through it and being renewed and strengthened after it. Renew my mind and clear out any false identities that try to ensnare me.  I am not a slave to sin or to fear or to perfect standards I conjure up in my mind, but I am Yours alone.  I am eager and shrewd about doing Your will, and when I am not please make me, because even though I don't feel it now I know and have experienced that You bring peace in time, all according to Your perfect will that I enter into by faith. 

Father, when I don't want to be a part of small group/community activities, please remind me that this is my spiritual worship.  I am here to benefit the body of Your Son who died for me, He gave me a  righteousness from You based on faith.  

Father, give me a joyful heart to dance or participate or eat a meal together with my small group and others under Your wing of protection.  Help me to remember You are there when I'm with them.  Help me to be unified and not divisive.  Lord it is difficult to let go of my moods and my fears and my anxieties when I'm with them, so please help me to remember and to be faithful to what You have called me to: a life of serving and loving others because Your love for me and what Jesus did to serve my needs was and is greater than anything I could ever do to repay it.  I can give my body as a living sacrifice: dead to my will but alive in doing what Your will is, and I desire for my mind to be always renewed so that I can discern between what's Your will and what's mine, and carry Yours out.  This I can only do when Your light shines to blot out the darkness in me.  

But Father please help me, I am so weak willed and rebellious, scared still about certain things, but I know You see that and You know me inside and out.  Help me to look to You, to always run to the cross, and to be reminded and renewed in my mind of Your good and pleasing and perfect will.  Your will be done.  Be glorified, and thank You because I was lost and You sought and found me especially in my bad and worst days.  You never gave up on me, and it was Your kindness that led me to repentance day after day.  

So Father please fill me with Your Spirit and Your power to embrace my cell church (small group) and be in unified community with them and to use what You give me to benefit, them, Your body.  I am Yours.  May Your will be done by me who is in Christ, so that it is not based on my abilities but on Christ who works out Your will in me.  

The truth is that on my own everything I do is useless, even my being honest in this blog is useless if Christ is not the One who gives me the power to write.  On my own I can write the truth but I cannot give myself freedom or eternal life.  Only in Christ can my writing and acknowledgment of the truth help me towards lasting freedom and life.  So I pray to be found in Christ Jesus, whether in writing, or in moments of being internally honest with myself and others, apart from You I am useless.  Nothing bears fruit apart from the vine, so please help me to be in You, always and in everything.  Even  and especially when I'm in community. 

I want to be near to You, but I am so afraid of Your body, the church.  People frighten me because their words are like swords that pierce through my fragile heart, and I am trying to protect myself from them.  But they are Your body and I want to be near and with You, and so I must be near and with them.  Help me see You when I am with others. 

In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Jmegrey