Here I am.
I stand before Your presence just as I am, a little full, a little constipated, and very overwhelmed at the vast confusions I face in my mind and in my life.
What is going on?
What am I to be doing to do Your will? How do I love the way You want me to love from a pure heart when I am so double minded and always tainting my love with my thoughts.
I desire to change.
I desire to grow.
How are You growing me in my circumstances?
Are You training me for something later or are You weaning me off of something to get closer to the real You?
Sigh.
My eyes are tired and my body is sore.
I feel defeated and slumped over at the heaviness of everything.
The mountain seems too high and the ocean's waves are too tumultuous, but if You call me out I will go.
Where are You so that I can follow Your voice? I
cannot-will not- move from here if I do not hear Your voice directing me.
Lord, I repent of the ways in which I let my old desires reign in my life.
My old masters and idols, my wavering doubts and my laziness, I repent Lord. Jesus You are my Lord.
You call the shots in my life, and I want to do what You tell me to do.
I want to go where You tell me to go.
I want to speak what You tell me to speak.
Your words are here, right in my iPhone bible app, and I forget how accessible You are.
Lead my time in the Word, and please guide my thoughts along a coherent line of understanding rather than heaps of too much information that I take and do not live out.
Teach me today what Your will for me is. What should I do today?
How should I act?
Where should I go?
How can I use the gifts You've given me to bless someone else today?
Please be near to my mind, speaking words of life and kicking out the words of death and lies that bombard me.
Speak gently and tenderly so I know that it is You and not my self criticizing self getting in the way.
Here I am Lord.
Do to me what You will have me do, and give me the courage to do it, the awareness to enjoy doing it, and the grace to help me back up if I fail to do it. Above all, pour Your rich and famous love in me so that my love for others is an overflow from that source.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.
Renewal of the Spirit:
"Therefore,
since Christ suffered
in the flesh,
equip yourselves also
with the same resolve —
(because the one who suffered in the flesh has finished with sin) — *sin is powerless now and you are not bound to death because of it any longer, so there is nothing to fear, but to live freely. I am free to do whatever I want, and I want to live for God even if I screw up every single day, I am free to screw up! So I can live unto God as a failing servant, and He will never fire me or get rid of me for it. :). I am free to fail, which is good news for me because I happen to fail a lot! Haha.*
in order to
live the remaining time in the flesh,
no longer for human desires,
but for God’s will."
1 Peter 4:1-2
I can live FOR God's will, even if I am not DOING God's will successfully. There is a difference. Being For something and doing something is like when I am FOR a team, I cheer, I support, and I love that team, especially if that team represent my life--but I am not the team that is actually playing. I am for them. If I am doing what the team is supposed to be doing, I would not be free to mess up, and every fumble would be detrimental to the team- to my life. However, if I am for the team, I might skip a day of showing up to their game, or I might miss a goal to cheer for, and that's okay. I do what I can, when I can, and as best as I can because the team has my sincere love-my worth is in the team, and I get to enjoy the benefits of seeing my team succeed through every game. Jesus is the team I am cheering for, and He never loses a game. His victory is my victory, and my failings have nothing to do with His victory. THAT is good news.
We are all rooting for the same team! So how could we NOT love one another if we all see our team scoring? Being for God's will is to be fighting sin. When we love one another, and maintain the intensity of that care and empowerment and intimacy with one another, we are rooting for our team and the opponents are being boo-ed (sin). Loving others is how we "boo" sin. If sin is around you, boo it and watch Jesus kill it for you!
"Above all,
maintain an intense love for
each other,
since love covers a multitude of sins."
1 Peter 4:8
Friends and family, you and I are free to fail as a supporter of Jesus. We are free to be FOR what Jesus does in our lives, not what we do. He wins every time. Be about that.
-Jmegrey
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