“Lord, You are my portion
and my cup of blessing;
You hold my future.
The boundary lines have fallen for me
in pleasant places; indeed,
I have a beautiful inheritance.
Therefore my heart is glad
and my spirit rejoices;
my body also rests securely.
You reveal the path of life to me;
in Your presence is abundant joy;
in Your right hand are eternal pleasures.”
Psalms 16:5-6, 9, 11
Indeed I have a beautiful inheritance, but boy does it start to feel like quite the opposite in my body when I do what God wants. It feels like death is waiting to swallow me up, that I will be losing big time or that I'll miss out on something truly beautiful. But indeed I have a beautiful inheritance when I consider what Jesus has given me. Now my future forever is held by a Father who loves me, promised by His Son who died for me, and everyday and every night I'm fighting to believe it's all true.
These boundary lines have fallen in beautiful places, because they mean life for me. Just as signal lights make driving in America a safe and efficient way to get from place to place, so too God's ways for what we should or shouldn't do are there to give our lives depth, meaning and richness of life. The areas that are off limits (the ones we often want to cross for the sake of practicing our freedom) are off limits because they're bad for us. God loves us and tells us what's good and what's bad. He isn't just limiting our freedom by setting boundaries, but He is increasing our joy in doing so. I see it as a loss because sin is enticing and my freedom to cross the line is ravenous for power, but when I read passages like this it reminds me that it is for my pleasure and my joy to be made more full that God wants me to stay out of these areas.
My heart is not always glad,
My spirit is not always rejoicing
And my body is not always resting securely. Quite the opposite actually.
Maybe my problem has more to do with not wanting joy.
I know what's good yet I choose the bad.
I choose to not invest in my joy.
“For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions operated through the law in every part of us and bore fruit for death.”
Romans 7:5
This still occurs to an extent.
As opposed to not occurring at all anymore.
It's still habitual.
“For sin, seizing an opportunity through the commandment, deceived me, and through it killed me.”
Romans 7:11
Sin will use what is good to trick me by turning it into something it's not.
God's commands are good, but sin distorts it to look like it's bad, and sin will make what is bad for me look as if it were good.
How can I trust what I see then? Or trust what I feel? Or trust anything for that matter? All I have is God's Word to guide me. But I'm not quite there yet...to be able to just trust and obey His Word.
Then again I know my default disposition is to not trust myself, so perhaps God is calling me to trust that He is with me in my decision making. So that every choice I make is made confidently in Him by following His Word confidently.
And when I mess up I have the cross ever before me.
“So then, the law is holy,
and the commandment is holy and just
and good.”
Romans 7:12
The boundary lines are good.
The constraints are good.
The off limits signs are trustworthy and good.
The obstacle in my way of getting what I feel or want is good.
The pain is good.
These seemingly "bad" things are more truly good though I do not feel or see them to be so. I have the knowledge of truth, of good and evil, but not the will to live it our correctly.
“Therefore, did what is good cause my death? Absolutely not! On the contrary, sin, in order to be recognized as sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that through the commandment, sin might become sinful beyond measure.”
Romans 7:13
Sin is a distortion of something good.
That's what makes sin so evil, it takes what is good and turns it into evil.
Good desires are used to produce evil cravings.
Good intents are used to produce evil motives.
Good gifts are used to produce evil uses.
Good goals are used to produce evil methods.
Good things are used to produce evil things.
“For we know that the law is spiritual,
but I am made out of flesh,
sold into sin’s power.”
Romans 7:14
My flesh is a slave to sin. Sin owns my flesh.
But I am not just flesh, I have spirit too.
So part of me is a slave to sin, and this is the part that is being put to death each day. This is also the part of me that will never be fully dead until I physically die (of old age or sickness or murder). So in a way, I will be fighting until the day I die--not because sin is so powerful but because the gift of life is so good. The more good I find in the gift of God and the more I desire it the less I will desire whatever is contrary. Therefore, naturally I will find myself fighting until the day I die. Actively fighting sin not so much because of how strong or bad it is--in fact I would not think much of sin at all--but it is the desire of the good gift that will be the strongest victory. The more I desire God the more I will actively kill sin in my life if it means having more of God.
So then, I see that my desire for God is precious and to be protected and cultivated. The art of desiring God...is where my true training is. Learning how and what stir my affections for Him. Finding ways to fall more deeply in love with Him as opposed to waiting the feelings to just happen to me.
I guess this changes something in me...I thought you couldn't help who you loved but I think you can. It's a choice.
“For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate.
For I know that Nothing Good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.”
Romans 7:15, 18
In me lives two persons: Nothing Good and Holy Spirit.
Nothing Good has no ability to do anything good. Rather Nothing Good continues to do only what I do not want to keep doing because it can do only that.
“Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me. So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is with me. For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God’s law.”
Romans 7:20-22
Whenever I set out to do Good, Nothing Good is there in me as well. For in my inner self I have knowledge of what is good and what is evil and I agree that God's law is good despite living with Nothing Good in me.
“But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body.”
Romans 7:23
What I know in my head is in battle with what my actions actually begin doing. I am full of the right knowledge of God in my mind, but members of my body war against my knowledge and make me captive to sin.
“What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this dying body?”
Romans 7:24
I continue to lose many battles! My head knows what is right, but my body will not submit to it! I end up being a slave to sin and death lurks at the end! Because sin leads to death and destruction.
“I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh, to the law of sin.”
Romans 7:25
“Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus,”
Romans 8:1
I am without sin's punishment of death because Christ defeated Death by taking all sin upon Himself. But if all sin was taken then do all go to eternal life? No, only those who believe this gospel truth will go. In my heart I believe. I believe Jesus has done this great thing for me, so great that I will fight sin until the day I die.
Though I will fail, I will never stop believing and fighting for the truth, fighting to kill sin and pursuing intimacy with God.
Jmegrey
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