Lead me back home.

Perhaps...

Lately I catch myself referring to God in the third person as if I am talking about Him rather than to Him.  I used to connect with God quite easily, and perhaps I now see how I may have taken those moments for granted!  So here I go with an intention to reconnect with God.

Lord,

You see me and You know every thought I hold--even the ones that do not hold tight to You at the center. My sin and guilt and shame are before me and You are aware of all my broken shards.  You walk with me in the swamps of my fear, You sit with me in the marshes of my shame, and You speak to my ears even when I try not to hear.  You pursue me.  You are never too tired of me.  Your love breaks past all my defenses and You rescue me...from my self.

“You observe my travels and my rest; 

You are aware of all my ways.”

Psalms 139:3

“You have encircled me; 

You have placed Your hand on me.”

Psalms 139:5

I do not escape Your loving hold on me. 

I cannot and will not escape Your hold on me.

Your hold steadies me, even when my heart is far from You...Your heart stays strong in me. 

You beat in me and I am set free from the cold-heartedness of me.  You alone can do such a thing as to love me so unconditionally.  You create in me a new heart by the power of Your love.

“This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it. Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?”

Psalms 139:6-7

When I find my heart has wandered to the farthest limits--in lands of busyness, idolatry, apathy and uncertainty--You are there ready to guide me back into the safety and warmth of Your kingdom.  You find me wherever I am and You bring me home.  

“even there Your hand will lead me; 

Your right hand will hold on to me.”

Psalms 139:10

I am never too far from You to lead me back home. 

“God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is! If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand; when I wake up, I am still with You.”

Psalms 139:17-18

When I wake up, I am still with You.  

Even though I don't understand all of You, and there is still so much to know about You, when I wake up, there You are... right by my side.  I have an eternity to know You. 

“Search me, God, and know my heart; 

test me and know my concerns. 

See if there is any offensive way in me; 

lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalms 139:23-24

Test me and know my concerns God.  Reveal to me what truly lies beneath the layers of my heart--the hidden things inside that hide behind facades and feelings--bring them into the light so that I may discover anything that is keeping me from fully giving my life to You.  I want You, all of me to be all in You.  So search me today Lord.  Lead me back home.