My last night was pretty shaky, it was a subtle kind of arrows that came from the shadows. I didn't feel them at first, and it wasn't until later that I saw the wounds in my spirit. I noticed my thoughts sort of draining of confidence in the Lord, I couldn't recall His greatness as well, and I began to feel that false sense of strength rather than that humbling acknowledgment of weakness.
Throughout the day we may begin with the mercies God pours out on us, and we dress ourselves physically, but more importantly we must dress ourselves spiritually for the war that is not present to our immediate senses. Be aware that the arrows strike from the shadows, and we may be bleeding out spiritually without even knowing it unless we consciously take time to examine ourselves. Where are your thoughts circling back to? What is driving you in the direction you are presently going? Is it the glory of God or the glory of yourself?
I hope that I become ever more aware of my spirit and the Holy Spirit working together to produce roots that stay to the life source of God's provision and instruction. I don't want to be like the dried chaff, self reliant and independent of that which is the only One who can sustain and nourish me. The dried chaff get blown by whatever winds occur, this and that they become affected by and tossed around. But the tree that is firmly stayed to the source of life, the stream, remains lush and constantly renewed, producing fruits in different seasons. I want to be like the tree, the stable tree that stays...even when it's a season of unripened fruit or a season of shedding leaves or a season of harsh winds, I want to remain always to the source of life, to God.
But that's hard because my roots are still frail, still reaching, and the process is grueling. I'm uprooted and then planted again, and so many times I feel exhausted and hopeless.
(Psalms 16:8 HCSB)
Keep the Lord in mind.
Because He is (close as) my right hand
I will not be shaken.
When you notice you're draining of that life source, take note of it, examine your wound and ask the Lord God who is close at hand to heal you.
You might be drained for a while, maybe the wound is deeper than you thought, so don't rush trying to get well, but instead allow the life source to replenish you like a tree drinking up water. Just stay firmly planted, positioned for the Lord to work, and not for you to just get better. Oftentimes we don't even know what really needs to be better, so the only thing we are instructed to do is be unshakeable.
Root yourself to God, and stay there because apart from Him is to disconnect from Life itself...and end up as dried chaff blown by all kinds of winds. Let the winds come, but let us stay.
I pray you stay today. Firmly plant yourself with the Lord in mind as He works in each of us to be like a tree.
...his delight is in the Lord’s instruction, and he meditates on it day and night. He is like a tree planted beside streams of water that bears its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. The wicked are not like this; instead, they are like chaff that the wind blows away.
(Psalms 1:2-4 HCSB)
Again...
But the seed in the good ground (position)
these are the ones who,
having heard the word
with an honest and good heart,
hold on to it and by enduring, (can do this only because of their position in the good ground, which is In Christ)
bear fruit.
(Luke 8:15 HCSB)
First we must take note of our position.
Holding on and enduring is NOT the first step!
I encourage you to ask the Lord in prayer what your position is.
Are you trying to hold on and endure among thorns or dry ground? If so, all your hard work will be a waste, because it is based upon the position FIRST, that you will be able to hold on and endure for the actual fruit. If your position is wrong, you will never be able to bear fruit.
However, if you find that your position is not in Christ, then be glad you were given such insight that only comes from the Spirit of truth, and begin asking the Lord to place you in Him. If you don't know what that looks like, then you and I are in the same boat! Haha but we can see how little we know by this, and how it is truly all God's power and grace and love that will place us in Him, and so I pray you join me in praying to be in Christ.
If we knew what or how to do this Part then we wouldn't need God.
God is the one who will make things happen, not us. There is no formula or figuring this out in our heads, there is only the humility in realizing how confusing and unknowable our great God is and then, by faith, setting ourselves under His authority to speak His Word to us ...and us being obedient--not out of fear of punishment or out of wanting to feel like good christian people (because feeling guilty and ashamed sucks), but because we sincerely desire to be positioned in Christ. Remember our position then leads us to the capacity to hold on and endure! But first things first.
I will show you what someone is like who comes to Me, (we see a need for Jesus)
hears My words, (we read the bible and get convicted)
and acts on them: (we act on what we read, most of the time completely unfamiliar and unfeeling with the act itself, not knowing how or what will happen, but we act anyway because it is the words of God that we follow not our own thoughts and configuring)
He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock.
When the flood came, the river crashed against that house and couldn’t shake it, because it was well built.
(Luke 6:47-48 HCSB)
It is during floods, crashes and dry seasons that we come to find out our true position, and in doing so hopefully either rejoice in God in the deep door of our hearts, quietly resting albeit the pain, or become humbled with a sorrow of joy for His grace in our false position and correctly be corrected by Him.
Without the floods and crashes we would never know what sort of house we have built for ourselves. Without seasons we wouldn't know if we were firmly being nourished by the river, and without God nothing could be done. His hands hold every matter, every circumstance, every outcome, and every thing that will one day be completed.
It is a sobering blessing that I go through difficult times, because in those moments I can most clearly see if I am truly a tree or chaff, a house built on the rock or on sand.
Today I thank God for the purposes behind every hard moment...though always in retrospect.
This, too, shall pass.
The words of God have been spoken,
Jmegrey
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