"Therefore, brothers, be patient until the Lord’s coming.
See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth and is patient with it until it receives the early and the late rains."
-James 5:7
God is establishing the heart for grander things, not just getting rid of the terrible things.
Though in order to replace our hearts with what is grand and worthy we must first take out what is not, ....but the bible warns us because what we find to be unworthy is sobering. As Job finally came to the end of his suffering he concluded:
"therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”
-Job 42:6
I think God is teaching me to learn the value and worthiness of patience. I realize more and more that I must find value in everything before taking them into my life, because my highest happiness is tied to my existence. Naturally we all value our selves. If we didn't we wouldn't care about how we spend our time, money or about eating. But we do, because we were made for value. Just because we were made for value doesn't mean value is what we want it to be, namely our selfs.
Why be patient and withhold from something valuable? Unless I find something more valuable to trump the first. Then patience is not so bad, albeit still trying.
For example, traveling is fun. However, what's more fun than traveling is bonding with a friend. I would choose intimacy over sightseeing any day. So in such a case you might say that I would be patient about sightseeing the mountains if it meant spending quality time with a dear friend whom I loved and who I wanted to bring with me. So then patience is practiced for the sake of something more highly valued.
Sigh. So there's another explanation that isn't said about the above true statement. The fact of the matter is that although the we may agree that we will do what is most valuable to us, we will also not do what isn't of much value to us. In other words, we don't value what we don't put into our lives. If some of us feel far from God we want to think that God is far from us, but we don't want to think that we don't value Him. We want to come out clean and make everything else the cause for what we do or feel that is wrong. Similar to my previous post, I will reiterate that this is likely because we all just do not want to be found wrong or at fault. We don't want to be found as a mess up. A failure.
We subconsciously fight to be right.
...even during our attempt to do good!
"And the servant of the Lord must not strive;
but be gentle unto all men,
apt to teach, patient"
-2 Timothy 2:24
Why must we not strive? Because God is the one who sees to it that His will be done, and not even we can stop His will. But many of us think we can when we start to worry about and concern ourselves with fruits of love, joy, peace, etc that are lacking (in our lives, in ministry, in our churches). Rather than believing in God and His will for our lives we want to squish God into our wills and our expectations. Be confronted by His sovereignty! You cannot stop God from having His way. No matter how many bad choices you make.
We are not striving to do good, but we are striving to not be bad.
But the facts are there. We will put into our lives the things we value and, by deductive reasoning, will keep out the invaluable. This is not a problem, but this is what it means to be human. We desire good and worthy things, we desire the highest value possible to attain given our thresholds and other limitations. Once a person takes their identity for what it really is, apart from God, being useless and invaluable, unworthy and disdained by failure, will they begin to look at the value and worthiness of the King of all epic and eternal glory. One look at ourselves is enough to bring a person to bitter tears, but a glimpse of God's glorious features is enough to convince us that He loves us. But only after we've seen just what it is we all are in His eyes--wretched and fading souls desperate for cures and better outcomes. Then to be reminded that Jesus saw us as we all were: invalid lost souls and fading into death, and then He decided to take action. He took death and handled it for us. Blood for blood He sacrificed His own for ours. We get a free pass because someone else did what we had to do, but He never had to do it. That's why it makes no sense. That's why it's grace. God was always good and perfectly happy, but He chose to save us from ourselves. He chose to keep rotten mankind and make us new again.
So who is valuable here? What is valuable in life? The moochers or the Creator who came down from His high place of honor to be killed by the very moochers He came down to rescue? We gave Him Death and In return He gave us life. He gave us Life and in return we give Him death.
Who is giving value to who with these facts?
I would never tell a thief to stab me in return for all my most valuable possessions. I would never think it reasonable to give someone $1000 and in return ask that they give me ridicule and condescending judgments about my character. One more, it's like asking your friend to borrow their phone and in return you hit them in the face with it and smash their phone on the ground and walk away.
But that is the rightful exchange.
We give God our hatred, fear, doubts and all the dirt from the scum of our hearts and in return He gives us the glory of the universe. But it is faith in who He is not belief in who we are. We all know our shortcomings to some degree, especially when we are confronted by the Word. But what we are called to is belief in who He is.
You might believe that you are a sinner or that you have some deep dark flaws, but can you believe that God is good and that He loves you and died for you to know Him?
We can't see ourselves for who we really are unless He shows us. Self condemnation or self pity and depression, apathy and boredom, insecurity and fear of the future, disappointments and the thick heaviness of unforgiven friends or family members mar us within. But that doesn't mean God had no reason for such things to take place. He shows us our selves more and more clearly by however we will be convinced. If a loss of a loved one will convince you of your wretched state of loneliness or bitter resentment towards God then it's nothing new. God was not the cause of what was already always there. He was just the humble one who allowed what He had to in order to save us from ourselves, even if what He usually gets in return is a pointed crooked finger. However, He knows the greater tragedy is to be forever wretched. To suffer temporarily is always more worthy than to suffer permanently. And what we fail to see He still sees and follows through to the end.
Wherever we are in life, in the midst of pain or numb apathy, God is working in the hearts of His chosen children to see the truth. To not fear the truth of their real condition, but to let the truth set them free by directing their hopeful gazes on the King of glory. When we look death in the eye, feel it's curled and hairy fingers around our hearts, we see how weak and unable we are. And in that moment God becomes our only hope, he becomes the cure. If He is not the cure then what is?
Ambiguity?
Vague suggestions?
Thoughtless pleasures?
Psychological defenses?
None of the other cures is on solid ground. There is only one Rock for which we find is defined so absolutely.
Seek and search for all your life, but God will be in charge and if you find yourself filled with His love all of a sudden, it will be a scandalous act of His grace that marked you as chosen, despite your self.
When we come to places in our minds that cannot grasp God, let us seek to understand. A little suffering now will, in patience, be worth an eternity of glory later.
But God, if He is truly God, will have His way no matter what. That's what it means to be God and in control. So everything we are and what we do daily are at His mercy. I pray you believe in His goodness and love to fill your days of suffering with faith in the joys to come. Only then will you be patient and endure.
Look at you, but more than that, look at Him.
What do you really believe about God?
"By your endurance you will gain your lives."
-Luke 21:19
Jmegrey.
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