"The wolf will live with the lamb,
and the leopard will lie down with the goat.
The calf, the young lion,
and the fatling will be together,
and a child will lead them.
The cow and the bear will graze,
their young ones will lie down together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
An infant will play beside the cobra’s pit,
and a toddler will put his hand into a snake’s den.
None will harm or destroy another
on My entire holy mountain,
for the land will be as full
of the knowledge of the Lord
as the sea is filled with water.
-Isaiah 11:6-9
Heaven.
I hardly think of the details, but when the war within me surfaces--and I am faced with the difficulty of laying down something that is keeping me from obedience to God--I must remember heaven. The reason I must remember heaven is because it reveals the heart of God. It reminds me of the intentions and promises God has for me, the glorious new place that I am being shaped to enter, and the beauty of fighting my sins.
I won't think about heaven if I don't want to fight sin.
Rather I'll preoccupy my thoughts.
I will make sin breed more sin.
Irritation, anxiety, anger, and dissatisfaction will seep into my mind and I will feel the beginning pains of physical discomfort.
The war is beginning.
I will either pick up my sword or I won't.
That is the fatal moment.
So heaven comes to mind. Even when I don't want it to. I resist the picture. The perfection of heaven's glory and it being a place saturated with God's wisdom and knowledge. A place where everyone and everything acknowledges that God is great, good, and perfectly satisfying. Everything becomes as it should be--there is no death or destruction, both physically or emotionally, and all of creation takes a humble knee together as they enjoy everything together--the garden, the animals, even the animal dens and highest heights without fear of falling. They enjoy the knowledge of God.
God will cause a place to exist where such crazy scenarios as newborns playing by cobra pits, young lions being led on a stroll with a child, and a lion enjoying a bowl of straw hay with utmost satiation come to be everyday things. There is no fear of getting hurt, only freedom to venture with all of creation.
This is where we, as God believers and children, are being led to. So how does this imagery of heaven have anything to do with fighting sin?
For me it's about being confronted by my disbelief. I see the worst in me in most situations, because seeing the worst in me helps me see the best in Christ. I am completely a recipient of grace. However, something I've noticed recently is my fear of joy or the act of running from it. I run from goodness and joy when I shouldn't and that is ludicrous.
Let me explain.
When the beauty and perfection of heaven awaiting my soul becomes an anchor for me to persevere in a time where the temptation to sin is strong-- I find in me that I not only desire the sin for what it instantly provides (whether it numbs an unwanted feeling or gives me a brief burst of excitement) but I also fear my ability to be led into the Higher place. I feel ill-equipped and very afraid. The desire for sin and the fear of glory make the battle almost futile.
So what is it? What do I do in such cases when sin is satisfying and heaven is too much for me to handle?
I don't know if there is anything I do at all, but what I do know is that there is a strong voice in me that says "look at Jesus." I find myself relentlessly attached to Jesus in such times of defeat. What hope have I but to look to Him? Doubtless I have seen some very significant changes in my character that have played out in other external transformations, but when temptation comes in and I am trapped by its alluring appeal which only feeds my self-disdain and makes me cowardly about walking into higher places, I sink back into sorrow and suffering. I hold the hands that I feel are so strong yet so surreal. When defeat has overcome my senses I am found in an oddly restful place...spattered with awe and disbelief at how this could be so: grace. And I really wonder, could this be so? Am I that lavished by grace to find myself here or is there something missing? What's going on? Trying to figure out grace is not a fun thing to do, but I do it anyway because for me it is also grace in action. I must think, and when I have thought about as much as I can, I can take another step. So here's what I have found.
Is it reality that I fear? And by fearing it and staying in a false place, does that make things better or worse? And if worse, why won't I step into reality? There is the pain of reality and the pain of living a lie. Pain is inevitable, but perhaps because I have faced the pain of living a lie I feel it can be handled somehow, while the pain of reality may break me beyond repair. This is of course the most obvious lie, but it is stronger than you might think. It is strong enough to even tell you up front that it is a lie and yet still have you in its deathly charms. What are the charms of these lies? Perhaps it is identity or validity or glory? All three of those are at stake when we venture to step into reality. We may find a shattered identity or the truth of being an invalid and/or a complete draining of any glory to make us smile or take another step.
We may essentially sink into the Pits.
The Pit of invalids, dullness, nobody's and unlovables.
But consider again, if we were to stay in our false mentalities, comfortably ignorant of the realities mentioned above...doesn't that seem better, easier? But what is it? Remaining in a lie does nothing but shock you for when things get bad.
And things will get bad. The difference between things getting bad in reality and things getting bad in falsity that the bad in reality is real and the bad in falsity is false. In other words, real bad things will be happening but if one is stuck in falsehood it will happen without a moments notice and no matter how protected you might feel with your eyes closed--that will not matter at all. In reality we are most prepared to fight, but in falsity we are caught off guard by everything that doesn't go the way we wanted it to. But falsehood covers our eyes so that when trouble happens we continue going toward it. It's like a blind person walking towards oncoming traffic.
Before you know it--you're dead.
So reality is understanding that death awaits us all, but it is also seeing that Christ died to one day resurrect us from death to life. This latter part of reality is also what changes us from remaining in ignorance and gets us living a life of God's knowledge over our own. The life meant to be lived as God created.
The life we are all getting back to in Heaven, starting now.
So perhaps the pain of reality is awful and heart burning, but painful as it may be it is more painful to remain in a lie--though a lie numbs all the most intense moments that we want to numb, merely by covering our eyes from reality, it is walking into oncoming traffic with a blindfold. Just like Russian roulette at any moment you could die forever and all because you didn't want to take off the blindfold and find that you desperately needed help.
Thinking about Heaven helps me remember that God intends for us to have abundant life. Not just to live but to live grand. To stroll with lions, soar on eagle's wings, and move mountains. This heaven is only a reality with God in sight.
Heaven is a place where we finally see what was there from day one: our Maker and King who powerfully directs all of creation to be about the grandest life.
Here, today, we are in that plan.
And His plans are unstoppable.
So don't fear if you've fallen into temptation, but ask for help and be ready for what God says.
There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
Everyday is a step into heaven.
Jmegrey
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