Everything about obedience is being dependent on God.
In some crazy twisted way I manage to argue with my obedience at times when resisting temptation to sin (especially if it is a familiar sin that I have triumphed before) as if it represented my autonomy (a new disparaging known sin, parading before me as a graver sin than the one I am trying to resist, the one I have resisted several times before), so then it is not what is sin in that moment, but which is the worse sin? How sick is that? I remember CS Lewis documented this in his book, Screwtape letters. For a moment, without much investigation (since it's often assumed that when I am being sinful I am being sinful) but the devil is trickier than that! Indeed, when I start to become more aware of my sin, the tactics to sin also change, as if I've discovered one of their positions and likewise they abandon that and regroup in other areas. It's a tricky thing to be on guard at all times, and to not think that one victory or discovery of the enemy's lies means the complete scourging.
The more I find is definitely good, the more light shed upon the darkness the wider my territory of God's presence in my life, however, it is here now that the darknesses become less and less obvious. Or that I become dangerously close to being content with the space I've gained in Christ, whether by laziness or just the mere want of rest from all the fighting. But when God promised His people all the promised land, did He not command the Israelites to follow through with His Ban (Deut 7) for the sake of His people? It was required for their sakes and their protection, for the sanctity of their position as God's people. If they didn't follow the ban (which they didn't) then they became susceptible to the religions of the surrounding people groups, they disobeyed God (a reason in itself to be denied God's protection), and they failed to gain the blessing in full...not only that but what followed suit was beyond morbid as depicted in the book of Judges.
"A little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough."
Gal. 5:9
In other words, a little sin will turn everything moldy! A little poop in your bowl of cereal makes the entire bowl disgusting!
If then I am told to persevere and put off the old self completely (Ephesians 4:22-24) doesn't that mean even the crevices and every remaining strand that was of my former self? I mean, God has clearly stated the ban on our former selves by saying we are to be new creations. Not partially, but completely.
It's here that their tricky traces are found less in the acts themselves, but in the rivulets of motivations, doubts, and confusion. A strong Spirit-led discernment is absolutely crucial. In fact a Spirit led discernment is the only one with the power to save us from falling for the lies (John 16:15). Without a Spirit led discernment we are just empty clay jars--breakable and unmendable, but with the Spirit of God we are empowered clay jars carrying the power of God! We are still breakable, but His power can fix that in a snap! So then, our obedience to do what He says puts us in vulnerable situations, many times in places where we do break into pieces, in order that He display His power in putting us back together.
So how do we strengthen our discernment? We don't. It is the Spirit of God that discerns for us, and therefore it is our sole responsibility to rely utterly on Him. How, you might ask do we rely on the Holy Spirit for such a crucial need? Indeed, the more I walk this walk the more I see a complete surrender to God is again the only way. There is no such partiality to becoming Christian. For nothing we do is of ourselves, since we are all created bodies not immune to sickness and death. How then do we access the Spirit?
All power and authority has been given to Jesus (Matt. 28:18/ Luke 10:19), who we "put on" by the Holy Spirit enabling us, we as our ordinary selves are the downplayed earthen vessels which yet hold the power of the Spirit (2 Cor. 4:7), to overcome the enemy.
It is regaling upon the gospel daily, looking to our Savior Jesus who was sent by the Father to defeat our unmendablness by filling us with His Spirit, that eternal Life of immunity.
And I'm again at bowing down to God with utmost reasonable acknowledgment that obedience to Him is not autonomy, but complete surrender. If I love Him I will obey Him. If I obey Him, I am not making an autonomous decision, but I am making the choice to trust that if I break He will put me back together, and that if I fail He will produce perfection out of my failure, and I obey in order to receive that immunity, that Forever invincibility, that power, that of Himself in me.
There is no autonomy in obedience friends. Perhaps I am quite dull to even consider this, but for me this truth gives me reason and firm ground to obey in the face of difficulty. Especially when I see sin, and the choice to resist is weak, I then must remember this truth.
I cannot resist sin on my own, I will fail too many times. I must remember that my obedience is connected to my belief in Jesus.
When "Just obey" is not convincing enough, then ask the Holy Spirit to remind you why obedience is power, and He will give you the motivation and the freedom to walk in obedience in any situation, especially ones where you will probably shatter, JUST SO God can mightily put you back together, because He is God and He is kind of genius at making things new.
Don't get me wrong, this is something I need to remind myself of every single time I face temptation from the littlest things (like getting angry at someone on the freeway) to the bigger beastly things that are entrenched within me to destroy me (like anxiety). I forget so easily, and it's amazingly humbling to know that God is patient and His mercies are new every morning. But most of all that obedience means Life in me, not merely serving God as his subject. This is the relationship with a personal God who is inviting us to partake of Himself, for Himself, to be of Him! Obedience is personal in that we are given this great blessing to Know God! Then it is also beholding an infinite being with finite eyes! Where do I stand then? Only at the foot of the cross, gahh. It is here, then, that I eat obedience and it is sweeter than the honey comb.
“Tribulation (entering the arena of potential shattering) brings about perseverance (obedience); and perseverance, proven character (power); and proven character, hope (Jesus); and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts THROUGH the Holy Spirit who was given to us”
(Romans 5:3–5).
And this is an earlier battle for my personal example:
I just want to be right!
I see the stubbornness of my mind: Convinced until I'm not.
Unconvinced until convinced.
The mind is not easily shook of it's decisions, and when it is it's more of a tremble or tremor, and then a bashing before a flop....landing upside down.
I want to convince everyone else of where they are wrong (and where I am right). In my head I hear a rebuttal or play the devils advocate quite naturally, and I even play it well regardless of if that is really my stance in the topic.
And then to know that I'm powerless. I, apart from God, know nothing of value. (This always hits me at some point)
I cannot change or transform a mind, not even my own!
I can however recognize when I am overwhelmed, lazy or anxious in regards to knowing God more. If things feel or are in fact way too complex...to still go at it, in faith, believing that God is at work in the result, I am at work in the belief.
That is the scary thing, until it's not.
Haha
Let me explain. When talking to someone who says they believe in the prosperity gospel and they back up their claims with feelings of "God's affirmation", tears, and even several outside confirmations by others who know nothing of their circumstance, all of these are quite ....charismatic in essence. However God is known as a father who knows His son or a wife knows her husband or a shepherd knows his sheep (though this example is a bit archaic for us non-shepherds) the point being, as J I Packer helps clarify is that God is not merely an "essence" or a "feeling", but He is as knowable as the extent to which you know your friend, spouse, parent or teacher.
God seems to be way out of our caliber, yet meets us on some personal level-- kind of like ...an epiphany. Or as my theology school says, a theophany! Haha.
“Tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us” (Romans 5:3–5).
--
Question: what is personal about God?
Because if God is not personal it makes no sense for Him to send His only Son to become a man, suffer, die and then rise again.
And then....several hours later I wrote what is up there. Because after all, on the meekest level it is usually always about sin. To put it off completely, or to put it off partially. (I hardly ever have the desire to not put it off at all).
Oh that God would draw nearer to me, as I rationally draw near to Him. Not for sanity, though He does provide the best of that, but for Life. To be ok to break, and to be excited for Him to do His powerful work of putting me back together in a new fashion.
That is the sweetest freedom for a frail mind as I have.
Jmegrey
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