How sweet it makes the law of God?
How meaningful and rich and deep it is to the soul that hungers for that stuff!
Imagine you have the most incredible genius idea about how to spend the perfect day with someone. Like a date. You know a lot of about this person from friends and you are definitely attracted. So you got the most incredible day planned out, I'm talking great new restaurant on a hilltop with outdoor tables that have telescopes for star viewing, then hopping over to the new starfish exhibit to pet live ones, riding a hot air balloon in the evening where you might float into the stars, and ending with a very corny short but sweet poem that you recite to your date to tie in every single thing that happened with how much this person's brightness is like the stars in the sky and how their presence is as surreal as the petting of the starfish, so on and so forth.
For me, when I want to share the gospel with the people I love most or with someone I see has so much to flourish in, or with someone that is visibly hurting or heavy with going nowhere, it's like preparing and doing the date described above, but there is one problem: we don't speak the same language. There is a staunch language barrier. The words I so cherish to bring me clarity are like puffs of smoke that vanish in an instant for the other, useless. So then all I have are the actions, but the message I want to convey is so limited, the connection to hear, share and exchange conversations is lost, and the words we do say are crippled. Sigh. Yes actions will speak loudly, and it will be quite a shift to speak only with the actions, and yes it will take 5 times more work to even get close the message I want to convey had we been able to speak the same language, but I yearn to use the words that I know have grasped me in such a dazzling way! Yet in this scenario I cannot. I simply can not.
That's what it is like, I think, for me when I want to share the gospel good news of Jesus Christ with someone. I know I'm still learning, and it only takes a day with people to realize how far I still fall short, but I do want to try with whatever means available to share how great the gospel is. I'm seeing now how not easy it's going to be.
It's reassuring to remember that I never did anything to get to where I am except be a receiver of help, and to hurt with my heart open to God.
I want to share the gospel, but I know I could be wrong in what or why I may want to share. So if I sit back or if I speak up, I'll know that the gospel will reach someone if God wills it, and it will be my freedom to know that He uses my weaknesses and failures to make Himself mighty to me and others. This is something I have to remember, because I naturally feel like feeling wrong is wrong, but feeling wrong is not wrong (assuming it's in line with God's Word and not a blatant sin like feeling wrong to rob a store), what I mean is that feeling wrong is not wrong in the sense that you shouldn't be feeling that way. Feeling wrong is not wrong if that's how you really feel. Just because something feels wrong does not make it an illegitimate feeling. It must be surrendered and held by God for His love to heal and redeem it.
The gospel is good news for the wrong feeling person. To know that you feel wrong and to open that truth to God with so many tears at the apparent inadequacy is giving God more of the opportunity to make known to you that He deeply loves you. If God can love you in being wrong without a thing to do about it, it is an acceptance on a level beyond petty friendships. It's a covenant love, one that protects the parts of you that are inherently wrong with love and support to free you up in letting Him aid that inadequacy--not because only He can do it, because that's a known fact about God in being God, but because you know from having done it that the part of you that is so wrong is not thrown away or trampled on or judged even, but held with so much love. God created every human being and every thing that makes up who you are is made by Him. When a part of you is inherently wrong (mostly from all mankind having inherited sin), it's not something to be thrown away, it's something to be redeemed and restored to its rightful function. So then every dysfunction, every corrupt thought, every blatant rebellion can be safely held by Him who loves all that He made.
I want so badly for certain people in my life right now to know the gospel I have in my heart, but I know that even if I don't see them change by my words or actions or my prayers, God will have His way. Perhaps ... In such a deep and incomprehensible love it is love in action for me to face these sort of frustrations with others.
I have seen that I still need freedom in other areas, and yet there is very little I have in my ability to get it, and this has me falling in love with God and His Great Grace and Great love for me all over again and ever deeper.
If you don't get the gospel now or it isn't as great as you think I make it sound, then don't lose hope. God knows what He's doing, and when you let Him in on your less lovely parts He will hold them and speak to you the way you will really hear. Be candid with God.
Jmegrey
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