I forget so easily it sometimes catches me by surprise, to be so naturally inclined of forgetting something as important as my identity in Christ, the power of Christ, and even (sadly) Christ Himself. When my fears start creeping up around me like shadows in the darkness of my boredom, anxiety, stress, hunger, or over-exhaustion from the day, I succumb to their goal of trying to make me cower. When in reality, shadows are nothing but "a dark figure or image cast on the surface by a body of intercepting light" (taken from the dictionary app). In other words, we cast our own shadows when we try to intercept the Light. I create the images of fear, and then I make them more real to me than the light that can expose them for the mere reflections that they are. I keep realizing that humility is not thinking less of myself, but thinking of myself less. To humbly get on my knees before God, getting out of the way of myself, and allowing His light to shine through. It often begins to bear down on me when I start getting close to people, and they begin to open up to me, I naturally react to such a beautiful gift as something I did to earn, I was kind enough to earn their respect, or I was understanding enough to confide in, or I was wise enough to be consulted, and then when I start thinking like that I begin to think I am responsible for seeing their brokeness be healed, and the burden of such a task is too much for me. And fear kicks in. That's when I'm reminded that I did nothing for this person to open up to me, it wasn't that I was kind, or understanding, or wise in anything, but Christ flowing through me, used my weaknessess, which also happen to be my lack of all of those things, to show that He can use EVEN someone like me to be an instrument of delivering healing, joy, and a change from dark to light. Christ in me directs my interactions, and likewise, Christ in me will carry them through to completion, and I just trust in Him. The load is lifted and I am merely there as He works in me, through me, and there is no pressure to be anything but trusting.
J
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