Hurdles

I have to examine my heart over and over before I speak a word to someone whether it be advice, encouragement or a confrontational rebuke.  I make all sorts of excuses for why I should be quiet, but I am learning to fine tune the way I speak to people, so that I make an effort (against my natural desire and comfort) to convey a message carried by love rather than to show that I'm right or that they are wrong. To speak or not to speak is all about my heart.

After a really heart raw conversation with one of my very good friends here I realized that I've not sacrificed anything worthy of being called a sacrifice yet.  My one thing, as difficult as it was (to me it felt like one of the biggest sacrifices I have ever made), was actually quite minuscule in light of what God really wants from me (which is everything). I walk forward still, excited for how I can grow closer to see Him better.  Although I found my sacrifice so novice next to the real risks my friend took in trusting God, she really opened my eyes to just how good God is.  He usually asks for more when He is planning to give even more to us!  The bigger the sacrifice and level of trust and faith that our obedience requires the more He is leading us to deeper levels of His richness.  To know God's nature and character, an actual glimpse of how good He is...even just a glimpse is all it takes to throw whatever this world has into the trash!  (The world may throw a hot body at you, God is way more meaningfully epic than our vanity and the admiration of others, it may throw millions of dollars at us, chump change to the joy and confidence people think will only come with more money or more stuff or more ways to be lazy, the world may throw fame or recognition at us for something we do, and that too will last for only a brief time until the next person comes along and we are yesterday's has-been.  My point is God actually has something to offer us, and that is Himself.  To know God.  God who speaks and things just must come into existence, I mean, if you love an adventure it is so much more fun when you Know God through a relationship.  He does things in your life that people die trying to attain, like giving you a reason to do what you love to do.  He is so good.  I am so loved, and if God calls me to stay in Cambodia for the next few years of my life I will.  If He calls me back to California or Nashville or maybe to morocco I will go just to obey, even if another part of me would be terrified, I have tasted and seen who God is, and how He loves me that I can't help but want to know and see Him more!  

One step at a time means one issue, one obstacle at a time.  Yea I have multiple hurdles to jump on this track, but the reality of it is that the one right in front of me is the one I need to focus on in order to even get to all the other ones, and thank God for that!  When I start to feel overwhelmed at how many hurdles I'll need to jump I begin to feel as if I have to have enough power in my legs to jump all of them in one giant super leap!  While this is possible, because God can do that, He's God, but most of the time it's usually one thing at a time, and it's never a hurdle that we are incapable of jumping(1 Corinthians 10:13).  God gives us everything we need (the amount of energy, the resources, the strength, etc) to get over each specific hurdle (whether it be an amount of money He is asking you to give, a phone call to make, a relationship to end, or advice to heed from someone we don't respect, whatever it is, it will be difficult (so, so difficult it oftentimes may look and feel impossible) but we will have all that we need to do it in Christ.  God just desires our obedience in both the big things and the little things.  Our obedience is more important than our issues.  

So what's the one hurdle right now that is in front of you?  Think about it.  Stop looking at all the hurdles and focus on the one thing in your heart that has been bobbing it's ugly head in your mind lately.  You usually  think about it first when you start to pray because it is in the way.  And recognize that this is one hurdle, one hop of obedience, one response to one obstacle.  Then, and only after you've passed this one, then you can more clearly see the next hurdle.  One at a time.

Can I just add that obedience doesn't always feel like this great euphoric victory?  Sometimes our hurdles come in sets, we have one major issue that needs to be dealt with by taking leaps over a series of steps before we have completely left the major issue in the dust behind us.  (Issues like forgiveness, addiction, pride, insecurity, greed, and anger)  So don't think that just because you fought and won today that you're supposed feel great, don't rely on your feelings to dictate your progress.  It is about finishing strong, not starting or continuing strong.  The only thing that will matter is whether or not you obeyed until the very end.  Nobody cares about the athlete who was ahead of everyone at the second or third lap, but the one who finishes has every reason to celebrate and cry tears of joy as they place the gold medal around their neck.  So run to win, or don't run at all.  How you finish will be the only thing that matters.  And thankfully we are assured that in Christ we will win, it is written.