To God's beloved,
You are lavished by God's grace. This letter is just to remind you that you are still walking in Gods perfect will. You are anointed with intercession, grace, and favor! Be thankful for that everyday. So now, it is time for you to take the next step along this perfect path toward God.
I want you to remember everything you saw and learned through dts lectures and outreach. Remember the Relationships, how you grew to love the very people you thought you could never love (which you couldn't do on your own, but with Christ in mind you could begin to think like Him).
Remember the people on outreach, the old lady sitting on the little shovel, and how God revealed how He loved her. Remember the struggle, and how you knew it was your weakness and spiritual unrest that took you out of it. The heat was painful, the humidity was agonizing, the bugs were overwhelming, the smells, the dirt, the trash, the still days of having nothing to do. Remember handwashing your laundry. I want you to remember these things because they were so difficult for you to cope with. They were so difficult, but they were very loud indicators of the nature of God in His bigness. Trust in God looks like more than you think.
He is conducting His will in the thick of poverty, and He rains down pure joy to those in dire need of the basic necessities like clean water. He gives and He takes away. He causes all things to grow according to His perfect plan. He is the big God who sees the small people of all nations. His ways and His thoughts are higher than yours in every way.
Jamie, He wants to work out your life for good things so don't stop loving Him with all your heart. Always check your heart thoroughly.
Jamie, don't forget that the other reason you chose to leave early was because you wanted to fix the relationships back home.
You are ready to walk in humility before your dad, your church leaders, your friends, and yourself.
I want you to always remember that this life is a vapor, and that if you truly believe in Jesus then you can walk confidently in Him in everything and anything you do. Remember that.
Don't think about perfection, but rather keep your mind and heart and eyes on Jesus and eagerly anticipate Him. Continue taking up your cross and going forward.
You could have stayed and suffered more for outreach, but you knew God would love you just the same if you left (even if the reason for leaving was because it was too hard for you both physically and spiritually) remember that God knew and He loves you like a father. He loves you more than your mom loves you, and he wants intimacy and closeness with you. Your mom wanted you back home, and perhaps God wanted you not to suffer longer in Cambodia. Perhaps. But regardless, keep walking in humility because it is futile to walk in apathetic or three-fourths Christianity.
Always strive to be like Christ. Strive everyday through prayer, the word of God, community, and worship.
Be grateful for His favor on you, be excited for His anointing on you, be fervent with His gifts to you.
Keep putting on the armor of God, daily. Arm yourself with the Word of God, and speak truth into your mind with knowledge of His Word. God's Word will nourish your mind and body, so don't ever stop reading and knowing more of who God is and what He is speaking to you. In that way you will walk, then run, then soar as one who cannot but love God with everything. In this way you will begin to have a greater faith that will lead to a more ruthless trust in God, and God always wants to talk to you. Perhaps you'll be back in Cambodia, so always be preparing for wherever God leads you.
He is all, and in all. He is in you, Jamie, and you are His Beloved.
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I just wanted to include that my experience here has so shaped me up to want to follow God with all I am. I have had the privilege and joy of meeting a community of strong believers here in Battambang, which is one of the strongest indicators that God led me here. I have tasted and seen the goodness of pure hearts, and I will truly miss so many people here...until I see them again. I would advise anyone looking to do a dts to not think twice about applying here. I have gained a valuable gift here, and that is my own raw and real love for The Lord. Even though I am not going to formally finish my dts, I have finished what I came here for in the first place and that was total transformation. I still want to teach the bible as a missionary, and I hope I can be who God has anointed me to be even if my weaknesses seem to obscure the way. I will not be able to attend SBS in Montana as I had planned, but God has His way with me especially in my weaknesses. I trust in His unfailing love.
So begins the next leg of my race...
In other words it is time to put into action all that I have learned here back at home.
Prayerfully,
J
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