See?

God do you still love me?

That's what I find in my heart, I cannot deny that there is a feeling of dissapointment from God towards me for not completing my dts here.  

Does God still love me?

I was told that God loves me more than my mom.  I am comfortingly certain that my mom still loves me (if not even more than before, her love seems to just grow to newer heights and I am so excited to se her again without any shame) so if it is true that God loves me more than her, then why doesn't it feel that way?  I feel like I need to go sit in the corner and think about what I've done in shame.  I think it's because my view of God is still a little distant.  I am super close with my mom, I talk to her almost everyday about everything, and I have no secrets from her (I don't think, haha).  I think that's why I feel so loved by her.  She and I are always communicating, and I feel I can be myself around her.  I think I keep trying to impress God rather than just be myself.  Maybe that's why I feel like I let Him down.  I mean, I am covered in this amazing grace of His, because I don't deserve to enter into His holy presence, but His Word says that when I accepted Jesus as Lord, I died and became righteous.  I don't feel righteous, in fact I feel scared and a bit like a failure, but His word says I am righteous through Jesus. I repent everyday and find myself in complete and utter gratefulness for His sacrifice and kindness that bends my knees down again and again.  I am loved by God.  I am righteous.  I will strive to become more like Him despite my weaknesses and stumbling moments.  His kindness brings me to this sincere desire to change and let go of every idol that vies for the throne in my heart.  Nothing is better than when I am in His presence.  So I'm not going to walk away from it feeling condemned, but I'm going to step back into it with confidence and joy that I am His!  There's nothing more to it, I choose Him.  

His grace never runs out for me.  Even when all I do is fail and sin and leave outreach early, His grace still keeps pouring.  Why?  Because of Jesus.  I hope you know Jesus.  What He did changed everything.  He loves you.  He loves me. 

He is coming soon, and when He does I'll be seen in glory with Christ.  I want you to know this kind of excitement!  I want you to know Jesus, He is the best, and better than anyone and everything.  

For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. (Colossians 3:3, 4 ESV)

Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ. (Colossians 3:3, 4 MSG)

I'll continue running...making Jesus known.  

This is all my hope and peace,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus. 

This is all my righteousness,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh precious is the flow,

That makes me white as snow!

No other fount I know,

Nothing but the blood of Jesus. 

Covered in grace,

J