Sometimes I forget, scratch that, everyday I forget (unless I am continually reminded) that I am complete.
My thoughts are really a torrent.
I love when it rains because I can hear the water fall on my window and on the pavement below.
Rain reminds me that God is real.
My heart races at the idea of not having everything I want or need. I suddenly become anxious, and all I want is to make that feeling in my head and in my heart go away.
...
The Christian lives on two planes (horizontal and vertical axis)
Vertical = with God
Horizontal = with people
When we think sin has to do with our vertical status (our relationship with God) then we start Spiritual naval gazing-- how am I doing with God? What am I doing? Is God mad at me? Is God disappointed in me? Does God really love me?
All this is not looking out for anyone but myself. This is a life of self-securing. I can't be obsessed with me and serve you (let alone God for that matter!). It's a clever trick of the devil to use our piety as a distraction from our freedom in Christ. That has been the case for me, at least.
In the Old Testament God said that when His people repented He would heal them, because He already knew they'd screw up. He sent the storms and trials to break them off from their self-securing delusions--which only lead to that cycle of shame, guilt and deflation.
"If I close the sky so there is no rain, or if I command the grasshopper to consume the land, or if I send pestilence on My people, and My people who are called by My name humble themselves, pray and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land."(2 Chronicles 7:13-14 HCSB)
God wanted them to be free, but self security and chasing other things enslaved them.
God's people kept falling away, kept sinning, but God knew and had a plan set in motion from even before Israel was chosen. God knew they would be terrible sinners. Just like God knows I am a terrible sinner incapable of "doing right" consistently...so far be it from me that that should be what His love hinges on!
He sent His Son to take away our sin despite human actions, in order to give us eternal life by believing in Him. Then with our sin atoned for we are graciously given directives in how to live freely horizontally. The saved person is saved because they believe in Jesus, and now the gift that comes with salvation is not only for life after death but life on earth. The kingdom of God on earth.
For example a generous person that gives has more freedom than a greedy person that is constantly trying to get!
Mark 9:1 - And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power.
Matthew 12:28 - But if I cast out devils by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God is come unto you.
Matthew 6:10 - Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.
Luke 17:21 - Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.
Luke 11:20 - But if I with the finger of God cast out devils, no doubt the kingdom of God is come upon you.
Christ brought the Kingdom on earth, first through His incarnation that then led to the gift of the Holy Spirit for all who believed. The Holy Spirit is the kingdom in me because I have access to God the Father at all times. A kingdom is not just a plot of land or a castle with other houses around it. A kingdom is wherever a king lives. If the King lives in us, albeit spirit-form, then the kingdom is within us. Better to be in spirit than in the physical because the spirit is eternal whereas the physical is temporary.
Therefore, in regards to all the exhortations made about serving others- these are not instructions for the vertical life, but for the freedom in horizontal living (life on earth with others).
Freedom is light, slavery is a heavy burden.
Light life is not trying to get, because you already have everything which is the kingdom of God who owns everything. Getting rather than giving makes it strenuous to love anyone else. Good works are there for us to do to help set us free from the getting-ness! It has, I would say, nothing to do with piety! Forget about being pious, because you're incapable of that! But piety is IMPARTED passively to us when we partake in Christ, in other words when we follow his directives for walking in the freedom He gave us.
We are trying to get God to serve us by "doing right". In other words we have a transaction based mindset. My piety for God's love and forgiveness. When we live "good spiritually" banking on our piety--we feel good and therefore something inside us feels like we now have earned or deserved God's love, in that way God's love depends on us not on His grace! That's heresy!
Is it up to me to do right and stay on God's good side?? If so I'm in trouble because my "goodness" never lasts for very long, and it's a cycle of shame, guilt and deflation. I literally feel deflated over and over again...until the truth of the gospel is once again made clear. I do not do good works to enter into God's family on my abilities, but I do good works because I already belong to Him. There is a monumental difference!!
The moment that difference is blurred is the moment I am blinded by morality/legality and spiritual "naval gazing". I look at myself, my position, my status as a Christian, my feelings, my sin and struggles, my, my, me. I become a slave to sin disguised as piety.
Rather...
Keep the difference always before you! Vertically you are good and complete, having all you need because Christ is in you and you are heirs to the kingdom. However, horizontally you need help and guidance to live among other sinners who are just like you. They need God.
Good works that flow from faith are not part of the transaction with God-- but is for the freedom to love others.
Christ has set me free, so I can freely live! And He graciously shows me how: By loving others.
"Fruit of faith Therin be showing
That thou art to others loving,
To thy neighbor thou wilt do
As God in love hath done to you."
-Luther
Much thanks to pastor Tullian who helped delineate these things for me through his series on the book of Romans.
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