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Sometimes I say things that don't really make sense, but in the moment I get a little carried away by my desire to sound poetic or the delusion that I am inevitably a poet. When in fact, the best poetry flows from the inward honesty that says exactly what is happening, and the realness of the description are what make it vividly come to life from words on a page to revelations in the heart. So grace upon grace, I need grace even in those "blips" where I betray what I know with what I want in a subtle tyrannical publication. When you read something of mine and you don't know what I'm talking about, it could very well be that you are more correct in your confusion than my writing is in it's ubiquity. Case in point. Ubiquity makes no sense in that sentence, but for some reason that was the first word that came to mind and that I wanted to use. Well, I suppose it's not entirely incorrect in it's usage, but it does not tell what I was initially trying to convey, a better word would have been verity. I'm a human being who clings tightly to many things, but I am learning to let go for the real thing. In doing so I find the process hilariously revealing.
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On my desire to know more about the Holy Spirit I came across a helpful excerpt from Terry Virgo's book "God's Lavish Grace" (where I gleaned much of my new understanding of grace, and which catapulted me now to know more about the Holy Spirit).
He writes:
"Practical holiness in reality depends on your constantly making good choices. The choices you make every moment of every day reveal the kind of person you have become and increasingly shape the person you are going to be.
Your character is developed one choice at a time, as you face the diverse circumstances that come your way. (What a marvelous sentence--proven by mere common sense and logic, the kind you should read over and over until it confronts you in your face.)
As a follower of Jesus, your choices are not to be base on pragmatism or expediency, but on pleasing the Lord. Right choices will come from inner convictions based on God's word, enlightened by the Holy Spirit and always motivated by grace rather than guilt. Gradually, winning habits are formed in your life and character. Practical choices around the house, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in front of the television, in the workplace, at college, in relationships, in styles of speech, in the giving of forgiveness and mercy, begin to shape your life." (From the DIY chapter)
Now just because Terry Virgo put these words so eloquently, don't rush to gulp it all down, but take considerable time and an intentional mind to then read the Word of God to find out for yourself if this really is what God wants. Does God really want our choices to be based on solely pleasing Him or are we to make decisions to make our lives more successful? What does it mean to make choices enlightened by the Holy Spirit? What is practical holiness as lived out in the Word of God through the disciples? These are the kind of questions that will solidify your faith and trust in God, so ask and seek out the answers from God.
Now just because Terry Virgo put these words so eloquently, don't rush to gulp it all down, but take considerable time and an intentional mind to then read the Word of God to find out for yourself if this really is what God wants. Does God really want our choices to be based on solely pleasing Him or are we to make decisions to make our lives more successful? What does it mean to make choices enlightened by the Holy Spirit? What is practical holiness as lived out in the Word of God through the disciples? These are the kind of questions that will solidify your faith and trust in God, so ask and seek out the answers from God.
So when I asked where the Holy Spirit's power begins and where my efforts (which also seemed to interlace with obedience) end, I think the Lord is gently reminding me that I have to choose every response, as one chooses an outfit from the closet. It's not that I am making an effort to choose the right decision, but that I am fully aware that there is a decision so I am indeed free to choose one over another, despite a consistency in bad choices. A bad decision is usually catalyzed by a bad circumstance, and so the more of the Lord I see, the less dire circumstances appear. Now it comes around full circle, I look upon Jesus as my gracious Redeemer, and in doing so His Holy Spirit counsels me in the truth of wise decisions. As I walk more in the Spirit's guidance, then it is with my intention that I progress to hear and do what the Spirit convicts me of. I am being intentional, and not emotional. I am choosing to make better choices, not trying to be transformed by my efforts to choose. It is in the actual lived out choice that I enter into God's transforming power. Ok, maybe I'm losing some of you in explaining this choice process so let me break it down more simply:
Let's say I have a meeting with a friend who is facing a difficult time at work. She has a terrible boss who mistreats her with condescending remarks and an unreasonable amount of work with a terribly low salary. She calls me on the phone saying how she hates her boss, how she hopes he goes bankrupt or that he somehow is forced to leave the company. She explains how her life is just a mess because of this toxic environment, and that there is nothing she can do to change it. It is in this moment where I must press into the Spirit for guidance on how to help lead my friend in the right direction. So then I pray to myself, asking God to help me, does He want me to just listen? Does He want me to rebuke in a gentle and loving way? Is my motivation for helping her even out of pure and genuine love or do I get a sense of self admiration/accomplishment for giving out advice? When I sense that I do love her, and when I don't want to see or hear that she is backed up in a corner when there is certainly a way out, then I speak. I start to tell her how God is aware of her situation, and that perhaps through this seemingly hopeless circumstance He wants to use it for her to trust in Him by laying down her rights to having any say. That perhaps this is a training in serving others, in responding with that amazing kind of grace to others. In other words, to treat her boss with what he does not deserve. To serve her boss diligently and pray for him, and then to press into Christ for all the moments of pain in taking a beating to her reputation, her pride, her comfort, all and any of those things that cushion us in life. To give up trying to control things, and step out in faith toward God who is shown most explicitly when circumstances look awful. Then she huffs on the phone and starts angrily saying words like: "why can't you just listen to me for once?" or "why do you always try to give me advice?" or "you don't know what it's like!" All of which I feel guilty of, and in that moment I have another choice. I can apologize and retract my words (for what I truly thought was said out of a deep love), or I can gently say again that I stand by my words and I am praying for her regardless of how she takes them. Which is more loving? To appease her and let her wallow in self pity or to offer a way out even if the way out is quite a difficult climb? The latter, of course, but in choosing the latter I must be ready to then continue on with her in the climb. I have now entered her circumstance. By choice. Now, if I had chosen the former, that would be much more comfortable for me. Not only do I not have to enter her circumstance, but on the outside we can remain cordial friends without my reputation being attacked. Choosing to withhold truth from my friend is a sin of omission, and just as sinful as murder. I am allowing her to stay outside the arms of Christ, letting her remain in the enemy's hands by such a choice of mine. (Although sometimes we are led not to enter into people's bad circumstances, so it all depends on what you are personally hearing from God, it's not that we can do anything anyway, so only if God says to do something will that choice be made fruitful. There is no law, there is only obedience and tons of grace.)
So the above example shows the perspective from one person's choices, but you can jump into the other person's shoes as well and see the choices available to them and how it is not always (or more accurately it is usually NEVER) easy to make the choice that leads towards God's presence. He is so contrary to the world and His ways and thoughts are utterly different. So it is in this "leap of faith", this trust in the invisible God, that we begin to walk by the Spirit and not by our selves.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:8,9)
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And truth to be told, I still make very bad choices. I see the warning blinking ahead, and the more I ignore it the less I see it. So for me, personally, I dive head first back into the pool of God's overflowing ocean of grace. The grace that takes my corrupt intentions of disobedience to the Spirit and gets rid of it. I wade in the waters of grace, floating with my arms out looking up at God's face without shame or guilt. I often ponder the very craziness of this all, that I just get to jump into grace and have complete freedom and forgiveness simply by understanding that this is available to me if I choose it, and how could I refuse it?! Wading and washing until every speck of grime is removed, and I am completely perfect. Finding once again, this unfathomable love of God taking me in and changing my mind, wooing me to choose Him, to follow Him, and to devote every choice to pleasing Him...just because there is no greater love than that of His ocean of grace and arms of love in my grimiest state.
--
Now I've lost track of my thoughts for this post (which has been stretched over 8 days, meaning it has lost some of it's fluidity) so I'll stop and publish it here and now.
More on the Holy Spirit soon.
-J
Let's say I have a meeting with a friend who is facing a difficult time at work. She has a terrible boss who mistreats her with condescending remarks and an unreasonable amount of work with a terribly low salary. She calls me on the phone saying how she hates her boss, how she hopes he goes bankrupt or that he somehow is forced to leave the company. She explains how her life is just a mess because of this toxic environment, and that there is nothing she can do to change it. It is in this moment where I must press into the Spirit for guidance on how to help lead my friend in the right direction. So then I pray to myself, asking God to help me, does He want me to just listen? Does He want me to rebuke in a gentle and loving way? Is my motivation for helping her even out of pure and genuine love or do I get a sense of self admiration/accomplishment for giving out advice? When I sense that I do love her, and when I don't want to see or hear that she is backed up in a corner when there is certainly a way out, then I speak. I start to tell her how God is aware of her situation, and that perhaps through this seemingly hopeless circumstance He wants to use it for her to trust in Him by laying down her rights to having any say. That perhaps this is a training in serving others, in responding with that amazing kind of grace to others. In other words, to treat her boss with what he does not deserve. To serve her boss diligently and pray for him, and then to press into Christ for all the moments of pain in taking a beating to her reputation, her pride, her comfort, all and any of those things that cushion us in life. To give up trying to control things, and step out in faith toward God who is shown most explicitly when circumstances look awful. Then she huffs on the phone and starts angrily saying words like: "why can't you just listen to me for once?" or "why do you always try to give me advice?" or "you don't know what it's like!" All of which I feel guilty of, and in that moment I have another choice. I can apologize and retract my words (for what I truly thought was said out of a deep love), or I can gently say again that I stand by my words and I am praying for her regardless of how she takes them. Which is more loving? To appease her and let her wallow in self pity or to offer a way out even if the way out is quite a difficult climb? The latter, of course, but in choosing the latter I must be ready to then continue on with her in the climb. I have now entered her circumstance. By choice. Now, if I had chosen the former, that would be much more comfortable for me. Not only do I not have to enter her circumstance, but on the outside we can remain cordial friends without my reputation being attacked. Choosing to withhold truth from my friend is a sin of omission, and just as sinful as murder. I am allowing her to stay outside the arms of Christ, letting her remain in the enemy's hands by such a choice of mine. (Although sometimes we are led not to enter into people's bad circumstances, so it all depends on what you are personally hearing from God, it's not that we can do anything anyway, so only if God says to do something will that choice be made fruitful. There is no law, there is only obedience and tons of grace.)
So the above example shows the perspective from one person's choices, but you can jump into the other person's shoes as well and see the choices available to them and how it is not always (or more accurately it is usually NEVER) easy to make the choice that leads towards God's presence. He is so contrary to the world and His ways and thoughts are utterly different. So it is in this "leap of faith", this trust in the invisible God, that we begin to walk by the Spirit and not by our selves.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:8,9)
--
And truth to be told, I still make very bad choices. I see the warning blinking ahead, and the more I ignore it the less I see it. So for me, personally, I dive head first back into the pool of God's overflowing ocean of grace. The grace that takes my corrupt intentions of disobedience to the Spirit and gets rid of it. I wade in the waters of grace, floating with my arms out looking up at God's face without shame or guilt. I often ponder the very craziness of this all, that I just get to jump into grace and have complete freedom and forgiveness simply by understanding that this is available to me if I choose it, and how could I refuse it?! Wading and washing until every speck of grime is removed, and I am completely perfect. Finding once again, this unfathomable love of God taking me in and changing my mind, wooing me to choose Him, to follow Him, and to devote every choice to pleasing Him...just because there is no greater love than that of His ocean of grace and arms of love in my grimiest state.
--
Now I've lost track of my thoughts for this post (which has been stretched over 8 days, meaning it has lost some of it's fluidity) so I'll stop and publish it here and now.
More on the Holy Spirit soon.
-J
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