"Ordinarily weaknesses and insults are occasions for shame. But for Paul they are occasions for exultation.
Why? Because the power of Christ is perfected in Paul’s weakness."
I read that and got that it is about the beauty and honor of Christ who suffered first as our example for the way to salvation. Christ wore the clothes of weakness and insults in order to give glory to God. I wonder if His tears on the night he prayed in Gethsemane were bitter ones.
A crucifying of the self for the glory and honor of God is indeed the Royal stamp of all of God's children. We feel the pain of shame rising when we screw up, sin again, or when people view us as weak and incapable, however if what we are doing makes God look powerful, merciful, kind, awesome, Royal, and loving, then it is a pain that is killing the part of us that wants glory from men rather than living lives that make God more glorious. When God is big we look small. When we look big, God looks small. Only one of those scenarios is the truth by which we will live by. One of those is a lie. We do not look big and make God look big, nor do we look small and make God look small. The words "big" or "small" would more accurately be described as sufficient. We cannot look BIG and sufficient and still make God look like He is our source of sufficiency. And we cannot look small and insufficient making God look insufficient to meet our needs unless He really was unable to meet our needs.
In the end it is about faith in who we believe God to be. Sufficient and Big or small and insufficient.
If we do not see God as sufficient for us we will not go to Him in our time of need, but rather we will cling to our self-sufficiency even if that, too, is crumbling before our eyes. It's about our view of God and where God stands in any given moment. Is he standing in a place of high Honor and greatness in your eyes or in a place of far away ambiguity?
How do you see God as big and sufficient?
By looking at Jesus to give you the water when you realize your true stance as becoming weak and insufficient.
Hmmm so honoring God is something that will make you look weak and wrong at times?
When I think of honoring God I think of my good deeds like going on missions, feeding the homeless, abstaining from addictions, and leading bible study groups. I think about worship and prayer and dressing modestly. I think about loving and serving others. Smiling. Being clean.
So what does this me-ugly, God-beautiful scenario look like?
I imagine it most vividly when I actually feel ugly, such as either when I am deep in bad habitual addicting sin, or when someone has a low view of me as a person because I did something I was unaware of as wrong, like offending someone with the intention of being honest and loving. Or when someone is disappointed in my actions (like if I skip a meeting out of tiredness or when I refuse to worship with zeal out of sorrow and guilt in my heart from sinning just prior.)
That's when I feel ugly. Oh well I also feel ugly when I have pimples, gain weight, can't shower, my clothes look frumpy, or I'm hanging around a bunch of losers.
The first examples feel more like they are me feeling ugly before God while the second set are definitely me feeling ugly before people.
Yet where do my loyalties lie? What actions do I take to counteract the times I feel ugly? Do I remedy the ugly me before God more or the ugly me before other people more?
From a sobering stance, I put much more action into remedying the ugly me in the second set than I do in the first. Meaning my ugliness is about me feeling ugly and not about God being beautiful.
If I break out and gain weight and spend my days with the socially awkward and friendless people does that make God less honored? I certainly find it easier to think that it does if I twist the perspective just right.
What if I broke out and gained weight because I wasn't able to shower as much or eat the foods I wanted or exercise BECAUSE I was too preoccupied in loving the homeless and friendless and spending time with them to care or even really notice? Is that taking honor away or bringing it to God? Sigh. The truth confronts me and I see that my life is about me. It's not about the pimples or the weight, but it is about the honor that God is getting by what is happening. I may be looking ugly but God is looking darn amazing.
In summary, Our battle with sin is not about us, but about Jesus who gives us the drink that satisfies our souls. Seek and pray after God to remove the poison in our minds if you notice that what you know is not what you are doing or if what you are doing is not satisfying you enough to keep you from sinning. The diagnosis is that I am a sinner. The cure is that Jesus gives us the drink that we so desperately need. Only from Him giving it to us will we receive it.
If you don't have it now it means perhaps God is drawing you to Him as you go through this season of dissatisfaction. The desire for water that satisfies and breaks us free from sin is from God, and we must recognize that we are at His mercy and grace. Understand that wanting to change is God working in you, and nothing stops God from accomplishing His will. So rest in His power to change you. Rest in His Grace. Have faith in His promises. That even though it hurts now it will bring you to everlasting glory in due time.
And for me it definitely does hurt. Hurts to the point of freaking bitter weeping in the night, the kind that does not always feel good but painful, as if the pressure in my eyes will cause them to pop right out. Hahaha. It sounds funny but it's my personal testimony. There may be weeping in the night, but joy comes in the morning. If joy is absent God is still present and He desires to ultimately become our fullest joy every morning and every night.
Jmegrey
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